Rev. David Rives: Six 24-Hour Days, No Gaps

You know how these things start. Blaring sirens and flashing lights! The Drool-o-tron™ was calling us. The blinking letters of its wall display said WorldNetDaily (WND), and our computer was locked onto WND’s presentation of the latest video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries.

WND’s headline is Did Jesus refute the ‘gap’ theory?, and their subtitle is “David Rives discusses common compromise between Bible, evolution.”

If you want some background on the gap theory, Wikipedia has an article on it: Gap creationism. They say:

[The “Gap Theory” is] a form of old Earth creationism that posits that the six-day creation, as described in the Book of Genesis, involved literal 24-hour days (light being “day” and dark “night” as God specified), but that there was a gap of time between two distinct creations in the first and the second verses of Genesis, explaining many scientific observations, including the age of the Earth. It differs from day-age creationism, which posits that the ‘days’ of creation were much longer periods (of thousands or millions of years), and from young Earth creationism, which although it agrees concerning the six literal 24-hour days of creation, does not posit any gap of time.

As you can imagine, the rev favors young Earth six-day creationism — and those are 24-hour days. No gaps, no nonsense. The actual title of the video is Mind the Gap! The Gap Theory According to Jesus. It’s the rev’s usual 90-second presentation, followed by a commercial. But 90 seconds is all the time the rev needs to give you a totally convincing argument.

Not only that, but you get to see the rev wearing a suit and a necktie. This performance is one of his bible-boy best. He’s so cute! You gotta watch the video!

Go ahead, click over to WND and take a look. Don’t pretend that you’re not going to watch it. We know you find the rev irresistible.

As we always do with the rev’s videos, we dedicate the comments section for your use as an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. You know the rules. Okay, the comments are open. Go for it!

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Rev. David Rives: Six 24-Hour Days, No Gaps

  1. Lewis Thomasonn

    The Rev and Hambone are one and the same,total idiots.

  2. Doesn’t he ever watch or at least listen to what he’s saying? Stupid question. If I were Jesus I would appear to him in one of these vids and tell him to stop all this insane BS or be struck by lightning on the spot but since I’m not I guess I’ll just scratch my and wonder why such a pretty boy wasn’t born a blond.

  3. Jesus likely took six-day creationism as literal fact. So what? Heretical as it may sound, Jesus was a man of his age; he took slavery for granted, too.

  4. Really, what difference does it make to us which myth the creationists think is correct? It’s truly sad that grown men & women actually believe these mythologies.

  5. Charles Deetz ;)

    Has the dear Rev seen Life of Brian, specifically when Brian loses his shoe? Monty Python is mocking you, Rev.

  6. Methinks the gap layeth between the ears of Reverend Rives.

  7. LT doesn’t get it: “The Rev and Hambone are one and the same,total idiots.”
    Totally not. In the first place The Good Rev is sexy (SC calls him cute, but that’s fundie language for sexy). Ol’ Hambo is definitely not. In the second place The Good Rev does science. That’s what he has a telescope for. Have you ever seen Ol’ Hambo with a telescope? Exactly.
    When he is in shape no one can beat The Good Rev. And he only needs 90s.

  8. Is he using Greenwich Mean Time, Solar Time, or Central Standard Time?

  9. Probably Indiana East time.

  10. Truly, the Drool-o-tron declares the gory of Rives…

  11. Dave Godfrey

    I’m prepared to give these 6-day literalists the benefit of the doubt. It makes them look even more idiotic.

  12. Rives takes a verse about divorce and quote-mines it to be a statement implying no gap between Genesis 1 and 2.

    A similar injunction against divorce using similar words appears in Mark, which is the probable source of the Matthew version. There is no reason to believe that whoever wrote Mark (a) knew what Jesus actually said, or (2) meant to reference the beginning of the universe as opposed to the creation of Adam and Eve. The unknown author of Mark had a message, which was that divorce has always (from the beginning) been forbidden, and those who do it and subsequently marry someone else commit adultery. That’s it.

    If Rives really believes that the bible is literally true, then he should be preaching against divorce – what Jesus was actually talking about in the Mark and Matthew stories – rather than quote mining them to preach about something completely unrelated.

  13. Okay, so a god who lives outside of space and time takes a week to do what should take no time at all and no one is the teensiest bit suspicious? Why a week? Why not seven seconds? And why does an omnipotent god need rest? Hello? Anyone in there got more than two brain cells?

  14. @SteveRuis
    Why does an omnipotent and omniscient Creator have to resort to contrivance, that is a design taking account of the possibilities of the materials given? Why be constrained by the world?
    Indeed, as “Necessity is the mother of invention”, what needed changing in the world in order for it to come up to the standards of the Creator?
    Where did that pre-design life come from?

  15. @Steve Ruis eagerly wants to know: “Why …? Why …? Why …?”
    But of course the Good Rev already has addressed this point. More info can be found here:

    Yup, we can rely on SC to give testimony of the Good Revs genius. I’m not entirely sure about the more than two brain cells question though.

  16. They have seven so that each of the six “regular” days of the week they only use one assigned brain cell and the seventh is a standby, if you will, in case one of the “regular” days cells fail and to perform any needed functions on the seventh day of rest such as pooping and peeing, etc.

  17. Yet another irreplaceable set of brain cells lost to a Rives video. Going going gone.