This is the world début the new graphic which adorns this post, created by the talented elves who ceaselessly toil in our art department. It may be useful in many contexts — especially when creationists accuse us of waging an imaginary war against their religion. If its meaning mystifies you, it’s a parody of the Gadsden flag, modified for The Controversy between evolution and creationism.
Because today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is Robert. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!
After discussing an earlier letter with which he disagrees, Robert says:
She advanced two arguments that proved to her God does not exist. I would like to share my argument for why I believe He does exist.
Get ready, dear reader. Here comes Robert’s argument:
It’s often call [sic] the teleological argument for God and it basically says when we see order, design and purpose, we also see intelligence, and for me, I see order, design and purpose everywhere in the universe.
That’s it? It’s nothing more than the Discoveroids’ argument. Why does Robert think it’s so persuasive? Let’s read on:
One night in a seminary dorm room (more real learning occurs in dorm room discussion after midnight than any class room), someone asked, “What is the most religious course you ever took?” referring, obviously to our prior studies in Christianity. I immediately replied that it wasn’t a course in religion at all. It was Introduction to Physiology 101 at the University of Illinois because to study all the mechanisms of the human body with all its complexities is to study God for I felt I was literally examining a well planned, precisely designed machine.
The human body? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! That clumsy contraption inspired us to write Buffoon Award Winner — The Intelligent Designer. Robert continues, and he’s still in that dorm room bull session where his true education occurred:
Instantly, another seminarian said, “No, for me, my most religious course was a two hour undergraduate class in astronomy. When you see the precision in the stars and planets measurable down to a second, you have to know there was a planner, an intelligence who put it all together.”
Yes! Only intelligence could have created the asteroid belt or the battered surface of the Moon. Here’s more:
For me, science proves God over and over again. Countless laws and principles and formulae of chemistry and physics are consistently definable and exact and therefore can be used to take us to Mars someday.
Ah yes, things are what they are and behave as they do, rather than constantly becoming what they aren’t and behaving some other way. Therefore Oogity Boogity! Moving along:
Science has truly uncovered clear evidence of God. Where there is design, there is a Designer.
Ooooooooooh, ooooooooooh! Design! And now we come to the end (ellipsis in the original):
Maybe, science and religion are two wheels on the same axle…and it takes both of them to move us along toward total truth?
Maybe, but why do they often spin in different directions? Ah well, Robert has a right to his opinions. All we ask is that he doesn’t drool on us.
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