Ken Ham’s Latest News About the Ark

We are pleased to bring you the latest news from the pen of none other than Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia, famed for his creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG) and for the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.

Ol’ Hambo’s thrilling article has an appropriately thrilling title — A Flood of Excitement! Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Fifty-five years after the publication of the classic book The Genesis Flood — which really started the modern biblical creation movement — a full-size Noah’s Ark is projected to open in the summer of 2016 here in northern Kentucky.

This is the book he’s talking about: The Genesis Flood. One of its co-authors was Henry Morris (1918-2006), the founder of the Institute for Creation Research (ICR), about whom we wrote Henry Morris: the Ultimate Creationist. The other author was John C. Whitcomb, who now runs Whitcomb Ministries, Inc., a minor player in the world of creationism, but he still has occasional creationist revival meetings. Okay, back to Hambo:

When the book’s authors, the late Dr. Henry Morris and Dr. John Whitcomb (who turns 90 this month), published their book in 1961, I doubt they could have ever foreseen what would result.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Let’s read on:

Now, there were scoffers back then (as there are today), including from inside the church, who did not see the importance of such a book. … Drs. Morris and Whitcomb, however, understood something vital that many Christians still miss today. The message of salvation through Jesus comes from a Book: the Bible, the very Word of God. Back in the ’60s (and today), the teaching of evolution and millions of years resulted in generations of people not trusting the Book. Now, if this Book can’t be believed regarding its history, then how can it be trusted for its message of salvation — which is based in that history?

That’s a vitally important question, which we leave you to ponder, dear reader. Hambo continues:

The Genesis Flood laid the foundation for a new reformation: to call the church (and culture) back to believing the Bible’s authority. In hindsight, we can certainly see how God used their book to spawn a creation movement that has spread around the world.

Yes, that book and ol’ Hambo’s ministry are calling us back — way back — to that wonderful time before the rise of science and Age of Enlightenment. Here’s more:

Last month, a special event we called our “Hammer and Peg” ceremony was held at Legacy Hall inside the Creation Museum. AiG staff, board, and other officials used wooden mallets to hammer wooden pegs into big wooden beams (which were cut from the trees on the land where our full-size Noah’s Ark will be built). The ceremony signified the launch of the Ark Encounter themed attraction.

Even now, as we think back on that historic event, with all of those creationists pounding their pegs, it’s difficult to know what was more abundant — the tears of joy or the Drool of Idiocy. Moving along:

Having Dr. Whitcomb hammer his peg into a beam at our ceremony reminded me of Martin Luther almost 500 years ago, when Luther hammered his theses into the wooden door of a German church and proclaimed biblical authority. It started the Reformation.

An apt comparison indeed! Another excerpt:

Last month, Dr. Whitcomb gave a succinct but powerful message on biblical authority, and he also presented the gospel. I was honored to be standing next to him as he sat in his wheel chair and knocked his peg into the beam.

It must have been an awesome experience. And now we come to the end:

Be a part of this ongoing reformation that is spreading as God blesses, even with the rampant unbelief and compromise in the church concerning Genesis. The Ark Encounter is a key to this reformation, as I believe God will use it to help bring about salvation and personal revival in millions! Please pray that the life-size Ark and all its exhibits will be completed in the next two years.

We would normally conclude on a lighthearted note, but we are too overcome with emotion for that. Ol’ Hambo’s ark is on the way! Well, maybe. We shall see.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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22 responses to “Ken Ham’s Latest News About the Ark

  1. Whatever floats the creationists’ boat . . . !

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. I do have one question: are they going to fill this life-size replica with actual animals as per Genesis? And if so, which creationist stalwarts are going to volunteer to clean it up? (Personally, I can’t wait to see them try to stuff two of EVERY “kind” aboard, and then care for them in some way that won’t have animal control officers swarming all over them.)

  2. “Having Dr. Whitcomb hammer his peg into a beam at our ceremony reminded me of Martin Luther almost 500 years ago, when Luther hammered his theses into the wooden door of a German church and proclaimed biblical authority. It started the Reformation.”

    Thank goodness Ken doesn’t have to associate with those darned papists!

  3. “Drs. Morris and Whitcomb, however, understood something vital that many Christians still miss today”. Many Christians miss the fact that they are, above all, a source of revenue for the big tent evangelists. Without their largess, the likes of Hambo would be stuck on a street corner with all the other wannabe confidence tricksters.

  4. Dave Godfrey

    “Last month, Dr. Whitcomb gave a succinct but powerful message on biblical authority, and he also presented the gospel. I was honored to be standing next to him as he sat in his wheel chair and knocked his peg into the beam.”

    Please tell me that was not meant to be some sort of euphemism. Or is it just my grubby mind?

  5. gnome de net

    The message of salvation through Jesus comes from a Book: the Bible, the very Word of God…. Now, if this Book can’t be believed regarding its history, then how can it be trusted for its message of salvation — which is based in that history?

    According to The Skeptic’s Annotated Bible, “the very Word of God” is contradicted 471 times, often with respect to historical events.

    Mr. Ham, are you out there? We’d like to have your response.

  6. gnome de net

    Blockquote fail…

    [*Voice from above*] All is well, my son.

  7. SC wraps up his laziness as an invitation to the reader: “which we leave you to ponder”.
    I’ve always trusted the Bible more regarding its historical content than regarding its message of salvation. So I’m not entirely sure what Ol’ Hambo’s problem is.

    “when Luther hammered his theses into the wooden door of a German church”
    Bad news for Ol’ Hambo: Luther totally didn’t. It was his friend Melanchthon who spread this myth after the death of Luther. Also Luther didn’t intend to start the Reformation.
    Oh wait, my bad. Ol’ Hambo’s expertise is confusing myth and history.

    “Please pray that the life-size Ark and all its exhibits will be completed in the next two years.”
    What about the bonds?

  8. waldteufel

    Yes,by all means pray to Hambo’s Invisible Sky Daddy, ’cause nuttin’ fails like prayer.

  9. waldteufel

    “when Luther hammered his theses into the wooden door of a German church”

    I really can’t understand why Christians refer to Luther in glowing terms. He was an evil [Edited out] from start to finish. But then, he’s being fondly remembered here by a grifter who makes his living by lying to children.

  10. Luther was a raging anti-semite, and published on the subject. He suggested that Jewish synagogs, businesses and homes be burned. It was probably Luther that planted the seed of hatred toward the Jews in Germany that would eventually be capitalized upon much later by Hitler in his rise to power. At least, he was surely a much greater influence than Darwin in that regard.

    Luther wasn’t even that much of a literalist on biblical matters – not to the extent that Ham is. He conceded that much of the bible defied rationality, but separated faith from rationality and held that rational thinking was the proper way to interpret the world outside of the bible, while faith was the proper means to interpret the bible. He would have scoffed at Morris’ flood geology. (my opinion)

  11. The message of salvation through Jesus comes from a Book: the Bible, the very Word of God.

    This was after god had killed almost every human and animal on the earth, including those naughty unborn children.

    Please pray that the life-size Ark and all its exhibits will be completed in the next two years.

    Still a tentative finish line. Maybe another $25 million in donations and millions more in tax credits required, plus immense amounts of resources, e.g., wood, etc. It'll keep Home Depot/Lowe's busy for some time unless Ham has his own contractor (on the take of course).

  12. Btw, if you have some money to burn, a day off to spend and need to downgrade your brains John Pieret points at an excellent method:

    http://dododreams.blogspot.com/

  13. waldteufel

    “This was after god had killed almost every human and animal on the earth, including those naughty unborn children.”

    Relax, David. God’s just doing his thing. Killing and wreaking havoc on the people he loves is just what he does. God killing innocent children in da flud was just a bonus for him! 🙂 🙂

  14. Currently, the “donation progress bar” over at arkencounter.com indicates that they are trying to raise $ 29.5 million (and are about halfway there). But I seem to remember that last year, the goal was $ 5 million LESS. They have silently moved the goalposts.

    I suspect the goal will never be reached; they will always be quite a few millions short of the stated, but wonderfully flexible, goal. Long before the progress bar reaches $ 29,5 million, the latter-day ark buildes will discover that they actually need $ 35 million or so. Etc, etc. over years and decades to come …

    If people got the impression that the entire sum had been successfully raised, I guess they might do something outrageous like, you know, STOP SENDING MONEY. Obviously Ham can’t have that.

  15. waldteufel

    hnohf make a great point . . .. I’ve never thought of Hambo’s scam in quite the same way, but it makes a lot of sense to keep moving the goal posts ever so slightly when you are running a scam like the ark thingie. . . . . .

    Good eye, hnohf!

  16. One may well wonder why Ham is waiting until he has all the money he needs to build his ark before he begins. Seems pretty fishy. Wouldn’t it make sense to use some of the millions already collected to start construction now, even if the entire park may not be created right away?

    Unless, of course, he doesn’t really have those millions. Maybe he hasn’t collected “halfway there” yet, or perhaps he has spent millions on “other things”. (“Other things” left to your imagination.)

  17. Sam the Centipede

    Guys, you have missed out on one possibility, which is hinted at by the family name of the Blessed Curator of this wonderful Museum of Myths. Ham, son of Noah, coincidence or sign?

    Maybe God has changed his mind about his covenant with Noa; (it was a long time ago, and God is probably getting forgetful in his old age. It seems that God had appointed (Ken) Ham to be the second Noah (his metaphorical son, it’s a sign!) in a new Great Flood? And yet you scoff?

    Start worrying when you hear Ken Ham a-praying for rain!! Or find a boat, although all other seaworthy boats were useless last time… why?

  18. DickVanstone

    “Even now, as we think back on that historic event, with all of those creationists pounding their pegs, it’s difficult to know what was more abundant — the tears of joy or the Drool of Idiocy. Moving along:”

    I love you, Sensuous Curmudgeon, as much as a straight man can love another man!

  19. Is it just me, or did anyone else misread the second paragraph;

    Ol’ Hambo’s thrilling article has an appropriately thrilling title — A Flood of Excrement

  20. The whole embarrassing “Hammer and Peg” ceremony was presumably intended to give the impression that “the project is now underway — hurray!” Earlier this year, Ken Ham said groundbreaking on the site would take place in May. Obviously it didn’t, but he had to come up with _something_ to keep his followers semi-happy.

    From time to time, Answers in Genesis publishes various concept art for the “coming” attraction (recently we learnt that people will be waiting in line in a tunnel UNDER the Ark — great fun, I guess, unless your claustrophobia gets the better of your religious longings). Also, they have modified their representation of Noah (the previous one had too much gray hair; luckily they realized that at 600 he was actually only MIDDLE-AGED, according to the figures provided in the Good Book).

    But all of these plans are only high-level wishful thinking, as long as there isn’t anything happening on the ground. And no, a geriatric Whitcomb hammering away at a wooden peg doesn’t count as “anything”.

    I wonder — if the Amishes-for-hire actually start piecing together the rudimentary beginnings of some kind of ark, would this help or damage Ham’s larger scheme? Much like JC’s Second Coming, the start of Ark construction would be ever imminent, but it never has to actually occur. Just keep people expectant and donors donating.

    But what if Ham actually tries to deliver?

    I imagine videos where a teary-eyed Ham points to the crude beginnings of some kind of keel on the ground, and then elaborates on how people MUST SEND MORE MONEY AT ONCE to support this great God-honoring project. If they don’t, the Ark Park will be bankrupt before it ever opened (probably because of some kind of conspiracy on the part of evil secularists and evolutionists).

    Of course, all preachers reach their full Extortion Potential sooner or later, and can’t go beyond it. Ark or no ark, Ham can already pride himself that he has done better than most.

  21. From the Feb. 27, 2014 AiG press release:
    “The Ark Encounter will be built on 800 acres off I-75 and in phases over many years. The Ark and other supporting elements will open during phase one. The first phase will cost an estimated $73 million. Several million dollars in donations and Ark boarding passes (memberships) had been raised prior to the bond offering, and most of that amount has already been used to pay for the Ark’s land, secure expensive permits and licenses, clear the property, draw architectural plans, design the exhibits, etc.”

    I tried to find more recent statements from AiG about the status of the bond issue, construction progress, etc., but no luck. It’s really hard to believe it cost $13+ million to “secure expensive permits and licenses, clear the property, draw architectural plans, and design the exhibits”, and I seriously doubt they paid for the land outright instead of merely securing options to purchase — so where did all the money go?

  22. hnohf: “Much like JC’s Second Coming, the start of Ark construction would be ever imminent, but it never has to actually occur.”

    A bit like Waiting for Godot.