There are very rare occasions when creationists attempt to be humorous. Such efforts always fail, but from our perspective, there’s nothing funnier than when a creationist — oblivious to the ridiculousness of his own position — consciously tries to be funny.
We found another creationist attempt at humor at the Discovery Institute’s blog. They just posted The Modesty Chronicles. It was written by David Klinghoffer, a Discoveroid “senior fellow” (i.e., flaming, full-blown creationist), who eagerly functions as their journalistic slasher and poo flinger. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:
They’ve got a humor-impaired satirist at The New Yorker called Andy Borowitz. This week he offers the following headline, Scientists: Earth Endangered by New Strain of Fact-Resistant Humans. You can pretty much write the rest yourself, though I was surprised that he leaves out any direct mention of the obvious targets — skeptics on climate change and Darwinian evolution. I suppose the reader is expected to fill those in for himself:
Klinghoffer then gives a big excerpt from what he finds to be “humor-impaired.” Here’s a sample:
The research, conducted by the University of Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them.
The truly funny part of this is that The New Yorker is obviously describing creationists, but Klinghoffer pretends he doesn’t get it. Then he says:
Groan. But notice the irony. Most of the folks who condemn skeptics like us are, in fact, the ones that are unable to assimilate, process, or even just accurately restate counterarguments or counterevidence.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! It’s a classic example of Tu quoque (you too): “You’re calling me a poop head? Well I’m calling you a poop head! Nya, nya, nyaaaaah!” But that’s it for the attempt at humor. Then Klinghoffer gets serious — and that’s when he really gets funny. Let’s read on:
In principle, there’s no reason you couldn’t have a thoughtful person who rejects the case made by ID advocates or Darwin skeptics but nevertheless can explain in detail what that case is and why he thinks it fails. Yet critics like that are exceedingly rare.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! We’re supposed to explain why “the case made by ID advocates” fails? What case? The Discoveroids have no evidence for the existence of their designer, and no hope of explaining the designer’s methods. They have no data, no theory, and no hope of ever testing their ideas. They have nothing that requires disproving. All they have is their dislike of evolution — and science in general. It’s not our job to disprove their mystical babbling. It’s their job to disprove evolution. Klinghoffer should see our Advice for Creationists. He continues:
The opposite perspective is one of modesty, and something I’ve noticed in our science coverage here lately has been an appeal to evolution advocates to exercise a little of that overlooked virtue.
Yes, we should be more modest. When faced with a vast ocean of creationist drool, we should only say: “It looks like it may be a bit damp over there.”
Then Klinghoffer links to over a dozen Discoveroid “science” articles that he thinks point out problems that are “likely unsolvable in a materialist paradigm.” But it’s all God of the gaps stuff, claiming that their magical designer — blessed be he! — lurks in the gaps. After that he says:
Wouldn’t it be refreshing if an evolutionist came along and admitted:
[Recommended response from scientists, bracketed material in Klinghoffer’s original:] Look, I don’t buy the argument for intelligent design because [SUPPLY HERE A REASONABLE EVALUATION OF THE CASE FOR ID, REFLECTING A CAREFUL READING OF THE PRIMARY SOURCES]. But yeah, our account of how life arose without guidance or purpose faces considerable scientific challenges. We’re working on those and hope to get back to you within a certain, not unlimited time period.
Why — oh why? — don’t we behave the way Klinghoffer wants us to behave? All he’s asking is that we take the Discoveroids seriously. Here’s how he ends his essay [ellipsis in the original]:
Man, the humility to concede that matters are more complicated than your preferred position in a given debate would lead you to wish … What a concept!
So there you are, dear reader. Klinghoffer started out trying to be funny, and ended by reaching out to you. He’s extending the hand of friendship. All he asks is that you give the Discoveroids the respect he thinks they deserve. And while you’re at it, how about showing some respect for The Time Cube?
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