Creationist Wisdom #532: Two From Canada

We found two strange letters-to-the-editor today. Indeed, they are among the strangest letters we’ve ever encountered. They’re both in the Waterloo Region Record of Kitchener, Ontario, which is part of the tenth largest metropolitan area in Canada.

Neither letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, so we won’t embarrass or promote them by using their full names. Excerpts from each letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Here’s the first: Is evolution proven? It was written by Hank, and the newspaper doesn’t appear to have a comments feature. It refers to an earlier letter critical of two politicians, James Lunney, and Rick Nicholls, who had “gone out of their way to deny evolution.” Hank didn’t like that letter. He says:

Those politicians are correct. The root word for the word evolution is evolve, and the word evolving means an ongoing process. Taken in that light, are those who believe in evolution not humans, or are they not humans anymore?

Aaaargh!! To drive home his point, Hank asks:

When a farmer plants corn seeds in the spring, does evolution — an ongoing process — yield a different crop? And, by the way, did corn, trees, weeds, flowers also originate from the same cell that developed monkeys, humans and animals? Did stones also originate from that same cell? Is evolution a proven fact?

Hey, yeah — where did stones come from? Let’s read on:

[The earlier letter-writer] also writes that politicians cannot express their Christian beliefs, because “their religion does not belong on Parliament Hill.” Yet, [he] implies that it is OK to bring his religion to Parliament Hill, because, when I do a Google search for a definition of religion, among the Oxford dictionary definitions is “a pursuit or interest followed with great devotion.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We’ve encountered that dictionary argument before — see Rev. David Rives: Evolution is a Religion. And this is from Hank’s final paragraph:

[The earlier letter-writer] puts his trust in man and believes that man can save himself, and Christians believe in God, knowing that God is the only one who saves. Ignorance is not a quality I value in my government, nor should you.

The second letter in that newspaper is Flinging poop at humans and their manipulative ways, written by Tony. There is a comments feature after this one. Tony says:

Do you believe in evolution? What a loaded question. I believe in God, first and foremost. I have my personal reasons for this and they have all to do with God.

Tony then tells how he once fell “from a great height,” but survived, and then how he “suffered a terrible health problem and actually died for a few short seconds.” But then:

I was shortly brought back and ever since have never questioned life after death. I will never again question whether or not there is a God (whatever name people may call Him by).

Okay, now what? Tony declares:

To think humans evolved from apes is a bit of a stretch to me. Knowing people as I do, I would not be surprised to find that humans have mated with apes and maybe that is the link evolutionists are looking for.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Yes, we’re all looking for some of that ape action. Here’s more:

We are survivors, all of us living here on Earth. Whether we are human, mammal, reptilian, alien, insect, plant, bacteria, sea creatures and whatever living thing I may have missed.

Tony didn’t miss anything. He included humans and mammals. And also aliens. That’s rather all-inclusive. Moving along:

I believe we humans are doing enough manipulating of the human race using genetics. We play with genetics to create vegetables that taste like fruit, create fruit and vegetables to be a certain colour. Make it so our foods last a lot longer on the shelf. We can make it so there is less fat on the animals we process for human consumption. We create animal stock of greater size with faster growth, all for human consumption. We need not wonder, too hard, why girls have been developing physically faster.

No comment. Here’s another excerpt:

All we do to our food supply, to our Earth, to our fellow humans, the air we breathe; it all comes back at us. It all comes back and affects us. This is what I see as being evolution. It is not on purpose, it is created by human manipulation. It all boils down to money, power and greed.

Yes — evolution is all about money, power and greed. And now we come to the end:

Sometimes I think it would be nice to be a simple monkey and throw poop at the humans.

Tony’s got the right idea. You gotta admit, dear reader, they write some good letters in Canada.

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19 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #532: Two From Canada

  1. Thank you for the two fine examples of why friends shouldn’t allow friends to tend goal unless they are wearing an appropriate goalie mask.

  2. Oh God these two people live somewhere near me.
    The first person deserves a good slap in the face for so many false arguments. And i’m certainly going to look up those MP they mentioned.

    The second guy……. certainly took a puck to the face.

  3. Charles Deetz ;)

    Is it silly to flip Canadian #1’s metaphor back at him: So when did that seed become a plant … where is the transitional form? Or did it magically switch from being a seed to a plant? Or (like most pro-lifers these days), was it a plant when it was pollinated?

  4. Tony then tells how he once fell “from a great height,” but survived

    We can safely deduce he landed on his head. And can, with impeccable Sherlockian logic, further deduce that the point of greatest impact was on the frontal lobes, which were reduced to non-functioning jelly.

    Elementary, my dear Curmudgeon!

  5. Where is Tundra Boy? He should be here to defend his countrymen.

  6. It must be comforting to the American friends of this nice blog to learn that nuttery is not a privilege of their country – that such nuttery can be even worse at the other side of the borders.
    At the other hand I must admit that my snarky comment above is inspired by jealousy – how I would like to see Dutch nuttery exposed on this nice blog! Fortunately a Dutchie has beaten Ol’ Hambo with building an ark.

  7. Eddie Janssen

    Come to think of it: do Dutch creationists ever reach the newspapers? The last one of any importance I can think of is nanotechnologist Cees Dekker.

  8. SC, you ask Hey, yeah — where did stones come from?

    I would begin with looking at Hank’s parentage.

    Just as an addendum, there’s a lot of chemical pollutants in the ground water of Waterloo from the makers of Agent Orange and fertilizers. Hank may have been exposed from a young age. When you throw in the percentage of people in the area who are Mennonites (many the offspring of Luddites), it’s not that surprising to rest of us Canucks where Hank and Tony hail from.

  9. I was shortly brought back and ever since have never questioned life after death. I will never again question whether or not there is a God (whatever name people may call Him by).

    As a former EMT, I’d say, “Thank the medics, doctors and nurses, bub, who brought you back.”

  10. Dave Luckett

    Fair’s fair, guys. Tony is at least leading something like evidence – he claims to have had a near-death experience. Of course, he doesn’t even consider the possibility that this was a trauma-caused hallucination, but questioning one’s own perceptions is “a bit of a stretch”, as he puts it, for most people.

    But although he unquesioningly accepts the evidence, as he believes, of his own senses, he dismisses without investigation evidence from other sources. This is the opposite error. Apparently, the fact that these attitudes are mutually inconsistent has not occurred to him. Possibly, if it were pointed out to him, he’d see the sense of it.

    But, alas, more likely not.

  11. @EJ: there are Nederlands Dagblad and Reformatorisch Dagblad, but otherwise hardly.

    “To honor the day of rest, pages on their website are not available on Sundays.”
    That’s the spirit.

  12. Why are those of us living in the United States of America referred to simply as “Americans”? After all, Canada makes up the largest portion of North America. Shouldn’t the term “American” refer to anyone living in North, Central, or South America? Just sayin’.

    How about “United Statesian”? (Or as the French and French-Canadiens might say, “Etats Unisien” or “Etats Unisienne”. [Someone please help me with my French. It’s been a long, long time.] )

  13. retiredsciguy asks:

    Why are those of us living in the United States of America referred to simply as “Americans”?

    I recall a time when I was getting on a plane going to a country south of the USA, and an official who was inspecting tickets in the boarding line was asking each passenger for his nationality. Several people in line were from various South and Central American countries, and I didn’t want to offend anyone by saying “American” — I know they resent that — so when it was my turn to declare my nationality, I said “US.” That did the job.

  14. @SC
    See the Wikipedia article on “Use of the word American”. Technically, the use of “America” to refer to the USA is totum pro parte. I’m sure
    that the official was used to people saying “American”, and had been instructed to clarify, with a minimum of fuss for everybody, by asking “USA?”

  15. Wiki article probably written by a person from the US. 🙂 Having lived in other portions of America, specifically South America, folks there really do not like “American” to be used exclusively for those from the USA. Sure, most folks understand the intended meaning, but that does not make it less offensive to some. Similarly, the use of September 11 as a universal identifier of the US 9/11 is also misguided; September 11 has a completely different significance in Argentina.

  16. Douglas E: In Chile, as well.

  17. I realize the problem stems from the fact there is no fluid way of saying
    “US-ian” .

  18. This is my town. Most people think creationism is loony here (if they even think of it at all; most Canadians are too busy thinking about hockey or some s***) but I’ve noticed in the opinion section of The Record this kind of thing pops up from time to time.