This is where we find out if you’ve got what it takes. Do you have the courage to put your thinking out there for all to see? You know what we’re getting at, don’t you?
Yes, it’s time, dear reader, for another Creative Challenge. But first, you need to be stimulated. Therefore, we remind you of all the intellectual thrills we’ve provided in the past. Our earlier contests were: #1 (Creationism is to evolution as ___ is to ____), followed by #2 (The typical Discoveroid’s next job will be _____), and then #3 (The Discoveroids are the dregs of _____), and then #4 (The creationists’ biggest lie is _____), and then #5 (Can _____ be defended using only scientific terms?, and then #6 (What shall we call a creationist toilet camera?), and then #7 (Credible evidence for the intelligent designer’s existence would be: ____), and then #8 (Devise an acronym — the individual letters of which are the initial letters of words that disparage the Discoveroids’ theory), and then #9 (The only thing less interesting than news of the Discoveroids’ Censor of the Year is ____), and then #10 (The expression that best describes the Discoveroids or their “science” or their methods is _____ ), and most recently #11 (X and Y are related phenomena. Therefore _______).
Today’s challenge is inspired by the totality of our experience documenting and ridiculing creationism in all its forms — young Earth, old Earth, total Genesis, modified Genesis, no Genesis, etc. We have often read something written by a creationist and thought to ourselves: Could anything be more obviously wrong than this? For example, consider the Discoveroids’ definition of intelligent design: Certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection.
That’s the setup for today’s challenge, dear reader. Let’s see if you can come up with something better (i.e., dumber) than that. We’re looking for something so contrary to reality, so lacking in evidence, and so absolutely untestable that only the brain-dead would even consider it, let alone accept it.
The form of the challenge is that in one sentence, you must tell us:
A successful entry should be self-explanatory, but it’s quite all right to elaborate on your proposals. To get your creative juices flowing, we’ll offer one example of something even more illogical and contrary to reality than creationism: Experience teaches us that everyone is happiest if he isn’t allowed to think.
You know the rules: You may enter the contest as many times as you wish, but you must avoid profanity, vulgarity, childish anatomical analogies, etc. Also, avoid slanderous statements about individuals. Feel free to comment on the entries submitted by others — with praise, criticism, or whatever — but you must do so tastefully.
Your Curmudgeon will decide if there’s a winner, and whenever we get around to it we’ll announce who the winner is. There is no tangible prize — as always in life’s great challenges, the accomplishment is its own reward. We now throw open the comments section, dear reader. Go for it!
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