Creationist Wisdom #462: Six Days

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in The Tribune of Elkin, North Carolina (population 4,001). It’s titled When is the ‘beginning’ really the beginning?

We don’t embarrass letter-writers by using their full names, unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures. We thought this one was from a preacher, because his letter appears in a section of the paper headed “The Preacher’s Corner,” but when we looked for him all we found with his name in his area was a construction company owner. Oh, wait — he’s also a preacher. His name is Chris Caudill.

Hey — we’ve written about one of the rev’s letters before — Creationist Wisdom #421: Other Worlds. Welcome back, rev! We’ll give you a few excerpts from his latest letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

In Genesis 1:1 we read the following … “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.”

Wow! Why didn’t anyone ever tell us that before? This is great stuff. The rev then says:

Because of the claims of long ages by those in the scientific community who study origins, there are many church goers who read this Scripture and ask “When was the beginning?” There have been many creative theories developed to fit millions and billions of years into the Bible, in order to harmonize the Bible with evolution.

What fools! Let’s read on:

On one hand you have evolutionists telling us the beginning was billions of years ago, while on the other hand, the Bible through a literal interpretation of both Genesis and other relevant Scriptures, teaches us the beginning was only about 6,000 years ago.

The bible says that? Ah, the rev explains it:

It doesn’t say the words “God created 6,000 years ago,” but it gives us an account of about 4,000 years of history from the beginning until when Jesus was crucified, and it has now been over 2,000 years since then. So 4,000 plus 2,000, equals 6,000.

The math is right! This is amazing news. The rev continues:

Since some people claim you can fit billions of years into the Bible, then how do we know from the Bible which age is correct? Billions or thousands? Let’s use the light of God’s Word … .

Skipping some bible stuff, we told:

Let’s clarify what this means. What is “the beginning?” It is the beginning of “time.” What did God create in the beginning of time? The heaven and the earth. When was the beginning? When God began creating the heaven and the earth. So “time” began at the moment God spoke the heaven and earth into existence. In other words, the clock started rolling with the beginning of the heaven and the earth.

Sounds reasonable. We’ll skip a lot more bible stuff, because we trust that the rev is reading it properly. What we want are the results:

Now if the gap theory were true, then there are some serious problems in regards to God’s character, trustworthiness and His Word. For example, if there truly were a gap of billions of years in between Genesis 1:1 and Genesis 1:2, then this would cast some serious doubt upon the trustworthiness of the Word of God, since He “said” He did it in six days. If there were billions of years sandwiched in there, then one could legitimately argue that God lied about the time frame with which He created all things.

God lied? That’s impossible! Here’s more:

In other words, why did He say He did it in six regular days, if in fact He did it over billions of years?

There’s no answer to that. Moving along:

With a God who is consistently Holy, consistently perfect and consistent in everything and every way, who does nothing in a way that would cause people to legitimately argue against His integrity, then it would seem that He would have explained in His Word that there was a much larger time frame involved during the creation process, instead of just saying He did it in only 6 days.

The rev’s logic is undeniable. He has more to say, and he also gives us the exciting news that he’s making a movie, which will be named “A Matter of Faith.” He’s looking for some financial support. It sounds like a worthy cause. But this is where we have to end this post. We hope you’ve learned as much from the rev as we did.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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24 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #462: Six Days

  1. Hopefully one day it will dawn on such literalists that God did not write Genesis nor any other book. And if they demand a literal interpretation, they need go no further than Genesis 2 before they have big problems. Even before that there are significant problems, as in Genesis 1:26 – “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness,….” A Hamite ‘straightforward reading’ of scripture would have to conclude that there is more than one god.

  2. Them there’s Genesis 6:4 and the “sons of God,” plural.

  3. Doctor Stochastic

    It also took Dave Dudley Six Days on the Road to make it home from Pittsburgh. Evidence of something.

  4. And there is dissent about the best translation of Genesis 1:1. See Wikipedia
    Genesis creation narrative#Pre-creation: Genesis 1:1-2

  5. Probably evidence that Dave Dudley was popping too many little white pills…

  6. Christians wouldn’t have such a tough time of it if they based their theology on the teachings of Jesus, as opposed to his divinity, and just left the whole question of origins unanswered. We wouldn’t have to put up with Ham’s idiocy, nor the attempts of the DI to get creationism into the public schools, nor the denial of evolution, etc., etc. As a bonus, they would gain much respect.

    But, hey — who am I to tell them how to run their religion? (The fact that some of the regulars on this blog insist on calling me “Pope RSG” notwithstanding, I ain’t no pope. That whole thing got started when I wrote, “If David Rives is an ordained minister, then I’m the pope.” He’s not. So I’m not.)

  7. Where in the whole bible does it say ” He did it in six regular days?” That’s a copy and paste quote from the article.

  8. michaelfugate

    RSG, It is always a slippery slope with moralists – first evolution, then divorce, then birth control, then abortion, then…then… are the pearls clutched?….atheism. And of course we would then all be nihilists and commit suicide and who would clean up the mess? No, no can’t go there.

  9. Probably he’s not making that movie but he’s trying to get it shown in his area. Answers In Genesis has been pushing it.

  10. I’m beginning to get the hang of the rev’s reasoning about the length of those seven days. When my wife tells me she’ll be with me in a couple of moments and it turns out to be more like half an hour, I should realize that it’s my watch that’s wrong.

  11. The rev here shows himself to be both biblically and scientifically ignorant. The guy is just another small town southern redneck preacher man with the mental acumen of a squirrel. Meh.

    A battle of wits with this bible-thumping clown would be like dueling with an unarmed man.

  12. Jesus was crucified over 2000 years ago? That puts the crucifixion in 13 CE at the earliest. Time to rewrite the history books!

  13. Jack, the “six regular days” is kind of implied by “And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day.” ….. “And the evening and the morning were the sixth day.”

    If those were billion-year days, we would have to explain how plants survived millions of years of darkness.

  14. Pete Moulton

    Actually, David, we wouldn’t have to explain that. He would.

  15. Well retiredguy “teachings of Jesus, as opposed to his divinity’ the teachings of jesus are not that great or inspired except from the lame jews point of view. Most of what he taught that was any good is just plain smart (don’t kill people for working or making a spark on sabbath) or stolen from others. Most of the sermon on the mount is silly.
    If the gawd is so OMNI-everything why did it take 6days??? and not just instantly???? And he had to rest??? That’s one pooped gawd!!!! And after observing gawd’s various creations, it is obvious that he was completely incompetent as a designer and as a builder. Its too bad gawd doesn’t exist cuz than I could sue his butt for incompetence.

  16. If they were regular days, one would have to explain how there were three of them before there was a Sun in the firmament. (Hat tip to Origen.)

  17. Even with the day-age theory, there are serious problems. For one, God creates the Earth first, a couple of “days” before he creates the sun and stars. In fact, light itself appears on the first day, before the sun and stars are created. It’s as if Genesis was written by pre-scientific people who didn’t quite understand the nature of light.

    Likewise, land plants, including grass and flowering plants, appear before any other life is created, which is contrary to what we know from the fossil record, but would make sense to a primitive writer that would view plants as the most primitive form of life, and probably the first to be created. Things which were unknown to people of biblical times, including micro-organisms, don’t seem to have been created at all in the Genesis myths. Extinct creatures do not appear in the bible, Hambo’s assertions notwithstanding, nor do other animals unknown to the middle east and north Africa. The book reads exactly as one would expect it to if written by local tribesmen, based on what they knew of the world. It doesn’t read at all like a book might that was dictated by an omniscient being.

    The Rev needs to tackle those issues and not worry about the length of time involved.

  18. @Ed
    Or, the text was composed for an audience which was used to non-literal accounts. Indeed, non-linear accounts.

  19. “On one hand you have evolutionists telling us the beginning was billions of years ago”
    Really, how long does it take a creationist to go off the rails? No rev, evolutions don’t tell that. They don’t care about the beginning. Cosmologists do. They are physicists and don’t study evolution.

    @RSG: that’s basically what most Dutch christians do.

  20. Even if you accept the buyBull acount, the time to genesis is way less then 6000yrs. In fact according to the buyBull there is so little time that it did not make sense to the incompetent monk that worked it out. So he solved the problem by inventing the BS that certain named characters had to have lived for a VERY VERY VERY very long time.

  21. @L.Long
    I don’t know where you got this from, for it has several mistakes. The famous name, Ussher, attached to the 4004 B.C. date, was neither incompetent nor a monk, and did not invent long lifetimes.

  22. Could be Tom I always heard it was a monk.
    So Adam did live 900yrs and Noah too???
    How was this determined?

  23. @ L.Long: the impossible lifespans attributed to Noah & company all have Biblical sources, e.g. Genesis 9:28-29:

    And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
    And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.

    And see also: James Ussher, Archbishop of Armagh (1581-1656)

  24. @L.Long
    And Ussher was not a monk: he married and had a daughter.
    I suspect that you are thinking of the monk Dionysius Exiguus who thought up the “Common Era”, or “A.D.”, in about the year 525.
    I can’t think of what “so little time” might be in reference to. Except that D.E. had worked out a year of Jesus’ birth which is generally reckoned as impossible by 4 years or so – that explains the 4004 B.C. of Ussher.