Creationist Wisdom #438: Evolution Is for Fools

We’re becoming alarmed about the Free Lance-Star of Fredericksburg, Virginia. There may be some kind of environmental contamination in the area causing a cognitive catastrophe affecting the entire population. We’ve recently encountered a flurry of strange letters-to-the-editor from that area appearing in that newspaper, the last one being yesterday — see #437: All Figured Out.

Today’s letter-to-the-editor also appears in that unfortunate publication. It’s titled Evolution requires more faith than creationism. The best thing we can say about it is that it’s brief.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we’ll just use the letter-writer’s first name, which is Bob. All that we know about him is that he’s had other letters published in the same newspaper. We’ll give you a few excerpts from his latest letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Every day I can read in the newspaper the precise minute of the sunrise, sunset, moonrise and moonset as they vary each day or season.

Yeah, so what? Then he says:

I read about the precise minute of high tides and low tides.

Jeepers — it’s one miracle after another! Let’s read on:

Men have navigated the seas of this world for more than a thousand years by the precise location of the stars at any given season.

More than a thousand years — imagine that! Bob certainly knows a lot about history. He continues:

Men have traveled to the moon and back relying on the laws of physics that resulted from being created, not by the big-bang theory.

Right, Bob. It was physics according to Genesis that got us to the Moon. Here’s more:

It requires more faith or naivete to believe in evolution than it does to believe in creation.

Nicely done! We admire how Bob started with undeniable facts and then arrived at his conclusion. Moving along:

The fool hath said in his heart there is no God. Multitudes today are very comfortable having a fool for their mentor. Pseudo-intellectuals, the blind leading the blind.

Tell it, brother Bob! Don’t hold anything back.

Skipping a bit of scripture about how “The heavens declare the glory of God,” we arrive at the end of Bob’s letter:

There is no speech or language where their voice is not heard.

That’s it. That’s the whole letter. As we said, there seems to be something horrible going on in Fredericksburg. All we can do is add that town to the growing list of places we intend to avoid.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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9 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #438: Evolution Is for Fools

  1. Which compass direction was Bob aligned along when he ejected his letter?

    Curmy, when you wrote, “Right, Bob. It was physics according to Genesis that got us to the Moon,” it made my day. Perhaps you should have left it right there. I hope Bob gets to read your blog entry.

  2. 1. The Big Bang has nothing to do with evolution. To them, evolution = anything that contradicts their hermeneutic interpretation of their Scripture

    2. Its the ultimate intellectual arrogance to call everyone who doesnt believe in God to be fools. Bob’s just trying to give himself a pat on the back that he’s smarter than all the “foolish atheists”.

    3. Funny, I distinctly remember never seeing, hearing or feeling God, yet I have seen experimental evolution before…….

  3. From Psalm 19
    The heavens declare the glory of God; and the firmament sheweth his handywork.
    Day unto day uttereth speech, and night unto night sheweth knowledge.
    There is no speech nor language, where their voice is not heard.
    Their line is gone out through all the earth, and their words to the end of the world. In them hath he set a tabernacle for the sun,
    Which is as a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, and rejoiceth as a strong man to run a race.
    His going forth is from the end of the heaven, and his circuit unto the ends of it: and there is nothing hid from the heat thereof.

    A geocentric proof-text.

  4. TomS says: “A geocentric proof-text.”

    Yes! That ol’ sun races around like “a bridegroom coming out of his chamber.”

  5. What do you want to bet that these creationist missives are being cranked out by hired writers in some boiler room somewhere to make it seem as though there’s a groundswell for Genesis?

  6. Ceteris Paribus

    Apparently the newspaper omitted the last line of Bob’s letter:

    “It’s crackers to slip a rozzer the dropsy in snide”.

  7. Eric Lipps suggests: “What do you want to bet that these creationist missives are being cranked out by hired writers”

    Sometimes they are coordinated. That happens when a state is considering creationist legislation. I can usually spot a Discoveroid-drafted letter when it shows up. But letters like this one are probably the work of a lone creationist. They aren’t, shall we say, intelligently designed.

  8. If evolution requires more faith than creationism, then according to the Bible they should embrace evolutionary theory. The Bible says “walk by faith and not by sight”, and of course faith is a great thing to have (we hear this all the time). Bob also equates faith with naïveté…I couldn’t agree more!

  9. Techreseller

    There is intelligent life in Virginia just north of Fredricksburg. But the area itself, well sigh.