Today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, so we won’t use her full name. Her first name is Jennie. Excerpts from her letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!
Speaking of evolution, it has been said that “not incorporating scientific discovery into Christian theology turns people from God,” suggesting Christians refuse to accept “scientific discoveries” because they feel their power and pride would be threatened and diminished by these discoveries.
Power and pride are undoubtedly motives for some creationists. But Jennie’s thoughts are pure, and she has reasons of her own. She says:
Hogwash. I don’t think power is one of my gifts, but if God chooses to endow me with power, I don’t think a man fashioned around a pig’s tooth is going to diminish it.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That’s a reference to Nebraska Man, a misidentified fossil that was swiftly reclassified. Jennie is still arguing about that one. But she’s right about one thing — lust for power isn’t her problem. As for pride, let’s read on:
I will agree though my pride would certainly be hurt if you called my grandma a gorilla. In fact, take my word now that I wouldn’t take it kindly. Call your own grandma what you want to, but don’t insult mine please.
There is a touch of pride here, but it’s understandable. Jennie ain’t no kin to no monkey! She continues:
It is your privilege to make your own choices, as far as you are able to do so. I might mention that true science reflects and proves the word of God to be true. If you think otherwise, I can understand why you choose not to follow God, when He can’t even get it right about how people came to be and what we’re here for.
Yes, true science proves the bible is true. And what is the test that enables you to know whether science is true science? [*Curmudgeon pauses to stress the importance of this point*] It agrees with the bible! Here’s more:
But, wait a minute, I’ve got a question: Do people who came by way of primordial soup and primates even have a soul? If so, how did that happen to evolve? When did this come to be? Do you expect to see furry souls swinging on grape vines in Heaven?
Jennie has spotted evolution’s biggest problem — the evolution of the soul. Moving along:
Yes, you can choose which side you’re on, but you can’t have it both ways. Richard Dawkins himself said he didn’t see how anybody could believe in God if they believed in evolution. Richard is one of the highest “authorities” on shoring up the shaking sand of evolution; alive and well even as we speak, but his day will come, as will ours.
Dawkins’ day will come — and he’ll find himself in the Lake of Fire. Jennie knows! Another excerpt:
My best advice to anyone is to go with God, the one who was there at the beginning, is with us now, and will be The One who will be with us forever and ever.
Hey, that’s great advice! And here’s how the letter ends:
My second best advice would be go to the zoo as often as you can and see if you can spot any evolution going on there, and please let me know if you do.
Wow — she’s right! There’s no evolution at the zoo. What a great letter!
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