Rev. David Rives Proves Noah’s Flood

Everything suddenly went crazy around here. There were blaring sirens and flashing lights! We knew what it was. The Drool-o-tron™ was calling us. The blinking letters of its wall display said WorldNetDaily (WND), and our computer was locked onto WND’s presentation of the latest video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries.

WND’s headline is Stunning fossils back Genesis account, and their subtitle is “David Rives travels to remote location for evidence of biblical catastrophe.”

The actual title of the video is Polystrate Fossils: Upright Fossil Trees are Evidence of Catastrophe, and this one isn’t the rev’s usual 90-second video. It goes on for five — yes, five! — exciting, spiritually-satisfying minutes.

Not only that, but you get to see the rev in his Indiana Jones outfit. He’s out in the field, fossil hunting again. What a guy! There’s so much more to the rev than just being a cute bible-boy.

We won’t spoil things for you. You gotta watch the video. Then, if you want to see what those wicked science people say about such fossils, you might take a look at this from TalkOrigins: “Polystrate” Tree Fossils, or this at Wikipedia: Polystrate fossil. But don’t be fooled. That’s the devil talking, trying to lure you into the Lake of Fire.

Go ahead, click over to WND and take a look. Nothing will ever be the same again.

As we always do with the rev’s videos, we dedicate the comments section for your use as an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. You know the rules. Okay, the comments are open. Go for it!

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “Rev. David Rives Proves Noah’s Flood

  1. The Talk Origins Archive article, posted almost two decades ago, pretty much demolishes Rives argument, as does the work TO quotes from Dawson, a century and a half ago. I guess if your view of reality is based, as the revRives’ is, on bronze and iron age myths, you don’t think you need to keep up on the literature to avoid appearing stupid.

  2. In the spirit of the Free Fire zone, I urge you to consider these two seemingly unrelated stories from PhysOrg: First, out of the blue, this revelation comes to light: New geoglyphs found in Nazca desert after sandstorm.

    And then, ominously, Big moon rising: Go and have a look, but don’t be fooled into thinking it’s all that super.

    Think about it. Newly discovered geoglyphs and another Supermoon! Is this just a coincidence? That’s what we’ll be told by the authorities, to avoid panic. But it’s obviously a clear signal that The End Is Nigh!

  3. >”The End Is Nigh!”

    Oh no, not again!

  4. Isn’t it amazing how clean and tidy the Good Rev remains despite all that digging? Even on a rainy day! And he risks his life while crossing a fast running watercourse! Yup, the Good Rev is my hero again. He is almost as badass as John Cena in The Marine.

    From 1:20 till 1:40.

    Yup, the Good Rev is sharp again. Listen to this irrefutable statement: “Even most atheists and geologists will admit that ……” Those guys from TalkOrigins SC is so foolishly linking to are just fringe.

  5. With Revver Rives’ irrepressible zest for shotgunning the most abjectly juvenile drivel, methinks The End must stop this Nigh thing and actually get here ’cos it would be something of a relief…

  6. Still, he’s not as dumb as Eric Hovind saying that a Florida hurricane washing away surface sand proved that the Grand Canyon could be dug out in 3 days.

  7. This video is so typical of creationists. Now, not only does Rives believe he knows more about Astronomy than professional astronomers but is also convinced that he has greater expertise in Geology than professional geologists do.

    If Rives had any credentials in any natural science I am sure we would have heard all about them by now. He thinks buying a $20,000 telescope makes him an astronomer when it actually requires many years of intense study of Math and Physics and experience doing research using the largest observatory telescopes. Now he is trying to convince us that driving to an abandoned coal mine and a short walk through the woods to see a fossil makes him a geologist. My eldest son who is an undergraduate in college double majoring in Physics and Geology has to take Geology courses that require camping out in remote locations for weeks at a time in order to begin to get some of the experience in the field that a real geologist needs.

  8. Charles Deetz ;)

    Complements of RWW, we find out that Rick Joyner is onto the scam of evolution, because horses and donkeys produce mules. Its utterly ridiculous he says:

    Maybe he’s been watching too many dRivel videos.

  9. When I look at the rev all dressed up like what he thinks a field geologist looks like, I remember the drugstore cowboys of my childhood.

    As ridiculous as the rev looks and sounds when he strokes the fossil tree and prattles on about his imaginary sky daddy flooding the entire earth, I must confess that Eric Hovind remains, for me at least, the gold standard of stupidity.

  10. I went intellectually slumming earlier today, and I noticed that at the AiG website they are trumpeting the arrival of the first earth moving equipment that will prepare the ground for their big pretend boat.
    Could it be that this monstrosity will really be built after all? I was hoping that this thing would die, but it looks like Hambo will keep this particular beast alive.

  11. waldteufel: if it ever gets built, perhaps there will be a, hopefully local, flood that demonstrates to the most credulus that the ark is unseaworthy. I hope all the animals on board are plastic and no animal is injured in the demonstration.

  12. Maybe Kentucky’s unseaworthy zoo-in-a-wooden-box will be to Kanny Humbug what the monster was to Dr Frankenstein — or, perhaps more aptly, the seagull to the ancient mariner.

  13. I hope all the animals on board are plastic and no animal is injured in the demonstration.

    Aren’t there animal protection laws, and restrictions on keeping wild animals?

    I suppose that regulations are lax enough that they could keep caged up the 7 hens and 7 roosters.

  14. Er, excuse me. There were no chickens on the Ark. There were phasianids (the family which includes chickens, pheasants, and peacocks and peahens), as an approximation to the “kind”. Species were a product of post-Ark super-micro-evolution. I wonder how one can find 7 pairs of phasianids today.

  15. @SK analyses wrongly: “He thinks buying a $20,000 telescope makes him an astronomer.”
    No, the Good Rev is way too smart for this. No, the Good Rev knows that spending the money he receives from his admirers (I’m only a fan, though a big one, on the condition that he keeps on producing stuff like this video) for buying that telescope makes him look like an astronomer in the eyes of his admirers. Isn’t he genius?

  16. There’s no David Rives there, but the New Yorker’s archives are free for the summer and they have a hundred articles on ‘creationism’.