Creationist Wisdom #504: Absolutely Invincible

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Register-Herald of Beckley, West Virginia. It’s titled Science to disprove God fulfills prophecy. There’s a comments section, but there are no comments yet.

The letter-writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, so we’ll use only his first name, which is Tom. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Mr. Lonnie Bailey is fulfilling prophecy and doesn’t even know it. I find that both comical and fascinating in a sad-for-you scenario at the same time glorifying God. You’re doing a great job, Lonnie! Keep it up.

He’s probably talking about a letter by Lonnie appearing in that same newspaper a few days ago: World is turning its face from religion. What Lonnie wrote seems to have stimulated Tom’s letter, in which he is speaking to Lonnie. He says:

I remember my grandmother telling me when I was 5, one of the signs of Christ’s return would be that man would use science to disprove the existence of God and creation. It’s all about blind faith, Lonnie.

Yeah — how about that, Lonnie! But Tom has more ammunition than the wise sayings of his dear old granny. Pay attention to what’s coming next, dear reader. You’ve never seen anything like it before:

If I get backed into a corner and can’t answer a question, I pull out my handy-dandy “get out of jail free” card which is Isaiah 55:8, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” and Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

[*Curmudgeon weeps tears of joy*] Material like that is what keeps us searching for these letters. Tom uses those passages as his unfailing, all-purpose response to the arguments of unbelievers. And so can you!

Then, still speaking to Lonnie, Tom says:

I’ve often wondered if you’ve ever prayed and your prayers were not answered, leading to your beliefs. My suggestion to you is don’t waste your “valuable” time praying because it won’t work for you.

Huh? Why not? Let’s read on:

It won’t work until you accept Christ’s gift. And then it will only work on His time schedule, not ours and sometimes that is a blessing in itself. I refer back to my “get out of jail free” card.

Oooooooooh! This is so wonderful! Tom finishes with these final words to Lonnie:

You keep on doing what your doing, Lonnie. Fulfilling prophecy and entertaining us.

Verily, this is one of our favorite letters. We’ll probably never find another to rival it.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #504: Absolutely Invincible

  1. If I get backed into a corner and can’t answer a question, I pull out my handy-dandy “get out of jail free” card which is Isaiah 55:8, “My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” and Proverbs 3:5, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.”

    Only a fundie would think that having a “handy-dandy ‘get out of jail free’ card” to avoid a question which he admits he can’t otherwise answer is a good thing.

  2. Michael Fugate

    Was that his grandmother’s prophecy? And does that mean Christ has returned? And who should I thank that Tom’s thoughts are not my thoughts?

  3. A truly awesome letter. So much packed into so few words. One wonders if his “get out of jail free” card works with conventional jails, the game Monopoly or is it reserved for the prison in his mind.

  4. I know that praying will not work for me.
    The main difference between him and me is that he deludes himself that it will work for him.

  5. aturingtest has it right. Those two quotes are nothing but dodges. And (ahem) the one from Isaiah is supposedly being dictated by God; “Tom” must have some big brass ones if he thinks he’s equally entitled to say that.

  6. Tom could learn a few tricks from the Curmudgeon. Whenever I get backed into a corner and can’t answer a question, I shout: “Ring around the collar!” It works every time.

  7. Nice thing about science — we don’t get “backed into a corner”. We just say, “That’s an area that needs more research,” and let it go at that.

  8. More than that, RSG, there’s none of that adamant insistence on sacrosanct certainty: “Oops, we were wrong about that. Here’s how it really is. Yay, we learned something new and surprising!

  9. I recall Beckley, West Virginia from an earlier contribution here. I note that you have forgotten to mention this time that Beckley is known as the Gateway to Southern West Virginia. I trust that you will not repeat this lapse the next time.

  10. You’re right, TomS, and my memory lapse is inexplicable. Beckley is proudly known as “The Gateway to Southern West Virginia.” That venerable municipality has contributed not one, but two prior letters to our collection. They are: #464: Scientists and Atheists, which was followed immediately thereafter by #465: Form and Power.

  11. OT, but since we’re talking about Beckley, WV — if any of you happen to drive through, be sure to stop at Tamarack, the showcase for WV arts & crafts. The art & crafts are great, but the main reason to visit is that the food in the cafeteria is catered by The Greenbriar, WV’s venerable spa hotel that for decades held the secret emergency wartime White House. Gourmet food at cafeteria prices. Worth going out of your way.

    The rainbow trout is fantastic, and the pecan pie is the best I’ve ever had. (Sorry, Mom, but it’s true — although yours would be a very close second.)

  12. Diogenes Lamp

    Tom, through his Bible quotes, is just saying God cannot be rationally apprehended. If God cannot be rationally apprehended, his hypothetical existence cannot be demonstrated or tested. Thus the existence of God cannot be rationally held.

    Moreover, there are many competing assertions about God, is he Allah, is he a Trinity, how many gods are there– but Tom cannot rationally distinguish between many competing Gid hypotheses.

    Lastly, he calls the Bible “God’s word” but this is begging the question; he assumed God exists and that his god wrote his version of the Bible, but what he assumed is what he actually needed to prove. If God can’t be understood by reason, as Tom’s Bible says, how can Tom tell which books were written by God? Among Christians, Catholics, Protestants, Eastern Orthodox and Coptic Christians call four different sets of books the “Bible”. If God cannot be rationally apprehended, how can Tom know which set of books, if any, were written by God? How can he know the Quran, Book of Mormon, Bagavad Gita etc. were not also written by God? If God cannot be rationally apprehended, how can he not know that this comment you’re reading now was not written by God?