Creationist Wisdom #596: Don’t Need No Science!

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the NewsPress of Stillwater, Oklahoma. Actually, it’s a column, but we’ll treat it as a letter. It’s titled The one thing you don’t have to see to believe. The newspaper has a comments feature.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name. Her first name is Sandy, and the newspaper says she writes about family. Isn’t that nice?

Sandy doesn’t specifically say she’s a creationist, but you’ll see that it’s a safe assumption. Excerpts from her letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

I never was very good at science, geography or math. Come to think of it, the only class I didn’t sleep through was English. Who would have guessed, although my ears did perk up this week when they started talking about getting close enough to Pluto to take photos. I don’t need to see photos of the other planets to believe they really exist or there really aren’t any aliens. I just believe. I don’t need science to prove to me how the earth turns or stays on its axis. I just believe.

We are dealing with a major intellectual force here, dear reader. Let’s read on:

Being able to come up with theories about how Earth was created or how we exist is easy. The hard part is believing, without needing to have an explanation.

So true! And Sandy is good at it. She tells us:

I’m not carrying on about Pluto because I don’t care about science, I just don’t want to lose focus of the big picture.

Sandy cares only about the big picture. And what would that be? She continues:

As I listened to the report on Pluto, I thought of how grateful I am to have faith that God oversees everything on this planet and beyond. For goodness sake, how scary would it be if we were leaving it up to chance that the sun keeps shining or the Earth continues to rotate. Science may have an explanation of how it all works together, but if you don’t have faith God created the universe, I would think any other theory would keep you up at night.

Admit it, dear reader — she’s right! Here’s more:

It wasn’t that many years ago people would claim to be Christians just so they could be part of the group society looked up to. Nowadays it feel as though we’ll be ridiculed if we stand up and say,” I believe in God.” Sometimes it feels as though we’re losing the battle as teachers get into trouble for holding a prayer in school and there’s been grumblings about taking the words “In God We Trust” off coins and bills.

Yes, it’s an outrage! Moving along:

The stories in the Bible can be scary at times, especially when the people showed their lack of belief and faith. Sometimes God had to step in and turn their worlds upside down just to get them to listen.

Ah, that explains so much! Another excerpt:

No one can predict what God has planned for us individually, or as a nation, but I’m beginning to think he’s trying to tell us something and it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure it out.

Ooooooooooooooh — something bad may be coming! And this is how it ends:

Thank goodness we don’t have to travel 3 billion miles to prove God truly exists, all we have to do is look in the mirror and just believe.

Wonderful! We’ve seen creationists tell us that for evidence, all we need to do is look out the window, but this is the first time we’ve been told that the evidence is in the mirror. Nice letter, Sandy!

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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17 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #596: Don’t Need No Science!

  1. Did I read that correctly — Sandy thinks she’s god? Well, that’s more down to earth than a sky fairy — just someone looking into her bathroom mirror!

  2. Mark Germano

    …It is a tale
    Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury
    Signifying nothing.

  3. …we don’t have to travel 3 billion miles to prove God truly exists, all we have to do is look in the mirror and just believe.

    OK, that may work fine for Donald Trump, but what about the rest of us?

  4. Oh, goody she just has to believe. What a waster of space, meaning her life that is! 35 trillion cells looking for direction and they have someone asleep at the controls.

  5. I meant her life, oh Sensuous one please correct!

    [*Voice from above*] As you wish, so shall it be.

  6. I don’t need to see photos of the other planets to believe they really exist or there really aren’t any aliens.

    This is the bit that really boggles me. It’s, like, Non Sequitursville, dude.

    And I wonder how Sandy feels about photos of galaxies that are billions of lightyears distant. Do those, too, demonstrate to her that aliens don’t exist? “Well, gawshdarn, if there were aliens there surely we’d see a few streetlights?”

  7. @Prof Tertius

    Your comment made me roar with laughter. Many thanks!

  8. I don’t need to see photos of the other planets to believe they really exist or there really aren’t any aliens. I just believe.

    I don’t need science to prove to me how the earth turns or stays on its axis. I just believe.

    How does she conclude that there are no aliens? How does she know the earth turns on its axis? That’s not what the ancient bible writers thought, as well as for many, many centuries thereafter. After all, she slept through her science class. Then again, maybe she heard it through the grapevine.

  9. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    … and remember, according to Paul Nelson a whale is art. All you have to do is look and believe.

    Don’t need no science indeed.

  10. Dave Luckett

    But observe the implication: this is someone who first qualifies herself by disclaiming all knowledge of or interest in science. It’s a straightforward admission that these are the views of a scientific ignoramus, but even more importantly, one who thinks ignorance is bliss.

    It’s the last that really galls me. She knows absolutely nothing of which she speaks, knows that she knows nothing, and leapfrogs over that nothing into certainties. I find that certainty chilling.

    She’s probably like Earth – mostly harmless. But still, that leap from nothing into certainty is almost diagnostic of either idiocy or fanaticism. God, if He’s there at all, preserve us from people who are certain that they’re right.

  11. Sandy says, “Arf!” No, wait — “The hard part is believing, without needing to have an explanation.”

    Got that right, Sandy. One cannot will one’s self to believe. Either the evidence (or explanation) is sufficient for you to accept an idea or concept as true, or it’s not sufficient.

    So, what evidence do you have that makes you BELIEVE your God created the universe? Because the Bible says so? Ok, then — what evidence do you have that the Bible is correct? Because somebody in authority — a preacher, your parents, a Sunday school teacher — told you so? Did you ask them what evidence they had that the Bible was correct? Probably not. They probably just told you if you don’t believe, you won’t go to heaven, so like a good little girl, you said, “I believe! I believe!”

    And it’s a good bet you have never examined your beliefs at any time since.

  12. Just believe and Tinkerbell will recover!

  13. Holding The Line In Florida

    It hurts! Make it go away! Reminds me of some of my students!

  14. This is the best crack pot letter in a while, SC. She needs an “Ignorant and PROUD!” T- Shirt or something. She’s basically pushing for the schools to be used to provide religious services for the captive audience school children, but is too lazy to go herself. “This Christianity is great stuff, helps me get to sleep at night, answers all the questions of the universe, but not worth an hour of my time every week.”
    Her comment about sleeping through science showcases her lack of intellectual curiosty, and reminds me of something similar on youtube that is similar but the opposite or sleeping through science.
    Sometimes youtube mixes up astrology and astronomy related topics in their recommendations. So I clicked on a video series (“Plantary Report”) by new age guru Jim Self a mix of chakras, angels, and of course astrology. It didn’t take me long to realize that the videos weren’t for me, yet his voice so relaxing I had to listen. I soon found myself in slumberland and discovered that I could use this a cure for insomnia. I found the content of his video so inane and nonsensical that I had no curiousity about the content, and along with his calm monotonous drone I could turn off my mind and just sleep. So skeptics that need help sleeping worrying that the sun will stop shining and the Earth stop rotating there ya go.

  15. Holding The Line In Florida says, “It hurts! Make it go away! Reminds me of some of my students!”

    Oh, I feel your pain, Bro! I was thinking the exact same thing. Being retired, the saving grace is that there are enough students who are fondly remembered that the pain is lessened.

  16. …And speaking of the DI, I think they will very soon weigh in on a new academic freedom issue. http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/07/19/creationists-take-down-another-top-professor.html

  17. Another testament letter, the evangelical equivalent to urinating on a crowd.