Ken Ham Blasts Evil Super Bowl Commercial

We’re worried that one of these days, Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia, is going to blow out his arteries all over the internet. Today, as so often before, ol’ Hambo is furious. We imagine that he’s red in the face, foaming at the mouth, howling to the heavens, and rolling around chewing the carpet.

What is it this time? Look what he just posted at his blog: Carnival Cruise Corporation — Blatant Use of Evolution for Super Bowl Advertisement.

Egad — evolution in a Super Bowl ad! How horrible! Here are some excerpts from Hambo’s post, with bold font added by us:

It’s sad — but true — the world’s largest cruise line company with its more than 20 cruise ships blatantly used evolution to advertise its cruises at the Super Bowl this evening. CNN reported the following:

[Hambo’s quote from CNN’s report, with Hambo’s ellipses:] Carnival Corporation Takes People ‘Back to the Sea’ in First-Ever Super Bowl TV Commercial . . . 60-second spot features speech given by President John F. Kennedy and stunning images to convey the emotional power of the sea and how cruising reconnects people to each other and the world . . .

A speech by Kennedy? Is that a problem? You’ll soon see. Hambo says:

On September 14, 1962, at Newport, Rhode Island, then-US President, John F Kennedy stated this in his America’s Cup speech:

[Hambo’s version of what Kennedy allegedly said, to which we added some bold font for emphasis:] I really don’t know why it is that all of us are so committed to the sea, except I think it’s because in addition to the fact that the sea changes and the light changes, and ships change, it’s because we all came from the sea. And it is an interesting biological fact that all of us have, in our veins the exact same percentage of salt in our blood that exists in the ocean, and, therefore, we have salt in our blood, in our sweat, in our tears. We are tied to the ocean. And when we go back to the sea, whether it is to sail or to watch it we are going back from whence we came.

Gasp — Kennedy was a Darwinist! Hambo then tells us

The advertisement is being called the “Come Back to the Sea” spot, as the Carnival Corporation wants to supposedly “create a personal connection with consumers.”

That sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? Not to Hambo. Let’s read on:

Don’t you just feel this “personal connection?” After all, your ancestor came out of the sea and evolved by natural processes to produce you. Don’t you feel the connection? Don’t you just want to go on one of their cruises so you can stand on the deck of a big cruise ship, look at the sea, and contemplate your accidental beginnings — and perhaps worship the sea, because it gave birth to you!

The way Hambo explains it, his followers should all be furious, and properly so! We continue:

Oh — and really, you can spend a lot of money on such a cruise, but because you evolved from the sea and are just an evolved animal, and when you die you won’t even know you existed — so you won’t even remember the cruise — so what’s the point anyway? You just evolved to have an ultimately meaningless existence!

Why spend money on a cruise, when you can buy a lifetime pass to Hambo’s Ark? Here’s more:

So we have Neil deGrasse Tyson in his cosmos series telling us we are all stardust — we are children of the stars. And the Carnival Cruise Corporation telling us we all came from the sea. So — worship the stars and worship the sea! That’s the increasing state of our culture as it abandons the truth of God’s Word.

This is horrible — all is lost! Moving along:

Except for the fact that it’s a spiritual issue because of our sin, it’s mind-boggling to think that intelligent people can actually believe life (and the whole universe) came about by accident! Ludicrous!

Ludicrous indeed! Hambo finishes with a video of the blasphemous commercial, and then he gives us a big scripture quote. So we leave it to you, dear reader, to contemplate the depths to which our culture has sunk. It’s no wonder Hambo is upset.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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27 responses to “Ken Ham Blasts Evil Super Bowl Commercial

  1. Ha! I was wondering what Ham would have to say about it as I watched the commercial last night. It’s almost as though the ad was written specifically to get his goat. Glad to see it worked!

  2. Mary L. Mand

    Poor fool. He can’t enjoy and appreciate (not worship) the sea and stars and learn from them. That is what’s ludicrous.

  3. VAScienceLover

    Wow just when you think the hamster has reached the bottom of the barrel he somehow finds a way to scrape his way even deeper. It is quite inspiring to contemplate my far distant ancestors crawling forth from the ocean to crawl (and ultimately walk) on dry land. To believe that my ancestors were poofed into existence by a sadistic sky daddy and suffer from death and disease because one of them ate the wrong fruit in the garden? Far from inspiration, that would be a source of suicidal despair. How tortured the psyche of fundamentalists truly must be!

  4. Well since your only source for ‘ truth of God’s Word.’ is an old book of lies and BS, what you think is BS as well.

  5. You’d think an ancient mariner like old Hambo would be more respectful of the sea.

  6. Ham’s just upset Carnival has boats that are seaworthy.

  7. Dave Luckett

    Well, the Bible says that Come The Day, there will be no more sea. Revelation 21:1. Fact.

    You know, that alone is a reason why I don’t want to go the heaven of Ken Ham. (Not that any place would be heaven if Ken were there, but you see what I mean.) No sea. So no light on the water. No waves, no colours, no cliffs shouldering down to a break, no river opening, no tide, no salty clean breeze, no beach, no island, no fretted horizon beckoning.

    And no weather. No night or day either. No change. Nothing to remember, nothing to expect. Everything the same forever.

    And this, Ken thinks, is heaven. It’s odd. I can only shudder, and say “God forbid”, and in a sense, mean that with real fervour.

  8. I don’t know what Hambo’s problem is. Adam was a mud pie, right? Mud is made of dirt and water. Water comes from rain. Rain comes from clouds. Clouds from sea water. The only problem I have with this article is the way you say “rolling around chewing the carpet” like that’s a bad thing.

  9. Actually I think the concentration of salt in our blood is the same as when our ancestors developed circulatory systems.
    I suppose they could have made an ad for the Hambo thralls. Noah was out to sea for almost a year, so get back out here without the need for a pooper scooper or the bloated bobbing corpses of genocide victims. Though there have been a few Carnival cruises with generator problems in the past few years that probably did smell ark bad with malfunctioning toilets and rotten food in dead freezers.

  10. Hambone is astonished “…to think that intelligent people can actually believe life (and the whole universe) came about by accident!” I wonder whether Hambone understands how accidental he is. The mean human ejaculate has something like a quarter million sperm cells, so the probability of getting the precise combination of genes that he has is pretty small. Or maybe, if he thinks about it at all, he’s sure the hand of the sky fairy guided that particular sperm to mommy’s ovum.

  11. “Oh — and really, you can spend a lot of money on such a cruise, but because you evolved from the sea and are just an evolved animal, and when you die you won’t even know you existed . . .

    According to fundamentalists, “the dead know nothing” (Ecclesiastes, chapter 9, verse 5) anyway, and won’t until Jesus comes in glory to raise them–and throw most of them into a lake of fire to burn eternally in agony. So what’s Ham’s point? Whining about an offhand, metaphorical point made by a president fifty years dead seems like a waste of perfectly good petulance.

  12. WondrousTermagant

    That comment was glorious. I’ve yet to see a single creationist cite the “everything got here by chance” comment in the first place.

  13. Charles Deetz ;)

    Mark Germano wins the internets tonight!

    Ham’s just upset Carnival has boats that are seaworthy.

    Not to mention their boats are a lot more fun!

  14. Charlie, ya beat me to it! Mark’s comment is a gem.

    We could add that besides being seaworthy, Carnival’s boats are also bigger than Ham’s proposed ark, and don’t need any Ky. tax breaks.

  15. @Dave Luckett: No sea, no islands. No islands, no Jimmy Buffett. Now that would be a helluva place indeed.

  16. I wonder if Ken Han can conceive of a world where people don’t worship things.

  17. @abeastwood
    Is there anything so without pattern as those things, what that agency might do, whom we know not, whose motivations we dare not ask, whose methods are beyond human imagining, who can act at any opportunity, In other words, isn’t that “Intelligent Designer(s)” did it, as “beyond any regularities of nature”, without any humanly detectable pattern?

  18. I’m not trying to one up Mark Germano but it may be that his rage is due to Carnival having any boats at all. While poor ol’Hambo may never even have one to call his own. All those dollars going into someone else’s pockets and Carnival isn’t even attempting to enslave minds. That would send any megalomaniac into a tizzy no?

  19. Dean, I don’t think it is a case of boat envy. RSG mentioned he wondered what Ham would think when he saw the commercial. I actually think Hambo sees these things more as daily fodder for his column than a reason to turn beet red and have steam coming out of his ears.
    I’m a bit surprised Hambo didn’t mention that the word carnival “means fare well to meat” which has Christian significance as the beginning of Lent. Maybe that wasn’t obvious to him or he would rather avoid giving a nod to Catholicism.

  20. Abeastwood is full of wonder: “whether Hambone understands how accidental he is”.
    The definite proof that god doesn’t exist. If he did he undoubtedly would have favoured another sperm cell.

  21. I hate to find myself on the same side as Ham. But isn’t the idea that our blood electrolytes correspond to some ancient ocean romantic poppycock?

  22. @Paul Braterman says “isn’t the idea that our blood electrolytes correspond to some ancient ocean romantic poppycock?”

    Probably, but what’s the harm in the thinking that I like to take my kids to the beach for the same reason I like to show them to see where their grandparents were born?

  23. Great Debbie Downer impression, Paul!

  24. The whole truth

    So, hambo obviously believes that it’s perfectly fine to advertise his beliefs and his business wherever and however he likes, including Times Square, but it’s not okay for a cruise business to advertise their business in a way that hambo disagrees with.

    Earlier tonight there was a commercial on TV advertising (promoting) Scientology. If hambo sees that commercial I wonder if he will flip out about it? After all, Scientology is not christianity and it’s not even close to hambo’s beliefs. He must know that religious cults (they’re all cults) that have beliefs contrary to his advertise on TV and other venues. Does he bitch about that?

    hambo is a petty, narcissistic tyrant with delusions of godhood. His obvious goal is to be just like the horrible, imaginary god of the bible.

  25. @The Whole Truth
    He wont flip out on it for the same reason Jack Chick has yet to make a tract attacking Scientology: They don’t want to get their asses sued out by the church, one lawsuit that they could actually win, this shows that fundies like Ham and Chick are just hypocrites.

  26. Eddie Janssen

    He doesn’t like Kate Perry either.

  27. Christine Janis

    @Paul: “But isn’t the idea that our blood electrolytes correspond to some ancient ocean romantic poppycock?”

    Not if you’re a hagfish. But other vertebrates have blood ionic concentrations of a third or less of seawater. Otherwise in fresh water they’d swell up from osmosis and burst.