Creationist Wisdom #463: The View from Wales

We’ve had several complaints lately, all saying: “Hey, Curmy — how come you never write about anything from Wales?” Well, okay. Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears at WalesOnline, the publisher of several Welsh newspapers. They’re located in Cardiff, the capital. Is that Welsh enough? The letter is titled Values are rooted in Christianity (it’s the second letter at that link).

We don’t embarrass letter-writers by using their full names, unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures. We can’t figure out who this guy is, and he doesn’t even use his first name. His first two initials are RH, so that’s what we’ll call him. We’ll give you a few excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

There has been a call for “British values” to be taught in our schools, with the current Education Secretary Nicky Morgan pushing for “British values” to be added to the early years curriculum.

He’s referring to something we wrote about recently — UK Bans Tax-Funded Creationist Nursery Schools. We were wondering when we’d hear from someone who opposed that policy. RH then says:

Ms Morgan is quoted as saying that “there can be no place for extreme views anywhere in the education system.” I gather that one example of extremism would be to teach that the human race is the result of special creation rather than a “molecules to man” evolutionary process.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! “Molecules to man” is a favorite phrase of ol’ Hambo. The infection has spread to Wales. Let’s read on:

It seems to me that to teach impressionable young minds the theory of evolution as fact while incontrovertible proof of it is lacking, is as extreme as it gets!

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We love this guy! He continues:

The founder of the Christian faith, Jesus Christ, was no evolutionist.

Perhaps not. However, there is a section of the New Testament that is entirely compatible with natural selection. We wrote about it here: Is Evolution in the Bible? (Part 2). Back to the letter:

He referred to the Biblical creation account as history. [Scripture references] and so did His disciples. Special creation is foundational to a logical Gospel message.

That too is Hambo’s position on things. RH is a worthy disciple. Moving along:

If British values is to mean anything at all, surely it must be linked with Christianity; since it is our Christian heritage which has been at the root of what is good and honourable in this country, and upon which its laws were established.

We won’t bother to present a list of the numerous religious conflicts that have … ah, enlivened British history. Nor will we mention non-religious influences that have been entirely beneficial. Okay, we’ll make an exception for the Scottish Enlightenment. It’s obvious to anyone who has read even a minimal amount of history that there’s considerably more to Great Brittan than religion.

Here’s the very predictable end of the RH letter:

So before we instruct our schoolchildren in British values perhaps we should first ensure that they are conversant with the true source of these values.

There you have it, dear reader. RH says that we should teach Oogity Boogity first. Then everything will fall into place. Great idea, RH!

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41 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #463: The View from Wales

  1. Our Curmudgeon reports

    We’ve had several complaints lately, all saying: “Hey, Curmy — how come you never write about anything from Wales?”

    Let’s be completely accurate here, please. I am sure that the actual complaints were along the lines of

    Hey, Curmy – pam ydych nad ydych erioed wedi ysgrifennu am unrhyw beth o Gymru?

  2. Where is this Great Brittan place mentioned near the end of your article?

  3. About the only way for a Brit to get a great tan is to travel abroad; say, to Florida.

  4. Great scot! asks: “Where is this Great Brittan place mentioned near the end of your article?”

    How would I know? I’m an American.

  5. Before I poke a little fun let me just say that I spent 3 years I Wales as a US Navy jody at RAF Brawdy . I’ve never had more fun. The people were great and the country side was beautiful. I’m from Indiana and it was more like moving across town than across the ocean. You must be an old Druid to be able to even spell Welsh that well. That’s something I never could get the hang of. The street signs all seemed like someone just took a handful of alphabet and threw it at the sign and whatever stuck was what it was. How did the IDer ever come up with somrthing as beautifully imperfect as Wales.

  6. The founder of the Christian faith, Jesus Christ, was no evolutionist.

    That line on its own has gotta be worth the entrance fee.

    And, you know what? He wasn’t a nuclear physicist either.

  7. michaelfugate

    Christian heritage …. upon which its laws were established.

    Not convinced the Magna Carta and subsequent repeals were much based in Christianity. I am still looking for the passages Jesus expounded on Forest Law – but surely RH wouldn’t be making stuff up, would he?

  8. The founder of the Christian faith, Jesus Christ, was no evolutionist.

    So what? Likely Jesus didn’t believe the Earth revolved around the sun, either. Nobody did, back then. That doesn’t mean it isn’t so.

    Creationist comments like this one only go to show how desperate these people are. Saying that “Jesus didn’t believe” in something is a classic example of an irrelevant appeal to authority.

    For that matter, how do we actually know what Jesus believed? He invoked the Old Testament in preaching to Jews because that was what they would understand, but that doesn’t mean he, personally, believed every word of it. He probably did, of course–but not necessarily in the same way his first-century Jewish listeners did, or his modern readers do.

  9. michaelfugate

    If Jesus were truly God, then he would know – not believe – how the universe actually worked. He would know Genesis is rubbish.

  10. I wonder if “British Values” could include Harry Potter. A recent crime victim quoted professor Dumbledore and got a special note and wand from author J.K. Rowling. I was thinking, good thing she didn’t quote the Bible–she would have gotten jack squat!

  11. In an earlier comment I said I was from Indiana and moving to Wales for a few years was more like moving across town than across the ocean. This clown’s letter serves to point out one of the reasons, unfortunately.

  12. Eric it is even worse than “Saying that “Jesus didn’t believe” in something is a classic example of an irrelevant appeal to authority.”
    Its not even that valid cuz we have NO IDEA what if anything jesus said as the only records we have is “I writing this because I believe my 3rd uncle’s great G’Pa said that his cousin heard jesus say……” So this guy just made something up about something somebody else made up about what somebody may or may not have said.

  13. Full British values?
    Bangers, rain, odd cars, 30 pound sterling lunches in tiny restaurants,
    beer.

  14. I’m an American, so I might have this all wrong, but isn’t science a British value? For some reason, the name Charles Darwin comes to mind…

  15. Doctor Stochastic

    Perhaps the author has failed to study the result of filling a hovercraft with eels.

  16. realthog: “He [Jesus] wasn’t a nuclear physicist either.”

    Yeah, but since he was God, he coulda been. (Very funny line, BTW.)

    And y’know, since he was God and all, he coulda told us all about the earth being round, and about North & South America being across the ocean, and laid out the Periodic Table, and how to build an electric generator, and all about medicine and antibiotics, but noooo — he kept it all to himself, and let millions of innocent children die from curable diseases, or starve to death for lack of knowledge of sound agricultural methods, or….

    Well, you get the picture. Hell, it’s almost enough to make you wonder if he really was god, y’know?

  17. A tip o’ the hat to michaelfugate as well for starting me on that roll.

  18. Is no one else tormented by the thought of what will happen next month if the Scots vote to remove themselves from the United Kingdom? Picture the Union Jack, the flag under which my glorious ancestors (Cedric the Pigman and William the Vacant) fought and died. It consists of the blue diagonal cross of Scotland, the red diagonal cross of Ireland, and the red cross of England’s St. George. What will it look like if the blue and white parts have to be removed? And what if Wales is the next to go, taking their leeks with them? These are troubling times.

  19. Troy ponders:

    I wonder if “British Values” could include Harry Potter.

    Definitely. Britain was founded on pagan values (think: Stonehenge, or maybe The Wicker Man. Christianity’s a relatively recent import, not really significant until Augustine (of Canterbury, not Hippo) arrived from Rome in 597 AD and converted King Ethelbert.

    Some of us are still resisting such innovations…

  20. Jill Smith asks

    Is no one else tormented by the thought of what will happen next month if the Scots vote to remove themselves from the United Kingdom?

    Yes, I am so tormented! Seriously. I have much sympathy for Scots who are fed up with a political union dominated by the Sassenachs–but as one who dwells in the Land of the Engs, I dread what a Former United Kingdom (I daren’t use the acronym lest it snags on the profanity filter) would likely to become without the steadying influence of the Caledonians.

    It really would be ‘Little England’ (because no one takes the Welsh seriously), and would be a political fiefdom of either UKIP or the very worst backwoods wing of the Tories. Yeeuuucchh!

  21. Jill Smith further asks about the fate of the Union flag if Scotland departs:

    What will it look like if the blue and white parts have to be removed?

    I have been proposing for some time that, in the event of Scotland departing the UK, we might welcome back some of the American colonies–if they repent of 1776 and are truly of contrite heart. We could put a star on the revamped flag of the RUK (Reunited Kingdom) for each returned prodigal colony.

    But Louisiana, Texas, South Carolina, and no doubt others need not apply.

    There would be some terms to negotiate on this, granted. Switching all your road signs so you drive on the correct side will be a challenge, as will teaching folks how to queue properly. And persuading you that no one needs an Uzi–particularly not children–may be insurmountable…

  22. Dave Godfrey

    Retiredsciguy – I went travelling around Scotland a few months back, I’m quite impressed with the tan I got,

    As for ‘molecules-to-man evolution, I just don’t get it it. If we’re not made up of molecules, what are we composed of?

  23. Jill Smith is desparate: “Is no one else tormented by the thought of what will happen next month if the Scots vote to remove themselves from the United Kingdom?”
    Not me. But I’m Dutch.

    @Mega anticipates Scottish independence: the Dutch will appreciate the acronym RUK. It’s street language for male masturbating. When I call you RUKker you will know it’s an insult.

    @Dave Godfrey doesn’t get it: “what are we composed of?”
    Your dirty, black, doomed, atheist soul is definitely not made up of molecules.

  24. “Hey, Curmy — how come you never write about anything from Wales?”

    Well, probably because most of the Welsh are far too sensible, but it seems there’s always a few that slip through the net. RH appears to be one of them.

  25. mnbo notes:

    the Dutch will appreciate the acronym RUK. It’s street language for male [bleep bleep booped out].

    I’m afraid to ask, but…there’s a separate Dutch word for the female version of the sin of Onan?

    And on the subject of Dutch language, I am also on record for proposing a massive redistribution of vowels between Dutch–which uses too many–and Welsh, in which vowels are far too scarce, rendering both languages well nigh unpronounceable. But consolidating those two tongues into one (we could call it “Wutch”, or maybe “Delsh”) would be a great boon to human communication.

  26. No True Scotsman (or Welshman or Brit) could deny the Scottish Enlightenment hero David Hume, who was intelligent enough to deny creationism and ID before Darwin. He said that we simply didn’t know the answer yet of how species came into being. A truly rational guy, my favorite philosopher, and very brave. Exemplifies “British values”.

  27. Alternative (and more intelligible) Views from Whales

  28. Doctor Stochastic

    When Christianity came to the British Isles, it gave the English something to talk about, the Welsh something to sing about, the Irish something to fight about, and the Scots something for nothing.

  29. Doctor Stochastic: Hey, that’s good!

  30. Not quite ‘something for nothing’: the Scots ended up with John Knox, author of The First Blast of the Trumpet Against the Monstruous Regiment of Women and vector of no end of Calvinist dogma.

    And you overlooked Ulster, and all the similarly beneficent gifts of Christianity to that happy province…

  31. Correction: we’ll include Ulster in giving “the Irish something to fight about”, though it’s technically been an Irish vs. Scots battle for a few centuries now.

  32. Dave Godfrey

    If you lived in Penarth, and you looked across the Bristol Channel with a powerful set of binoculars, this is what you might see http://freethinker.co.uk/2014/08/26/saved-the-whale-with-a-biblical-message/

  33. Pete Moulton

    Megalonyx: “But Louisiana, Texas, South Carolina, and no doubt others need not apply.”

    Could we persuade you to take Kentucky and Hambo’s mind-boggling ‘museum’ and ark?

  34. Mega suffers from a curiosity that frightens him: “there’s a separate Dutch word for the female version of the sin of Onan?”
    Ambiguously. You could say “ze vingert zichzelf”. Replace the v with an f and you’ll understand, because according to my dictionary you English speaking people use the same term. Thing is of course that skilled male partners can pleasure women that way as well – that’s also called “vingeren”. For some reason “vingeren” is far less rude than “rukken” though.
    Thanks, but no thanks – we Dutch are fine with our vowels and our throat disease.

    http://www.livius.org/dutchhistory/language.html

    It’s because ” Dutch speakers aren’t usually willing to communicate in their language with a foreigner. A Dutchman will refuse to speak in Dutch,”

    http://www.antimoon.com/forum/t15919-15.htm

    Finally American women might benefit from a prolonged stay in The Netherlands according to this American woman:

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erin-farber/10-things-americans-can-l_b_1927417.html

    I won’t contradict here, especially not regarding point 10.

  35. Thanks to Mega’s excellent question it dawned upon me that we have stumbled upon the best creationist argument ever. Look at the shape of your index finger. Look how flexible it is, how easy you can bend it. Now consider the shape of the female pleasure organ. It is obvious that the Grand Old Designer has designed both with one specific goal in mind. It’s not to enable Adam and Eve to reproduce; in the Garden of Eden they had no need of it. Let’s face it: the male appendix dangling between his legs is so clumsy that it’s rather a punishment for Fall. No, the theological facts are crystal clear: Adam didn’t properly fulfill his duty to pleasure Eve. He didn’t use his index finger wisely, for the purpose the Grand Old Designer meant to. Out of frustration Eve began to suffer from boulimia, ate the apple and the rest is history.

  36. mnbo links to an article wherein it is noted

    Dutch speakers aren’t usually willing to communicate in their language with a foreigner. A Dutchman will refuse to speak in Dutch

    I can confirm this from my own experience, while working in the UK but for a Dutch company, with monthly meetings held in the Netherlands (and always conducted in English). I’m not at all a gifted linguist but have always made some effort to at least learn a little of the local language, if only out of politeness to my hosts. But in Holland I was told–and by more than one–to not attempt to learn Dutch, as the locals liked keeping that as their own channel of communication not available to foreigners.

    Of course, that made me more determined to learn a bit 🙂

  37. @David Godfrey: Well, since Scotland is still a part of the UK, you got a great Brit tan. (Which was my lame pun in the first place. Admittedly, a bit of a stretch [as are most of my puns]. )

    You also asked, “As for ‘molecules-to-man evolution … If we’re not made up of molecules, what are we composed of?”

    Ken Ham would say “Earth, wind, fire, and water.”

  38. @Meg-x: You chide the Dutch for their vowels, yet promote whale communication, which is practically all vowels…
    “Oooooouuuuuuiiiieeeeaaaaaaoooooooooooo! Eeeeeeeiiiiuuuh! Eeeeeeeiiiiuuuh!

  39. Ken Ham would say “Earth, wind, fire, and water.”

    . . . and the greatest of these is wind.

  40. michaelfugate

    A neologism for describing the Hamish intellect is vacumen or vacuumen – the correct spelling is still up in the air. Nature abhors thinking like his….

  41. I guess you wont be needing a creation museum after all.