Ellis Washington on Paradise Lost

Buffoon Award

The sirens and flashing lights of the Drool-o-tron™ summoned us to the control room, where the blinking letters of its wall display said RenewAmerica. As you know, RenewAmerica is the latest winner of the Curmudgeon’s coveted Buffoon Award, thus the jolly logo which adorns this post.

Our computer was locked into this item at that endlessly entertaining website: On Milton’s Paradise Lost. It was written by Ellis Washington. If you’re not familiar with Ellis’ writing, the best example of his cosmic-level thinking can be found here, Scripture Trumps Darwin, when he informed us of “the syllogism that was a foundation of Western civilization”:

If A = B, then A + B = C

His recent articles at RenewAmerica have been spectacularly boring. He’s been rehashing what he finds in the Encyclopedia Britannica Great Books of the Western World, and today’s essay is in that pattern. It’s long, but most of it is his retelling of the story in John Milton’s Paradise Lost, and he also describes Milton’s Areopagitica. If you were Ellis’ teacher and he handed this in, you’d give it a very low grade because it looks like all he’s done is recite what he read in a standard reference work.

However, near the end he contributes his own thinking. Here are some excerpts from that, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

Tragically, in modern times, the more educated people become, the more access (through the Internet) they have to voluminous amounts of knowledge that would have dwarfed the famed library of Alexandria which contained most of the ancient manuscripts from antiquity (burned down by Caesar in 48 B.C.), the more ignorant the masses seem to be.

Are we really more ignorant than people in Milton’s time — the 1600s? Here’s why Ellis thinks we are:

How else can one explain the universal love of Marxism, socialism and fascism?

He’s got a point there. Then he shows us that he’s not one of the ignorant masses. Follow this closely, dear reader:

Because most people today seem incapable of critical thinking of using syllogistic reasoning to do even childlike problems any kindergartener could deduce (e.g., ‘It’s wrong to take another child’s candy, because that’s stealing and stealing something that doesn’t belong to you is immoral and wrong’).

Stealing is wrong because it’s wrong? That’s an example of Ellis’ syllogistic reasoning? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! And now we come to the thundering climax at the conclusion:

As I end this essay, the question of ultimate concern is who will be our champion, our Redeemer in modern times? Who will to have the courage to cast out the legions of socialists, Marxists, progressives, liberals and evolution atheists who like squatters for centuries have infiltrated every institution of civil society and culture perverting it and destroying our Judeo-Christian legacy of our forefathers?

Who will save us from the evolution atheists? A bold question! We don’t know the answer, but we do know one thing — it won’t be anyone who writes for RenewAmerica.

Copyright © 2014. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “Ellis Washington on Paradise Lost

  1. With his grasp of logic, and his hatred of anything left, perhaps it’s more logical to be on the left?

    On the other hand, he’s just an idiot who repeats what he’s read or been told without any further thought.

    I certainly wouldn’t want to make any decisions based on his non-thoughts.

  2. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    Who will save us from the evolution atheists?

    Whoever can switch off the internet, where religion goes to die.

  3. “…and evolution atheists who like squatters for centuries have infiltrated every institution of civil society and culture perverting it and destroying our Judeo-Christian legacy of our forefathers?”

    Yes, it all began when Darwin published his works in 1238. Damn that Darwin, and all those centuries of squatters.

    Say, doesn’t A + B = D? I do think Ellis is mathematically incorrect.

    And by coincidence an event that won’t happen for another century, today’s date is 12/13/14. I detect distinct markings of intelligent design associated with that.

  4. Ellis writes like he reasons, poorly.
    I hope he doesn’t give up his day job as a fast food outlet worker.

  5. DavidK notes: “And by coincidence an event that won’t happen for another century, today’s date is 12/13/14.”

    Yes, but only in the US. In Europe, the date is written day-month-year, so there’s no consecutive date that can end in 14. The last year when there were consecutive dates universally was 2013.

  6. In Canada we use day-month-year, month-day-year and year-month-day, so we get it all.

    We also use a mishmash of Imperial and Metric measurements.

    Officially, we’re confused.

  7. The best way that I can describe Mr. Washington’s “thinking” is that it fairly represents fractal stupidity. One wonders if he has the ability to drool and walk at the same time.

  8. Tundra Boy admits: “Officially, we’re confused.”

    We know. It’s probably a polar thing.

  9. Yes, SC, you may be correct, but all the more reason that we are the chosen nation that can do no wrong.

  10. As for dates (calander one, anyway), I usually write them from larger to smaller units thus: 2014-12-13. It seems less confusing to me than having to think about wether the month or the day comes first…

  11. Alex Shuffell

    If today’s date is written as 12/13/14 or 13/12/14 it still means that it wont happen for another century. This is also true for every other date if you write the year as the last two digits.

  12. I suppose that it isn’t worth mentioning for this readership, but does Washington’s political theory find absolute monarchy so much better than even the worse of today’s dictatorships? When unwanted royal spouses could be beheaded as a matter of course? When the king used the wealth and power of the state as his own? And nobody thought that as all odd? Even as recently as 100 years ago, it was widely believed that kings were somehow special. And I won’t get into economics except to note that the charging of interest was sinful.

  13. “Who will save us from the evolution atheists? A bold question! We don’t know the answer, but we do know one thing — it won’t be anyone who writes for RenewAmerica.”
    No, I’m pretty sure EW won’t save anyone from evolution atheist me on this blog. Perhaps SC will, but he hasn’t shown many tendencies in that direction yet.

  14. The Roman historian Plutarch attributes to Caesar the destruction of the Great Library of Alexandria, but other historians differ, according to Wikipedia.