Creationist Wisdom #464: Scientists and Atheists

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Register-Herald of Beckley, West Virginia — proudly known as “The Gateway to Southern West Virginia.” The letter is titled Atheists are looking in the wrong place.

We don’t embarrass letter-writers by using their full names, unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures. We can’t figure out who this guy is, so we’ll use only his first name, which is Jerry. We’ll give you a few excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

I am not highly educated or even half-smart. To all those that believe in evolution I would like to ask, why did the process stop with our state of being as it is now? For example, why not eyes in the back of our head to see behind us, or even the ability to do without food or water? Why do we not keep evolving?

Jerry may not be educated, but he certainly knows how to ask probing questions. And not only about biology. He’s upset about cosmology too:

Those that believe in the Big Bang Theory. I have a rock in my driveway; can you give me universe out of it? (Probably not.)

Well, there goes the Big Bang theory! Let’s read on:

So many people will put so much faith in theories or beliefs of other men but find it so hard to believe in God’s word. Those who have faith in evolution or the Big Bang keep searching for the truth. They will not find it until they find God.

Note that Jerry regards “atheists” and “scientists” as if they were same thing. That’s the source of his profound insights. He continues:

I John 4:3 speaks of these people as being the spirits of the Antichrist.

Those infernal scientists! Here’s more:

Our prisons are full of those who turn their back on God’s word.

Really? We looked at the US Justice Department’s statistics on the characteristics of prisoners, both state and federal. They have data on prisoners’ race and gender, but we can’t find anything on the religious affiliation of the prison population. And there’s no clue as to the number of biologists, cosmologists, or other scientists in prison. Anyway, moving along:

Our country’s leaders are turning their back on God. I bet our forefathers would be very ashamed. When they devised the Constitution, they added the words, “One Nation Under God.” Why do we not govern with this in mind anymore?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Jerry has never read the Constitution. Nor has he seen our post on this subject: Is America a “Christian Nation”? But he’s got a lot of momentum going. Here’s the letter’s thundering climax:

In God We Trust is printed on our currency. But still our government officials rule to the contrary. In forgetting these beliefs, I think it is leading to the decay of this blessed country. There is no fear of the United States anymore. Could it be because there is a decline in the fear of the Lord?

Jerry has it all figured out, which is why his letter is such a fine addition to our collection.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

42 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #464: Scientists and Atheists

  1. “Why do we not keep evolving?” I can’t bring myself to write anything rude concerning the quote, although it may qualify for some sort of Not Even Wrong achievement award. If not, it’s possibly the funniest statement I’ll read this week. Should we be sprouting new features daily?

  2. Jerry:I am not highly educated or even half-smart.

    The rest of his letter follows that introduction.

  3. Hmm, Jerry seems wholly convinced that his god is on the US’s side — or would be if only Americans lived up to Jerry’s standards of behaviour. Jerry needs to demonstrate this, not just assume it.

    The good man should have stopped writing right after, “I am not highly educated or even half-smart.” That would’ve at least made for a mercifully short and truthful letter, albeit a dull one.

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    Basically, this guy wants people to believe in god. That’s fine, but he’s going about it all wrong. One of the hardest things a salesperson can do is compare their product to the competition … they think they sound smart, but the prospect usually already knows enough to determine if he is telling the truth.

  5. Kennard Walter

    He makes me ask in honor of another Jerry who made an entire career out of supposedly nothing. What’s up with that?
    Incidentally my daughter was convinced, and her friends too, that I did have eyes in the back of my head because I told them to stop doing what they were doing without looking at them. Am I the only evilutionist that let them continue to believe that and in Santa too til they grew out of it? I doubt it.

  6. Ceteris Paribus

    I suspect Jerry is a failed comedian who is using the local newspaper to test out his own variations on ‘blonde’ jokes. He might become a star in his “Southern West Virginia” hometown.

  7. Speaking of failed comedians, I was so bold as to question the Wikipedia article calling Beckley the “Gateway to Southern West Virginia”. I don’t mean to sound condescending, but this triggered a hoax detector of mine.

  8. I am not highly educated or even half-smart. To all those that believe in evolution I would like to ask, why did the process stop with our state of being as it is now? For example, why not eyes in the back of our head to see behind us, or even the ability to do without food or water? Why do we not keep evolving?

    To Jerry, whoever, wherever and whatever you are: Who says we’ve stopped evolving? Not biologists, who have charted the spread of genes for such things as continuing to be able to digest milk without trouble in adulthood. As for the particular, er, X-developments you suggest: the first is unlikely since nature works gradually with whatever is on hand (which is why human upright walking is so unlike that of, say, birds), while the second is almost certainly flat-out impossible. Saying that the failure of evolution to do something improbable or even impossible is proof that evolution didn’t happen at all is absurd.

  9. No excuse for lack of education. Please visit:

    Raleigh County Public Library
    221 N. Kanawha St. Beckley, WV 25801

  10. Christine Janis

    Why didn’t God give us eyes in the back of our head? After all, he can do anything, can’t he?

  11. But Eric, don’t you see!? We don’t witness, say, mice being born and gradually metamorphosing into giraffes over their lifetimes. Ergo, it’s obvious that evolution has stopped. 😛

  12. In God We Trust is printed on our currency. But still our government officials rule to the contrary. In forgetting these beliefs, I think it is leading to the decay of this blessed country. There is no fear of the United States anymore. Could it be because there is a decline in the fear of the Lord?

    “In God We Trust” was placed on our currency by act of Congress in . . . drumroll, please . . . 1954, at the height of the Cold War, when Americans were desperate to distinguish our country from the officially atheistic Soviet Union. Does that mean we were a godless country for nearly two centuries before that?

    And, Jerry, there is plenty of fear of the United States. What you mean is that we have adversaries who aren’t cowed into submission buy our godly might. But we always did. Remember the Soviets? The Nazis? How about the British, back when? Even the French got some licks in, during the so-called “Quasi-War” of the 1790s.

    And anyone who asks “Could it be” that something is true is engaging in speculation and, indirectly, suggesting the answer isn’t clear. You, however, obviously believe it is, so your question is a mere rhetorical gimmick, empty of substance.

  13. Poor Jerry. Some people should resist the urge to write letters to editors.

    “Why do we not keep evolving?”

    Who says we have stopped? And besides, we are not the only species of life on this planet. There’s every indication that we are all evolving. We can’t help it — it’s in our genes.

    “When they devised the Constitution, they added the words, “One Nation Under God.”

    Nope. The phrase was added to the Pledge of Allegiance on June 14, 1954 in response to “godless communism”.

    “Those who have faith in evolution or the Big Bang keep searching for the truth.”

    Yep. That’s why they are called “scientists”.

    “Those that believe in the Big Bang Theory. I have a rock in my driveway; can you give me universe out of it?”

    WTF??

    “I am not highly educated or even half-smart.”

    You’re right about that, Jerry. Not even half-smart.

  14. It is unfortunate Jerry doesn’t ask the questions sincerely and with an open mind. If he delved into what he would consider heresy and really trying to find the answers to his questions he might not have to live up to his self proclaimed titles of ignorance and stupidity.
    The United States is the first nation that really made a point of unshackling the government with the Church. It is unfortunate that legacy has been eroded by pandering to the religious community with what the supreme court has dubbed “ceremonial deism”. While the official verdict may be that “In God we Trust” is a mere window dressing on an officially secular nation, the Jerrys of the U.S. don’t see it that way. In fact in his mind it has even made it to the Constitution.

  15. Why do we not keep evolving?

    I am sorry to say that there are a number of pro-evolution people who think that H. sapiens has stopped evolving. The thought seems to be that we have, by means of modern medicine etc., overcome selective pressure.
    (Rather than that leading to more evolution.) I’m guessing that the thought is that evolution means natural selection.

    (I’m trying tempting fate and the indulgence of SC with all of those italics. I’ve triple-checked and let’s hope.)

  16. Side note to Eric: “In God We Trust” first appeared on US coinage in 1864, during the Civil War. It was first on the then-newly-minted two-cent coin, and was added to other coins over the years since then. The phrase first appeared on paper money ($1 silver certificate) in 1957.

    It was “under God” that was inserted between the words “…one nation, indivisible…” in the Pledge of Allegiance in 1954 as a response to communism during the Cold War.

  17. I thought that, “In God We Trust” is printed on your currency because you worship the Almghty Dollar.

  18. BEST CREATIONIST LETTER EVER! This guy needs to start a weekly column. He has real potential.

  19. SC: "Jerry has never read the Constitution. Nor has he seen our post on this subject: Is America a 'Christian Nation'?"

    Thought experiment time again:

    Imagine that Jerry has read the Constitution, and your post, twice each, very carefully, taking notes. Now imagine what he would write differently in letter-to-the-editor. You say “nothing”?! Me too. Oh, maybe he’d be a little less clumsy with the wording, and more subtle with all the bait-and-switch, but the essence of the letter would be the same. Or maybe not even that.

    But if that’s so, we really can’t say for sure that he did not read either. The most that we can say is that he’s one of those “transitional fossils” between scammed and scammer, and in this case, if not for most of those 464 examples of “wisdom,” probably closer to scammed than scammer.

  20. “but find it so hard to believe in God’s word”
    And just where Oh! Wise One do we get this word of gawd??? Are you hearing voices in your head??? And PLEASE don’t even think of mentioning that pile rot written by a bunch of stone age desert dwelling sheep herders. Now if gawd is appearing to you bring him over and we’ll have a few beers and when he tries to tell me what he wants, I can tell him to go to hell!!!!

  21. Timothy Norfolk

    I did actually find information on religious affiliation of prisoners, but I can’t remember the source right now. I do recall that the proportion of atheists in prison is far smaller than the same proportion in the general population. Perhaps atheists are too clever to get caught?

  22. Timothy Norfolk: “Perhaps atheists are too clever to get caught?”

    Or perhaps it’s because they never confess?

  23. Timothy queries: “Perhaps atheists are too clever to get caught?”
    I think it more likely that prisoners “find Jesus” in order to impress parole boards.

    As to our not “half-smart” pal Jerry, my first thought was that he’s a Poe . . . but as I reflected on the average intelligence and educational level of my neighbors here in East Texas, I’ve decided that he’s most likely real. Jerry’s level of thinking is fairly typical of rural areas around here. And they vote, which is the really frightening thing.

  24. waldteufel: “I think it more likely that prisoners “find Jesus” in order to impress parole boards.”

    Are you thinking of Chuck Colson?
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charles_Colson

    “Jerry’s level of thinking is fairly typical of rural areas around here.”

    Yep. True G.O.O.B.er.

  25. Oh, Mighty Hand, please turn off the bold. I thank you boldly.

    [*Voice from above*] I stretched forth my mighty hand, and behold!

  26. Doctor Stochastic

    But is Jerry much different from the professors at (for example) Liberty University (who didn’t win in NCAAF this week, either.) Both the Biology and Athletic departments are trying to play outside their leagues.

  27. But I find this an excellent question:

    “I have a rock in my driveway; can you give me universe out of it? (Probably not.)”
    If I could I would be god. All Big Bang theories say it’s impossible!

  28. @retiredsciguy @Timothy Norfolk:
    “Perhaps atheists are too clever to get caught?”
    Or perhaps it’s because they never confess?

    Or perhaps they’re committing no criminal acts like those christian folks.

  29. One of the biggest crooks I know ‘found jesus’ a 2nd time as he was raise xtian. And after finding jesus again, did not help, he was still an Ahole.

  30. There are many reasons for the “decay of this blessed country”. One of which is dumber-than-dirt people like Jerry who outspokenly delight in their ignorance, their lack of education, and their stupidity. America is the best at so many things, but unfortunately our freedom includes the freedom to refuse to learn from centuries of investigations by countless people. The natural Universe is an amazing place – waaaay cooler than Jerry’s Bronze Age nonsense. I actually feel sorry for Jerry – what a waste of a mind. It’s probably not entirely his fault – that’s the power of childhood indoctrination, as has been pointed out by many others before me.

  31. Doctor Stochastic

    Perhaps he should check earlier opinions.

    “To see a World in a Grain of Sand
    And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
    Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
    And Eternity in an hour.”
    – William Blake

  32. Hemant Mehta of the Friendly Atheist got data on the religious affiliation of federal prisoners via a Freedom of Information request, detailed here. Of those willing to give their religious affiliation, 0.7% were atheists. The “of those willing” phrase is important.

  33. RBH says: “0.7% were atheists.”

    More than I suspected.

  34. Satan is not an atheist.
    By the way, something that for long puzzled me: Satan is so very smart, and he knows God as a personal acquaintance, and knows that God is omnibenevolent, omniscient and omnipotent. Why did Satan start a fight that he knew he did not stand a chance in Hell of winning?

  35. Ham has done a good job on this poor soul.

  36. You guys missed a zero there. It should be 0.07%.

  37. Jim Orchardist

    Maybe to a microbe stranded on the rock in his driveway, the rock does seem like a universe.

    Sometimes it is so hard not to feel sorry for people like Jerry. His letter makes me cringe and hope he never writes anything so dimwitted again – for his sake not mine.

  38. TomS wonders: “Why did Satan start a fight that he knew he did not stand a chance in Hell of winning?”
    It’s not a fight, more like a friendly competition: who scores most souls? For more details I recommend you this movie:

    http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087835/

  39. TomS I know the answer but cannot find the source.
    Satan did not REBEL against gawd, so much as when gawd told Lucifer that he must adore MAN as he adores gawd, Lucifer refused saying those hairless apes are not good enough…or something like that. And then grew into being gawd’s fall guy.

  40. @Con-Tester This is an amazing article. Its gives a picture that is in stark contrast to everything thing that even more liberal religious leaders preach.