Ken Ham Insists He Ain’t a Ape

This is about a great new essay from Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia, famed for his creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG) and for the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.

As so often happens when he writes, ol’ Hambo is furious. What got him mad this time? You can guess from the title that appears at his personal blog: Gorillas — Just Like Us?

Egad — did someone actually make that claim? Yup — it was an article he saw in the local press. Right away, you can understand Hambo’s anger. You may think gorillas are the same as you, dear reader, but that’s because you’re a godless evolutionist. Ol’ Hambo knows that he ain’t no kin to no monkey! We’ll let him tell you about it in his own words. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

The Cincinnati Zoo has a brand new addition to the gorilla exhibit. One of the gorillas, called Asha, gave birth to a healthy baby gorilla. Now, this is very exciting, and I’ve enjoyed many family outings to this excellent, well-known zoo (located about 30 minutes from our Creation Museum) — despite its evolutionary content.

Wow — what an open-minded guy. Hambo visits the zoo in spite of its evolutionary content. So what’s the problem? Here it comes:

But the Cincinnati Enquirer’s write-up about the baby gorilla includes some claims that are clearly driven by an evolutionary view of the world. The reporter writes that the “dad Jomo walked out into the public space and gave the crowd a serious look” and that the mom “Asha stood back and sized up the situation . . . cautious and maternal.”

How horrible, offensive, and blasphemous! But it gets even worse. Hambo tells us that the newspaper also wrote:

And these are not just anthropomorphic projections. Ron Evans, curator of primates at the zoo, said the behavior of gorillas is acutely similar to that of humans. “Mom always holds baby real tight,” Evans said. “If you ever have a questions about why a gorilla does what it does, remember this: It’s because they are just like us.”

Just like us? Aaaargh!! No wonder Hambo is red faced and sputtering. That’s a grotesque insult! We can imagine Hambo flinging the newspaper aside in disgust when he read those words. Then he says:

Evolutionists are always claiming that humans and apes are not that different, even to the point of ignoring DNA evidence to the contrary!

He’s right. Evolutionists are always ignoring DNA evidence. Let’s read on:

If we are similar like Evans says, I wonder if he would risk living in the enclosure with the gorillas. He says that “they are just like us,” so it should be no problem living in the enclosures with the gorillas, right? If not, then is it due to the fact that we are acutely different after all?

What a stunningly brilliant rebuttal! Yeah, Evans, either move in with ’em or shut up!

Hambo then quotes one of his creation scientists, David Menton, for a couple of paragraphs. The most powerful thing Menton says is:

So why do gorillas in the wild make a nest of sticks in a tree to sleep in? Why, because they are just like us. And why do humans compose music and write books? Because they are just like gorillas.

Menton ain’t no kin to no monkey either! Then Hambo invites you to visit the Creation Museum, where you can “learn the truth about where humans and gorillas came from.”

Well, dear reader, what are you waiting for? You’re not afraid to go, are you?

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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32 responses to “Ken Ham Insists He Ain’t a Ape

  1. I agree that Ham ain’t no ape.

    He’s a baboon.

  2. its evolutionary content

    I think he means the animals.

  3. Charles Deetz ;)

    The implication about living with the apes seems to be that they are dangerous animals without morals, unlike us god-managed humans. That is pretty lame.

  4. Among my favorite photographs in my 5300+- collection that comprises my AppleTV/iTunes screen saver is a photo of a mama gorilla clutching her baby just as a human mom would. Only a god-soaked toad like Hambo would fail to be touched by that or a similar picture.

    Menton and the other obtuse creation “scientists” in Hambo’s coterie of kooks probably no longer care about science, ’cause they don’t do science. They don’t see connections because they have walled themselves off from curiosity, reason, and evidence. Their AiG scam utterly depends on those intellectual prostitutes whose days are spent stitching together sciency sounding phrases to convince their drooling audience of mouth breathing fundies to keep shoveling their coins in Hambo’s direction.

  5. I think old Hambo gives credence to the idea that there are aliens out there that can cross space but are to stupid to land safely so he landed on his head.

  6. waldteufel reflects—

    “… Hambo’s coterie of kooks probably no longer care about science, ’cause they don’t do science. They don’t see connections because they have walled themselves off from curiosity, reason, and evidence.”

    No, what they opportunely see are simple cut-outs of fuzzy feel-good connections. It’s a manifestation of the most primal form of selection– and confirmation bias. Count the hits and ignore the misses if you can’t construe a bull’s-eye around them. Objectivity and caution have no place here. Certainty at any cost is our product and our currency. When you’ve got a spiel about having ambiguity licked, the saps will pay whatever price you name to follow you anywhere.

  7. Such a wise man! Surely the rest of the world should follow his logic where things deemed “similar” or “just like” are, in actuality, exactly the same!

    Oh, wait… Isn’t that the scam he’s trying to pull with his “museum”?

  8. The best part of this is that Ken Ham himself is full of “evolutionary content,” whether he likes it or not.

  9. I don’t think any of the aquatic bottom feeders can be traced to descending from the primate branch. Ken is quite correct in this sense, he is not descended from anywhere in the primate branch, his chosen profession should make such matters obvious.

  10. My apologies to any of the accredited professionals who follow S.C.’s blog. Referring to the chosen vocation of a sociopathic confidence trickster as a profession was a poor choice of words on my part.

  11. Now whenever I see the beef jerky commercials “Messing with Sasquach” on TV I can’t help but think I’m seeing Ken Ham. 🙂

  12. Poor Ken Ham. He’s so desperate for “evidence” against evolution that he has to distort what are clearly highly simplified statements about the similarities between humans and apes into claims that we’re absolutely identical in order to manufacture some.

    Funny thing is, I’d bet at least some of the creationists who are so adamant that human beings aren’t apes privately think black people are. . . . On second thought, that’s not so funny.

  13. @Eric Lipps; creationism, intolerance, bigotry, racism, they all go hand in hand.

  14. I can just imagine hambo tossing the paper aside in disgust and throwing poo at it screaming “I’M NOT A MONKEY”

  15. How many humans compose music and write books?

  16. I wonder how the apes feel about being related to Hambo. My guess is that they aren’t too happy about it.

  17. Hasn’t the poor unread or just plain ignorant fool ever heard of Dian Fossey or Jane Goodall? Ignorance may be bliss but ” You cain’t fix stupid.”

  18. I invoke the “Voice From Above’ to change my error to read “unread or.” Many thanks Great One.

    [*Voice from above*] No problem.

  19. MarkG argues: “The best part of this is that Ken Ham himself is full of “evolutionary content,” whether he likes it or not.”
    Come on – how small are the chances that a random process like Ol’ Hambo results in such a dumbass? He clearly is Unintelligently Designed.

  20. The whole truth

    Among other ignorant, arrogant slobber, Hambo drooled:

    “If we are similar like Evans says, I wonder if he would risk living in the enclosure with the gorillas. He says that “they are just like us,” so it should be no problem living in the enclosures with the gorillas, right? If not, then is it due to the fact that we are acutely different after all?”

    In Hambo’s comparison of humans and apes he is focusing mostly on behavior or allegedly potential behavior. The caring, protective behavior of gorillas and other non-human apes obviously doesn’t persuade Hambo even a little bit to perceive gorillas and other non-human apes as being similar to humans and he is obviously convinced that living with (or just being near) gorillas (and probably other non-human apes) is always very dangerous.

    He conveniently ignores similarly caring, protective behavior but essentially claims that potentially dangerous behavior of cooped up zoo gorillas toward humans who enter the enclosure is proof of a BIG difference between all apes and all humans.

    Apparently, Hambo has never read a newspaper, or watched news on TV, or seen/heard any news via any other source. Humans are FAR more dangerous to other humans and to non-human apes than non-human apes are to humans or to other non-human apes. The number of humans and other non-human apes that have ever been harmed or killed by gorillas and other non-human apes combined is certainly FAR, FAR lower than the number of humans and other non-human apes that have ever been harmed or killed by humans, and religious zealots have been and are the most dangerous or potentially dangerous humans. The most destructive and dangerous things on this planet are humans, overpopulation of humans, and the religions of humans.

    I’d really like to see Hambo go and try to live with some ISIS members. It shouldn’t be dangerous at all since they’re humans just like Hambo. I would even be happy if he would just try to walk through certain parts of some cities right here in the USA.

  21. @The whole truth
    I am reminded of the story of Binti Jua, a gorilla who protected a human child who fell into her enclosure at the zoo.

  22. “Evolutionists are always claiming that humans and apes are not that different, even to the point of ignoring DNA evidence to the contrary!”

    Well, to be fair, he’s right about this. Our DNA is only 98% the same as a gorilla’s. Why are evolutionists always ignoring that 2% difference?

  23. Already spent a day at Kennie Ham’s Folly. Wrote about it here:
    http://sciencestandards.blogspot.com/2009/08/creation-museum-first-impression.html
    http://sciencestandards.blogspot.com/2009/08/im-back-and-spent-interesting-day.html
    http://sciencestandards.blogspot.com/2009/08/creation-museum-lesson-in-being.html
    I really should post more about it, I also have a ton pf pictures. But I really never got enthused about saying much more about the ‘Museum’ itself.

  24. I’ll bet ol’ Hambo wouldn’t object to being classified as a mammal. And, if you explained to him what a tetrapod was, or what a chordate was, he would probably agree that he was one of those, too. But for some reason you can’t identify humans as apes. Very odd.

  25. Here’s a pic of the new baby that Amanda Rossman, a photographer, posted on her Facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/amandarossmannphoto/photos/pcb.349660261848914/349659615182312/?type=1&theater

  26. The whole truth

    Hi TomS, I remember the story about Binti Jua too but I didn’t know that she is the niece of Koko until I read the page that you linked to.

  27. @meh
    For sure, “they” would object to being called an “animal”.
    This brings up a tricky semantic point, for “animal” is often taken as meaning what you and I would call a “mammal”. (So I am told by the Oxford English Dictionary. Yes, I know that a sponge or a sea anemone is not an “animal”, and maybe not a “bug” or a “worm”, but who am I to question the OED?) Anyway, I would not take it for granted that “they” would accept being a mammal or a vertebrate.
    Of course, if you resort to technical language, I hope “they” would accept being a heterotroph, or eukaryote, or bilaterian, or metazoon.

  28. Are they all born with webbed fingers? Just curious.

  29. jack102248 inquires: “Are they all born with webbed fingers? Just curious.”

    Creationists? No, not all of them. A great many, however.

  30. “Are they all born with webbed fingers?”

    No; probably just webs in their brains.

  31. Ken’s special.