Creationist Wisdom #447: Anatomical Anarchy

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Sanford Herald of Sanford, North Carolina — known throughout North Carolina as the geographic center of the state. The letter is titled: What marvelous creations humans are!

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we usually omit the writer’s full name and city. But there’s no problem this time. The letter-writer is a preacher — the Rev. D.E. Parkerson, retired pastor of the First Baptist Church of Sanford. We’ll give you a few excerpts from the rev’s letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Those who choose to believe that human life on earth is the result of accidental changes that took place without deliberate and intelligent design over eons of time are welcome to do so. I choose to believe that you and I were created by a loving and thoughtful God.

That’s up to the rev. If Oogity Boogity makes him happy, it’s okay with us. The universe doesn’t care what we think, or even if we think. But anyone who wants to understand it needs to learn how to think. Anyway, then the rev says:

However many years or millions of years He chose in order for that to happen is His business, not mine. It simply does not matter. He created each human being in His spiritual image and housed that likeness within a physical body.

Gasp! He said “millions of years.” According to hard-core creationists like ol’ Hambo, that’s blasphemy. Let’s read on:

Have you ever given serious thought to what a marvelous and miraculous creation you are — physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually? Your complexity is unexcelled by the government organization of any nation on earth. There is within your physical body a microcosm of mankind.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! What a comparison! No creationist has ever claimed that we are more complex than a governmental agency. That’s really complex! And did you ever suspect that your body is is a microcosm of mankind?

Then the rev spends a few paragraphs dishing out a bunch of anatomical statistics — the number of blood vessels in your skin, the number of heartbeats per minute, the number of bones in a human body, cells, molecules, etc. Is there any point to reciting all those statistics? Yes indeed — a vital point! The rev tells us:

Your body contains such an awe-inspiring world that that it must be governed. Every organization or group must have structure or it will collapse. No nation can exist and prosper if its internal affairs are controlled by outside influences. A community that is not controlled is soon controlled by anarchists. Misrule becomes the rule. That is as true of a human body as it is of an entire nation.

Your carcass needs to be governed! Otherwise — what? — all your parts will start fighting with each other or something. That would be anarchy! The rev continues:

This leads to a very important question: Who is in control of your life? How you answer that question matters a great deal. No external influence can dominate you without your consent. Your feelings, emotions and sentiments are not determined by what happens around you as much as by the decisions you make and the attitude you display. You are no one’s marionette unless you choose to be.

Aha — it’s all about control. Well, dear reader, who controls you? Is it you? Is it Obama? Is it Darwin? The rev gives the answer:

God created you not just as a physical being but also as a spiritual being. This means that you are a moral agent — you have the power to choose. It is why Jesus spoke of the importance of being born from within. And, according to the Bible it is why, as unique as you already are, you cannot and will not ever become all that God created you to be until you have accepted Jesus Christ, His Son, as Savior and Lord.

Uh … okay, that makes sense. And now we come to the end:

Hopefully you have already made this decision and are actively serving Him. If not, you need to know that even though He loves you, He will not force Himself on you. You must choose to open the door and invite Him in (Revelation 3:20). You can make that decision today — in fact, this very moment! The time is definitely coming when you will no longer have the opportunity. It could happen much sooner than you realize. Think about it!

There may still be time to get control of yourself, dear reader. All your cells and bones and things need to be governed. Heed the rev’s advice.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #447: Anatomical Anarchy

  1. Your body contains such an awe-inspiring world that that it must be governed. Every organization or group must have structure or it will collapse. No nation can exist and prosper if its internal affairs are controlled by outside influences. A community that is not controlled is soon controlled by anarchists. Misrule becomes the rule. That is as true of a human body as it is of an entire nation.

    And here we get to the meat of the matter: what creationists really want is power. While babbling on about the body, the good reverend slides in the message that the body politic must be ruled by the “right people.” No outside influences (guess God doesn’t count as “outside”)–meaning of course, no Communists, no Muslims, no idol-worshipping Catholics, and of course no Christ-killers. Fundamentalist Protestant Republicans only, please.

  2. Well! ‘A community that is not controlled is soon controlled by anarchists. Misrule becomes the rule.’ is BS as this dim one thinks that nature as a whole thinks & acts as badly as he does. Too many dims have accepted the ‘survival of the Fittest’ as meaning the ‘biggest-meanest-Ahole is the winner’ when it has been shown to anyone who STUDIES nature that this is mostly untrue.

  3. Ceteris Paribus

    The Rev.Advises: There is within your physical body a microcosm of mankind.

    Possibly that is common in the group he hangs out with. But most of us were taught that washing our hands before eating was an effective precaution to reduce the chances of acquiring a human microcosm.

  4. Garnetstar

    The Rev thinks your body is more complex than the US government?

    Some would beg to differ.

  5. Eddie Janssen

    He created each human being in His spiritual image and housed that likeness within a physical body.
    As all humans are sinners, right from birth, does this mean that God is a sinner too?

  6. Eddie Janssen

    Oeps, forgot ” and ” in the first sntence.

  7. you and I were created by a loving and thoughtful God

    And my, by now automatic, reaction is whether this is “Scientific Storkism”.

    Does the rev complaining about the scientific account for each of our births?

    Or does the rev think that God concentrated his love and thoughtfulness on creating the species Homo sapiens, rather than on each one of us. (Isn’t that something like “Universalism”?)

  8. It was rather disappointing that the good Reverend didn’t see fit to lecture on the necessity of preserving the purity of our vital fluids. 😉

  9. “I choose to believe that you and I were created by a loving and thoughtful God.”
    This choice may be OK with you, SC, but in my absolutely not humble opinion said god was either not exactly loving or not exactly thoughtful, given the many flaws in the human design.

    “Have you ever given serious thought to what a marvelous and miraculous creation you are — physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?”
    Yes. I’m not impressed. Neither are these people:

    http://io9.com/the-most-unfortunate-design-flaws-in-the-human-body-1518242787
    http://www.health24.com/Lifestyle/Man/Your-body/5-body-flaws-20120721

    “And did you ever suspect that your body is is a microcosm of mankind?”
    Makes me wonder where in my body and or mind I can find a small Sensuous Curmudgeon – assuming he is part of said mankind as well.

    “not just as a physical being but also as a spiritual being.”
    How exactly does this makes sense? I don’t see it.

    “He will not force Himself on you.”
    Reverend, I give you permission to thank your god for this. I can’t, for obvious reasons.

  10. mnb0 contemplates: “the many flaws in the human design.”

    The reason your colon rebels against you is because you must surrender control, as the rev so wisely advises.

  11. docbill1351

    My body is like the US House: infrastructure is going to pot, nothing’s getting done, sleeps a lot, drinks too much, prone to rants (especially kids on my lawn) … Yeah, the Rev is on to something.

  12. docbill1351 says: “My body is like the US House: infrastructure is going to pot, nothing’s getting done …”

    You’re in much better shape than Megalonyx — wherever he is. Rumor (or rumour) has it that he’s like the whole US government — horrendously bloated, unceasingly boastful, incapable of performing any task, makes rude noises, and is universally jeered.

  13. Yeah, but Megalonyx hasn’t sued Obama yet.

  14. Make that “hasn’t sued Obama yet.” Thanks, oh Great Voice.

    [*Voice from above*] As you wish.

  15. So this god had tonsils and gall bladder removed? Needs trifocals? Takes medication for hypertension and a seizure disorder? That’s what he did to my body.

  16. Revver D.E. Parkerson parks up the wrong tree—

    “Hopefully you … are actively serving [Jesus]. If not, you need to know that even though He loves you, He will not force Himself on you.”

    Maybe so, but that’s never given his devotees pause to exercise similar restraint — as this Revver’s letter quite clearly demonstrates.