This is more than a coincidence, dear reader. When one considers the odds against finding two letters-to-the-editor for our collection in the same newspaper, two days in a row, the conclusion is inescapable. Yet that is exactly the situation with which we are confronted. Make of it what you will.
Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Register-Herald of Beckley, West Virginia — proudly known as “The Gateway to Southern West Virginia.” The letter is titled Scientists believe in things they can’t see.
We don’t embarrass letter-writers by using their full names, unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures. Today’s letter-writer is a mystery man, so we’ll use only his first name, which is Albert. We’ll give you a few excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!
At this time, scientists are starting to test out the theory that this 3-dimensional world of ours is an illusion and that the world is actually a 2-dimensional hologram.
We recall seeing some mention of that at PhysOrg about a week ago. Ah yes, here’s the article: Do we live in a 2-D hologram? New Fermilab experiment will test the nature of the universe. The title is wildly misleading. The research is an attempt to discover whether spacetime has any detectable structure. Albert doesn’t say anything about that research. Instead he leaps to something else:
Scientists are also saying they “believe” the universe is made up of 96 percent dark energy and matter. They cannot see or feel this dark energy or matter but they say they can see its effect on the expansion of the universe.
What’s Albert’s point? We can’t “see or feel” lots of things, but we know about them because of the predictable consequences of their existence. Oh wait — we should have seen it coming. He says:
We need not then despair that God cannot be felt or seen in a more concrete way then His effect on the world around us.
Aaaargh!! Come on, Albert. Supernatural interventions aren’t detectable, and the consequences of such things aren’t predictable — certainly not in the way science can detect and predict the effect of unseen natural forces. Surely, even you realize that.
No, Albert doesn’t realize that. He thinks he has data, and he presents it for our consideration:
We can see Him not only in His creation but also in the government of America, which is a product of Christian growth over 2,000 years. [Aaaargh!!] We see in America and Western governments the influence of Christian values of loving neighbor and enemy. [Aaaargh!!] These are values that have been Divinely revealed and not a product of natural evolution where an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth would be the norm. [Aaaargh!!]
But that’s not all there is to Albert’s evidence. Like a good scientist, Albert shows what happens when his unseen force is removed:
As Christianity is forced out of the public arena, we are now seeing a rise in a pre-Christian culture of brutality not seen in centuries.
Having made his case — as surely as one can demonstrate the Big Bang — Albert then provides us with some thoughtful advice:
As a government founded on Christian values, America must not have the form of religion, love and tolerance, but deny the power thereof: God!
Yes, oh yes! Government doesn’t need only the form of religion. It must have the power! You know that that means, don’t you? Sure you do. Now we come to the end of Albert’s letter:
Jesus said that only by prayer and fasting can some demons be driven out, and it may be through this that the conversion of those who are now bringing war and misery to the world can be brought about.
We can start with prayer and fasting. But if that isn’t enough to drive the demons out of you, dear reader, there are other ways to do the job. BWAHAHAHAHAHA!
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