We beg your indulgence, dear reader, as we digress a bit to bring some current news into this humble blog. We promise to swiftly return to our usual subject matter, but we couldn’t resist doing this.
Everyone knows about the American dentist who recently killed Cecil, the African lion who lived in the Hwange National Park in Zimbabwe. The dentist allegedly lured Cecil out of the sanctuary and then shot him with an arrow.
The incident has aroused global outrage. Even the Discovery Institute has posted about it — see From the Perspective of Intelligent Design, Killing Cecil the Lion Was an Act of Egregious Vandalism. David Klinghoffer, the Discoveroids’ journalistic slasher and poo flinger, says:
What the Minnesota dentist did was a most egregious act of vandalism. Acknowledging the evidence of intelligent design means recognizing the purpose and artistry in nature. … No human artist will ever outclass [lions]. Imagine seeking to DNA-engineer an improved lion! Perhaps with enhanced nobility?
Verily, only the intelligent designer — blessed be he! — could create a lion. Of course the Discoveroids are furious at the dentist’s act of blasphemy. Well, if the Discoveroids can digress from their usual material to discuss Cecil, we can do the same.
The fury over Cecil is nothing compared to what will happen when the news breaks about what your Curmudgeon has just done. Everyone knows about Barney the dinosaur, the beloved character who has been entertaining children for more than 20 years. But in our humble opinion, Barney had to go.
Why? It’s because your Curmudgeon is an evolutionist. We know that the dinosaurs went extinct 65 million years ago, and therefore couldn’t allow Barney to live. His existence contradicted Darwinism!
So your Curmudgeon stalked the beast. When we spotted him in a television studio, we lured him away with candy and children’s songs. He followed, smiling and dancing. Stupid beast! Then, when we had him to ourselves, we raised our weapon, shouted “Die, Barney, die!” and let loose the fatal arrow.
We did it for Darwin, and we’re glad.
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