Creationist Wisdom #451: Chuck Norris

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Amarillo Globe-News of Amarillo, Texas. It’s titled: Don’t block faith, freedom.

We don’t like to embarrass people (unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures), so we usually omit the writer’s full name and city. But there’s no problem with this one. The letter-writer (or guest columnist) is Chuck Norris, who needs no introduction. We’ll give you a few excerpts, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

He spends the first half of the column on the tale of a student in a Connecticut high school who discovered that his school’s internet service blocked him from visiting conservative websites like the National Rifle Association, the Republican Party, the National Right to Life website, and even the Vatican. But he was allowed to freely access pro-gun-control websites, the Democratic Party website, the Planned Parenthood website, an LGBT website, and an Islamic website.

We agree with Chuck that this was flat-out wrong. But that’s not what concerns us here. Then he says:

True education doesn’t fear alternative views or even falsehoods, though they should be couched in age-appropriateness and a venue where options are presented with evidence. At least, that was the educational belief of our founding fathers.

No problem so far, although we’re dubious about falsehoods. But get this:

Consider alone the words of one of the greatest American minds and educators and one of the pillars of our republic, Thomas Jefferson, who vehemently fought for the broad education of common Americans. As he founded the University of Virginia, he wrote this about his philosophy and goal of education on Dec. 26, 1820: “This institution of my native state, the hobby of my old age, will be based on the illimitable freedom of the human mind, to explore and to expose every subject susceptible of (its) contemplation.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Jefferson created the University of Virginia to be a secular institution. Wikipedia says:

Other universities of the day allowed only three choices of specialization: Medicine, Law, and Religion, but under Jefferson’s guidance, the University of Virginia became the first in the United States to allow specializations in such diverse fields as Astronomy, Architecture, Botany, Philosophy, and Political Science. An even more controversial direction was taken for the new university based on a daring vision that higher education should be completely separated from religious doctrine.

Jefferson even went so far as to ban the teaching of Theology altogether. In a letter to Thomas Cooper in October 1814, Jefferson stated, “a professorship of theology should have no place in our institution” and, true to form, the University never had a Divinity school; it was established independent of any religious sect.

Chuck didn’t do too well with that. Here’s the end of his column, and it’s the best part:

An open education is about presenting every side of the coin. That is why teaching about “intelligent design” and religion should be an integral part of every curriculum. There is also no doubt about this: When we fear alternative views to the extent that we eliminate them, we have reduced education to nothing more than tyranny and indoctrination.

Good luck, Chuck. But don’t count on Mr. Jefferson to help you with that one.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #451: Chuck Norris

  1. Oh, Chuck. Stick with roundhouse kicks and B-list websites on how awesome you are. Leave the education to those who truly are not afraid of “alternative views”, mmm-kay?

  2. Chuck, would you like to have economics classes feature Marxism on equal terms with capitalism? Or have astronomy classes teach geocentrism as a reasonable alternative? No? Didn’t think so.

    The problem is that there really, truly are facts in the world. The sun doesn’t revolve around the earth, and treating the idea that it does as legitimate is a disservice to society. Likewise, creationists have lost their argument. They had a heavy advantage in 1859, when The Origin of Species came out, but the actual evidence just kept piling up on the other side, and has continued to do so. “Intelligent design” isn’t based on any new evidence; it’s a rhetorical scam crafted to get around court rulings that overt teaching of Genesis in public school science classes is unconstitutional and that “creation science” as originally presented is a mere fig leaf, s to speak, for Genesis. Teaching “intelligent design” as science debases the meaning of science.

  3. How sad that so many Americans don’t understand what belongs in a philosophy class versus a science class. Because science commands so much respect in our society—for good reasons—Chuck Norris naturally wants to see his ideas situated in a course where he thinks, wrongly, that they will earn the most respect.

    Of course, that is why Ken Ham keeps complaining that scientists have “hijacked” the word “science” and have allegedly redefined it improperly. (You know, that modernist, atheistic, “scientific method” stuff.) He wants to return to the ancient definition of “science” based on the Latin “scientia”, knowledge. That definition would allow Ken and Chuck to pretend that absolutely anything they want can be identify as “science”—-and thereby pick up the prestige of science by osmosis.

    When you ain’t got evidence on your side, propaganda and P.R. tricks is all you’ve got to work with.

  4. Chuck Norris? Really? Does anyone with an I.Q. greater than a grey squirrel really care what Chucky pretends to think?

  5. @Waldteufel: Don’t pick on grey squirrels. I’ll bet you couldn’t remember where you’re nuts are buried nearly as well as a squirrel can.

  6. I remember reading that Chuck Norris was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After three days of writhing agony and hard suffering, the snake died.

  7. And don’t forget athletics: where football and basketball is won by the lowest scores (this is an arbitrary decision by who knows who), as is the case for golf and track. No ban on Calvin Ball.

  8. Chuck Norris doesn’t believe in Evolution. Evolution believes in Chuck Norris.

  9. Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the Earth until it admitted it was only 6,000 years old.

  10. Chuck Norris! When I still had a beard my pupils thought he looked so much like me that I called him my twin brother. Never mind that he is 23 years older.
    It looks like he lags a bit behind qua education though.

  11. Before Chuck Norris reads a biology textbook, the book places a warning sticker on itself.

  12. Chuck Norris breeds Precambrian rabbits.

  13. God said, “Let there be light!” And Chuck Norris said, “Say ‘please’.”

  14. Doesn’t surprise me, Chuck Norris was a big supporter of theocrat Mike Huckabee’s losing 2008 presidential bid.

  15. The tracks at the Paluxy river are from Chuck Norris walking his pet dinosaur.

    It was a duck and a crocodile until Chuck Norris kicked them together.

    The Intelligent Designer OK’d his plans with Chuck Norris first.

    Chuck Norris said, “I can’t see a damned thing, we need some light.”
    God said, “OK.”

    This stuff just writes itself. 😉

  16. There is no theory of evolution. There are only animals that Chuck Norris has allowed to live.