We keep getting email saying: “Hey, Curmy, you haven’t given us a good vomit opportunity lately. How about it?” That’s fair criticism. We haven’t had a good one since Vomit Opportunity: Bryan Fischer & Georgia Purdom.
What you’re clamoring for is a really good, let ‘er rip, heavy-duty, all-at-once, mighty heave from way down deep. You want another episode of the Vomit Show from Seattle, which made its pilot debut in: Discovery Institute: Vesuvius of Vomit. We haven’t had one of those shows since The Creationist Vomit Show, No. 1, but that wasn’t from Seattle. So today we’re happy to announce a new episode of the Creationist Vomit Show — on location in Seattle! — hosted by your humble Curmudgeon.
All right, Vomiteers, get ready. Our subject matter comes from the Discovery Institute’s creationist blog, and it’s titled How Should We Teach Evolution? Best of all, it was written by Casey Luskin, our favorite creationist. Here we go!
Good morning, Vomiteers! [*Good morning, Curmudgeon!*] Are you ready for another episode of the Creationist Vomit Show? [*Yes!*]
Okay! We see that everyone in the studio audience is wearing our official green and yellow Vomiteer costume, and you’re all wearing your Vomiteer headgear. That’s great! Now gather ’round as we begin another adventure in Vomit Land — that wonderful place where everyone is a creationist! Casey says, with bold font added by us:
In recent posts [links omitted], I’ve considered some of the misinformation directed at students from Darwin-lobbying groups like the National Center for Science Education. Having answered false claims by evolution advocates in the context of science education, it’s fair to ask now: How should evolution be taught? Discovery Institute’s Center for Science & Culture has made its position clear on many occasions in the past, but since media and advocacy groups continue to advance misunderstandings and distortions, it can’t hurt to say it once more.
[*Audience squirms and squeals with delight*] Great introduction! Then Casey tells us:
Darwinian evolution should be fully and completely taught in public schools, and schools need to teach more about evolution, not less. Unfortunately, most biology classrooms teach a one-sided, pro-Darwin-only curriculum that censors serious any scientific critique of neo-Darwinism. This makes for bad science education. It doesn’t teach students how to think, just what to think. Instead, schools should teach about both the strengths and weaknesses of neo-Darwinian and chemical evolutionary theories and let students critically evaluate the arguments and evidence in this debate.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! On with the show:
Teaching students in such a balanced, objective manner turns classroom instruction away from indoctrination and toward genuine education. Critically analyzing Darwinian evolution teaches students more about the facts of biology and produces scientifically minded students with good critical thinking skills. As Charles Darwin himself wrote in the Origin of Species: “a fair result can be obtained only by fully stating and balancing the facts and arguments on both sides of each question.”
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The Discoveroids have used that mined quote before — see Ball State Imbroglio: John West Is Angry. Casey continues:
Science education theorists agree that students learn science best when they learn about arguments for and against a particular concept.
“Science education theorists”? BWAHAHAHAHAHA! This is like watching an Ancient Aliens show on the misnamed History channel, babbling about the ancient astronaut hypothesis, where the narrator keeps saying: “Ancient astronaut theorists believe …” Here’s more from Casey:
Science education is about teaching students the facts of biology, but also about teaching them how to think like scientists. When students are told that Darwinian evolution is a “settled theory” or that there “is no controversy over evolution,” that not only misinforms them about debates taking place among scientists, but it fails to teach students how to use critical thinking on these important scientific questions.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! One last excerpt:
There is a vibrant debate over Darwinian evolution taking place in the scientific community, and the scientists who have signed the Scientific Dissent from Darwinism List invite you to investigate it.
That’s it, Vomiteers — wasn’t it fun? [*Yes!*] Now, for the climax of the show, here’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for. Your Curmudgeon will pull this magic chain and release a flood of creationist vomit upon the studio audience. Ready? [*Yes!*] Here it comes! [*Curmudgeon pulls chain. The overhead vat releases its accumulation through vents in the ceiling. Whoosh! Plop! Bluuuuhhh!*]
Wasn’t that great? [*Yes!*] Okay, Vomiteers, you can take off your costumes now. We’ll let you know when the next episode is available. And if you don’t yet have your official Vomiteer costume, be sure to visit our gift shop.
Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.