We don’t embarrass letter-writers by using their full names, unless they’re politicians, preachers, or other public figures. Today’s writer cranks out a lot of letters for that newspaper, but he doesn’t seem to be prominent otherwise. We’ll use only his first name, which is Garey. Here are some excerpts from his letter, enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and a bit of bold font for emphasis. Here we go!
The Theory of Evolution is the only acceptable explanation for human existence allowed to be taught in public schools these days. No creation allowed. References to any religious ideas about how and when humans populated the world have been replaced with metal detectors and closed campuses. Students are locked in, and God is locked out.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Creationists always make that claim, but if one believes as they do, then how can God be locked out of anywhere? It would be like locking out gravity. It’s true that public schools aren’t supposed to have a religious curriculum, but how many have a gravity-centered curriculum? Yet gravity is always there. Ah well, we shouldn’t be too critical of Garey this early in his letter. After that unpromising start he says
So, what, exactly is a theory? Is it mere conjecture, a guess, as is commonly thought? Or, is it, as Webster says, “A formulation of apparent relationships or underlying principles of certain observed phenomena which has been verified to some degree?” Now that, is a mouthful.
That “mouthful” isn’t the best definition we’ve seen, but it’s better than what we get from the typical creationist, who says a scientific theory is just a bunch of godless nonsense taken on faith. Let’s read on:
According to Evolutionists, we humans, and everything that has ever lived are the result of accidental coalescence of perhaps trillions of elements that began bombarding the Earth some 4 ½ billion years ago.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! “Trillions of elements.” Garey continues:
Then, as time passed, all living things added or subtracted elements of their being that made for successful evolving into whatever form it takes today. Simply put.
Is that the most incompetent description of the theory of evolution we’ve ever seen? Probably not, but it’s up there in the top ten. Here’s more:
Creationists, on the other hand insist that all living things were suddenly created full blown about 5,000 years ago [blah, blah, blah]. The theology can be argued endlessly, and is, by hundreds of churches and sects and each believes its conclusions are the only correct notions on the subject. They have “faith” that what cannot be logically explained and understood simply must be the truth.
Okay, Garey. You’ve presented the two alternatives. Now what? Moving along:
There are some things that are beyond the comprehension of the human brain. Things like “infinity,” which is best defined as “having no beginning, and will have no end.” In other words, an infinite thing has always existed. That is a concept beyond human ability to explain or defend. Thus, it requires faith. A belief in something without scientific evidence of its existence. That is the only way theology works for the only “reasoning” animal on the planet.
That’s a fair description of “faith,” but Garey’s description of “infinity” is limited to theology. The concept is understandable and has utility elsewhere. It requires no faith at all to grasp that the number of numbers is infinite, or that a straight line in Euclidean geometry is of infinite extent. Another excerpt:
So, how do evolutionists explain rational thought, intelligence, the development of language, and that only humans are capable of those things? Well, they can’t.
Aaaargh!! Some of that is explainable and some hasn’t yet been explained. Like all creationists, Garey seizes upon the unknown to justify his beliefs. Stay with us, dear reader, we’re nearly done:
There can be no doubt that most, if not all forms of life on Earth have changed in some ways over however long the planet has been orbiting its unremarkable star, but scientists cannot really tell us how or why.
Aaaargh!! Scientists can indeed explain “how.” That’s what science does. The question of “why” is left to the theologians — and to people like Garey who write letters to the editor. In fact, that’s exactly what Garey does right now at the end of his letter:
Could it be that a supernatural entity is responsible? If one thinks about it, one might just conclude that this entity created the spark that set off the “Big Bang” of scientific theory. That the only logical explanation for the existence of that entity is that it is infinite and beyond the comprehension of both science and theology.
Garey asks: “Could it be?” What can we say? Yes, Garey, it could be. But it also could be any of a zillion other things — including natural, comprehensible things that we haven’t figured out yet. But if we were limited to that which is known today, your Curmudgeon would attribute all unknowns to the Olympian gods. They had style! Anyway, Garey, thanks for the letter.
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