Creationist Wisdom #598: Nation Under God

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Oroville Mercury-Register of Oroville, California, a town famous for the 1881 lynching of Tom Noacks, who had killed an elderly pioneer, Jack Crum, by stomping him to death. Noacks had been known for punching oxen in the head, like Mongo in Blazing Saddles.

The letter is titled America needs to become a godly nation again. The newspaper has a comments feature, but there aren’t any yet.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote her by using her full name. Her first name is Marjorie. Excerpts from her letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

America was found [sic] as a nation under God and grew to be the most blessed and greatest nation ever on the face of the earth.

Is that how America was founded? Not quite — see Is America a “Christian Nation”? Building on her “founded as a nation under God” premise, Marjorie declares:

But now, as we turn away from the God of our forefathers, we are sliding downhill, becoming more and more immoral, losing our standing in the world. With our lack of godly leadership, we owe trillions of dollars to other countries, China and Russia to name two. Many of our families are breaking up.

It’s all because of “our lack of godly leadership.” We found an interesting article at a website with which we’re not familiar that claims there were originally Limitations on Clergy Holding Office. That article, which we haven’t checked, says:

[A] number of early state constitutions prohibited clergy themselves from holding various political offices. Seven of the original thirteen states imposed such restrictions, and six other states that entered the union in the early decades of the nineteenth century also included such restrictions. These restrictions took various forms, but most commonly prohibited clergy from being in the state legislature. Several states went further and prohibited clergy from holding any statewide office.

If that’s true, the people who founded America didn’t agree with Marjorie. But wait — she has even more complaints:

Our schools are teaching evolution as a scientific fact, neglecting to mention all the questions they cannot answer. Noah’s flood answers lots of questions.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Let’s read on:

Many scientists are now seeing intelligent design in creation. For instance, what did it take to make male and female?

Obviously that required a miracle. Marjorie continues:

Believers in Darwin’s theory of evolution make it seem realistic. They don’t mention that the cambrian layer contains only complex animals and none of the transitional life forms it is supposed to contain. They think anything goes if given enough billions of years.

The fools! Here’s more:

When figuring the years according to the Bible, our universe was created only 6,000 years ago. They would rather find some other reason for our existence than have God telling them how to live. It is now politically incorrect for our kids to sing “God Bless America” in their classrooms.

What’s to be done? Marjorie tells us in the conclusion of her powerful letter:

We love you, America. Wake up and see what is happening to you. Return to your God so he can once again bless you.

You should listen to Marjorie, dear reader. She knows what she’s talking about.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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12 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #598: Nation Under God

  1. Marj you are not too smart! Using your letter as evidence of this.
    Also what morals in the buyBull do you follow? Not fair to pick don’t steal or kill as these are common to all! Like how many slav e do you have? How many divorced wimen have you stoned? We wont even mention the gays! Have you turned your back on your family & given away everything to follow jesus??? I thought NOT!!!! Take your book o’BS and put it where the light is very dim!

  2. Dave Luckett

    Noah’s Flood does answer lots of questions, by golly! Questions like “What sort of wood has the tensile strength of titanium steel?”; “How tall is a gopher tree?”; “Just how hard can it rain?” and, of course, “What sort of deranged psychopath would do this, anyway?” (The answer to the last is “Our kind”.)

    One question it doesn’t answer is why anyone would believe it’s possible in the first place. To believe it, you have to shut down your reason, but what interests me even more is why anyone who managed that trick would worship any deity this murderous. To do that, you’d not only have to switch your mind off, you’d have to trash and set fire to anything in you that resembles a set of morals. And these are the people who want to tell us how to run a country. The further they can be kept from power, the better.

  3. James St. John

    > “the cambrian layer contains only complex animals
    > and none of the transitional life forms it is supposed
    > to contain.”
    Gotta love these non-geologists who think they know geology. There is no such thing as a “cambrian layer”. There is a “Cambrian System” and a “Cambrian Period”.

    The Cambrian is not “supposed to contain” anything – it has what it has. Complex animals are not the only thing in Cambrian sedimentary rocks – sponges are there (parazoans – simple animals by anyone’s definition), algae are there, bacteria are there.

    By the way, every single fossil in the rock record is a transitional life form, representing the transition from something to something else.

    If you’re referring to a chimeric monster as a transitional life form, check out Halkieria – it’s a stem group organism for several modern phyla.

    Majorly-uneducated Marjorie here needs to stop pushing Bronze Age superstitious nonsense and go to school. And pay attention for once.

  4. @James St. John: Hear, hear!

  5. I wonder how many crayons the writer wore out writing that diatribe?

  6. @James St. John: excellent! (But I bet she won’t understand any of what you said). And you always know that when someone leads off with a statement about “America was found [sic] as a nation under God…” that they haven’t read or understood the Constitution of the United States.

  7. Great Scot!

    “She knows what she’s talking about” – No, no she really doesn’t.

  8. I looked up Marjorie on Intelius…I don’t know is it cool to pick on an old lady in her 80s? (Even if she is woefully wrong and barely literate.)

    That’s interesting about clergy restrictions about holding office. Such a restriction would only make sense if there was a state church. Since the state shouldn’t recognize any church as being official, “clergy” itself becomes more of an honorary and self given title.

  9. michaelfugate

    It is always interesting how people think that if we just rolled back the clock to some earlier time all would be well. The problem is people at said earlier time were saying the exact same thing.

    I am sure Marjorie would love not being able to vote, or drive a car, or have electricity, or refrigeration, or television, or indoor plumbing or many other things.

    Ah if we were only naked in the garden and there were no snakes…. we could be ignorant and happy.

  10. “America was found as a nation under God”
    As a total outsider I like this suggestion. The name of this god was of course Manitou, when the nation to be called America was found by some Tommies and cheeseheads.

    “as we turn away from the God of our forefathers”
    So we can expect Marjorie to pray to Manitou from now on.

    “With our lack of godly leadership”
    Yes. It’s time to put some indegenous folks in the White House. Get out your peace pipes!

    Troy’s conscience kicks up a row: ” is it cool to pick on an old lady in her 80s?”
    No, it isn’t. But it would be discrimination not to do it just because of that reason.

  11. I suppose I’m marginalizing Marjorie. I imagine her shaky hands struggling to hold an old beat up pen that she has to torment against the paper to get ink to flow, as she gazes at a piece of yellowed paper under a large magnifying glass. She scrawls her letter to the editor in large wavering printed letters. She then struggles to her stationery set, her dry tongue barely able to lick the stamp as she sets it askew in the corner of the envelope pressing it down with a limp fist. I have to wonder is her opinion even relevant?

  12. No, but neither are yours or mine.