Creationist Wisdom #585: No Kin to Monkeys

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Lodi News-Sentinel of Lodi, California. It’s titled Humans are not descended from animals. The newspaper has a comments section.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name. Her first name is Olive. Excerpts from her letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

The headline from an article in the Los Angeles Times claimed “Evidence of first known murder — 430,000 years ago” — a date, of course picked out of thin air. The article was printed in the Lodi News-Sentinel on May 29, 2015.

This is the article that upset Olive: 430,000-year-old skull suggests murder is an ‘ancient human behavior’. It doesn’t mention how the evidence was dated. It’s about research published in PLOS One, Lethal Interpersonal Violence in the Middle Pleistocene, which says that the bones found at the site were dated, although no details are given. It’s doubtful, however, that the date was “picked out of thin air.” Then Olive says:

A paleoanthropologist at Binghamton University co-authored the report, which involved piecing together fragments of the skull of a hominid — whatever that is — and determining that he’d been dealt a forceful blow to the forehead, causing his death.

Although Olive doesn’t know what a hominid is, she continues with her critique of the discovery:

This is a fairy tale, of course, since bone that old would have disintegrated long ago.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! There’s no need to speculate about what Olive thinks of dinosaur fossils. She continues:

The myth of evolution is being perpetuated by those who cling to the theory that people evolved from animals.

Yes, and it’s such an offensive and degrading myth. Here’s more:

An anthropologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, commenting on this ancient murder said, “This study contributes to the debate that intentional assault between two people has deep roots in our ‘hominid’ human history.”

That’s from the L.A. Times story, but Olive improved it by putting the word “hominid” in scare quotes. Moving along:

On the contrary, people tend to be community-minded, reaching out to those hit by a natural disaster with personal assistance or through Red Cross, Salvation Army or other organizations.

Yeah, people are nice! We don’t engage in violence. Another excerpt:

The Bible tells us that mankind was created in God’s image, separate from animals. While animals can express feelings of hunger and anger through sounds they make, people communicate through spoken and written language.

Hey, that’s a good point! Animals don’t have a written language. On with the letter:

Beavers build dams and birds build nests for their own use, but humans build high-rise apartments and office buildings, bridges, cars and airplanes for everyone’s use.

Right again! We’re nothing like animals. And now we come to Olive’s undeniable conclusion:

No, we are not descended from some primeval creature.

So there you are. We ain’t no kin to no hominids — whatever they are — or any other animals. With all the evidence in Olive’s letter, there’s no way you can disagree with her.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #585: No Kin to Monkeys

  1. Olive is so wrong about so many things that it’s hard to believe she got one thing almost right. She would have been correct if she had inserted “other” in her title, because we are animals. You too, Olive.

  2. Opps, I meant to say:
    Olive is so wrong about so many things that it’s hard to believe she got one thing almost right. She would have been correct if she had inserted “other” in her title, because we are animals. You too, Olive.

    I’m sure readers will understand anyway, but perhaps the Curmudgeon can repair my errors.

    [*Voice from above*] I stretched forth my mighty hand …

  3. Well, Olive is sure overlooking a lot of circumstantial evidence, such as this little gem: Chimpanzees found to drink alcoholic plant sap in wild

    I am sure we have all at least witnessed (if not personally experienced) how close the simian kinship is evident in an inebriated human…

  4. She was right in questioning the use of the word “hominid”.
    “Hominid” is the informal designation of a member of the family Hominidae, the “great apes”, represented in the present by orangutans, gorillas, humans and chimpanzees.
    “Hominin” is the usual term for distinguishing Homo, Australopithicus, etc.

  5. Megalonyx says: “Well, Olive is sure overlooking a lot of circumstantial evidence”

    She obviously doesn’t know about you.

  6. Pete Moulton

    I think Olive has correctly determined that she ain’t kin to no animals. Her letter indicates much greater affinity to plants.

  7. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    There are days I despair our species. As I’m already having a bit of a bout with depression, I really really didn’t need this one.

  8. No, we are not descended from some primeval creature.

    Olive shouldn’t try to speak for all of us. Apparently she never met my great grandfather. (He was among the most primeval creatures I’ve ever known.)

  9. She was right in questioning the use of the word “hominid”.
    “Hominid” is the informal designation of a member of the family Hominidae, the “great apes”, represented in the present by orangutans, gorillas, humans and chimpanzees.
    “Hominin” is the usual term for distinguishing Homo, Australopithecus, etc.

    That may be the current usage, but it wasn’t that long ago that “hominid” was indeed used for Australopithecus etc. Since Olive is behind the times on so many other issues, why is it surprising that she’s not up to date on the latest preferences in paleontological nomenclature?

  10. She can’t even take ten seconds to look up a word. She is like Megan Fox – claiming something is wrong while admitting not to know anything about it

  11. Pete Moulton opines,
    “I think Olive has correctly determined that she ain’t kin to no animals. Her letter indicates much greater affinity to plants.”

    You just insulted all the forests of the world. Granted, like Olive, plants can’t reason either, but at least they sequester carbon and give us oxygen.

  12. This is off the topic of Olive’s letter. I hope it doesn’t give ammunition to creationists.

    About photos I’ve seen on line of that fossil she mentions: Why is it white, like a fresh skull cleaned of flesh? I spent some months exhuming bodies from cemeteries that were about to be flooded by a new dam, and all the bones were stained brown. Most fossils are much the same even if the bone has been mineralized to stone.

    Anyone with experience on archaeological digs who can enlighten me?

  13. Hey, let’s combine this with Ol’ Hambo’s “God wants it this way.” God wants us being capable of murdering each other. And he wants chimps to be that way as well.

    http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/09/18/chimpanzees-are-natural-born-killers-study-says-and-they-prefer-mob-violence/