When You’re Feeling Lonely …

Here’s something you may want to try. We found it at the PhysOrg website: Solitude breeds despair: Worm injects sperm into own head. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

From the shooting of sperm darts to post-coital cannibalism, there is not much that surprises researchers into the weird ways of animal sex.

And it’s all good! But here’s something new:

[O]n Wednesday, biologists said they have witnessed a behaviour so weird that it warrants scientific mention: a creature which procreates by jabbing a needle-like “penis” into its own head.

Glory to the intelligent designer! Want more information? Sure you do. Here it is:

The bizarre beast is a microscopic, water-dwelling flatworm dubbed Macrostomum hystrix, a team reported in the journal Proceedings of the Royal Society B. And they theorised it may have evolved the unconventional method of self-impregnation in order to procreate “under conditions of low mate availability.”

The paper in the Proceedings of the Royal Society B is here: Hypodermic self-insemination as a reproductive assurance strategy, but unless you have a subscription you can only read the abstract. Back to PhysOrg:

M. hystrix is a transparent worm about one millimetre (0.04 of an inch) long — a hermaphrodite with both male and female reproductive organs. Normally, they exchange sperm with others of their kind using a needle-like protrusion called a “stylet”, which pierces the partner’s outer body membrane in a method known to scientists as “traumatic wounding”.

A “stylet” — we like that! Here’s more:

But when sex partners are scarce, it seems, these worms can turn their stylets, located in the tail section, on themselves.

We don’t see anything wrong with that. One more excerpt:

The findings indicated that when deprived of a mate, M. hystrix self-injects sperm “including or even exclusively into their own head region,” said the team. The sperm migrates from there to the site of fertilisation in the centre of the tiny body.

So there you are. Now go forth, and do thou likewise.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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16 responses to “When You’re Feeling Lonely …

  1. Our Curmudgeon proposes

    Here’s something you may want to try.

    Categorically and unreservedly: No.

    We need only consider the outcome of your own sire’s indulgence in this unspeakable practise to know we must shun it….

  2. Well the one thing that can be said is the intelligent designer sure was imaginative!!!

  3. There once was a worm from Nantucket…

  4. Yes, obviously it was designed, no doubts about it. Discoveroids, comments?

  5. Diogenes' Lamp

    J. Fields beat me to it.

  6. Diogenes' Lamp

    See that? This whole “one man, one woman” thing is against nature

  7. Clearly, the warnings of YECs and IDers must be heeded: If you teach young people that they are animals, they will start acting like animals! Oh my!

  8. Charles Deetz ;)

    Donald Trump may have to use this method, the way people are staying clear of him these days.

  9. when deprived of a mate, M. hystrix self-injects sperm “including or even exclusively into their own head region,” said the team.

    Well, it could explain Casey Luskin …

  10. Finally! An explanation of the previously nonsensical epithet,
    “Go f**k yourself!”

  11. Dave Luckett

    Knew a bloke once reckoned he could do the very same thing when he was younger and more limber. Fact.

  12. @Prof. Tertius

    If you teach kids that it is for a purpose that they have been designed like animals …

  13. This little guy is a real d**khead.

  14. Diogenes' Lamp

    The abstract of this article is brief, but interesting:

    Macrostomum hystrix is $%&*ed in the head.

  15. God’s Nature is f###ed in the head.

  16. “Glory to the intelligent designer! Want more information? Sure you do.”

    Is this the mating call of the Discoveroids?