Investment Advice from Ken Ham

There is some great, timeless wisdom to be found today at the blog of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. He’s famed for his creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG) and for the mind-boggling Creation Museum.

Ol’ Hambo has just posted What Is the Greatest Investment You Can Make? We know you’re looking for investment advice from the world’s holiest man, who understands the bible and science better than everyone else, so we’ll get right into it. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us for emphasis:

I believe the greatest investment we can ever make is this: one that affects hearts and minds for eternity!

We at Answers in Genesis are so thankful for our dedicated donors who partner with us to help us spread the message of biblical authority and reliability, and the gospel. This is so important in a time when secularists and the media are increasingly attacking the truth and accuracy of God’s Word, especially in Genesis. And we can only do what we do in equipping the church because of the generosity of our supporters.

Are you paying attention, dear reader? Hambo needs your money to continue his wonderful work! He tells us:

Now, did you know that we have what are called “planned giving” opportunities? These options make partnering with us in spreading the creation/gospel message easier than ever.

Hey — that’s great news! Let’s read on:

With your help, we are working to strengthen the church and provide answers to the skeptical questions of this age to help children, teens, and adults not to doubt (and subsequently disbelieve) the Word of God. We also challenge non-Christians concerning the truth of God’s Word and the gospel.

Hambo is fighting the good fight. It brings tears to your eyes, doesn’t it? He continues:

More than ever, we need to equip parents and the church, especially to teach young people to stand on the authority of God’s Word from the very beginning

The need is greater now more than ever! Besides, the End Times will soon be upon us, so what are you hoarding your money for? Hambo needs it, and he needs it now! Here’s more:

In today’s day and age over two-thirds of young people by college age are walking away from the church and often the faith. Sadly, those young people who are remaining are so influenced by the world that there is little difference in much of their thinking than that of a secular person.

That’s horrible! What can be done? Hambo says:

These young people need to be taught how to think biblically with a firm foundation, beginning in Genesis. And you can partner with us to help us do that!

Ooooooooooh — that’s the solution! And you can partner with Hambo! One more excerpt:

There are a variety of ways to plan for your family and loved ones, while supporting the work of the Lord with a bequest through your will or living trust, a charitable gift annuity, charitable remainder trust, and other planning options. We encourage you to learn more about the many benefits of making a planned gift.

Then there’s a link where you can get all the information you need to give your money to Hambo. Click over there. Give to Hambo. Give it all! Do it now! It’s the obvious answer to the question in Hambo’s title: What Is the Greatest Investment You Can Make?

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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22 responses to “Investment Advice from Ken Ham

  1. More than ever, we need to equip parents and the church, especially to teach young people to stand on the authority of God’s Word from the very beginning

    I think this is called brainwashing, 1984 style.

    Planned giving? When you die give your estate to Ken Ham, not your family.

  2. “It brings tears to your eyes, doesn’t it?”
    Sure, but for another reason you seem to imply here, my dear SC.
    It’s so pathetic that Ol’Hambo now falls back on medieval language to keep his ark afloat (a metaphor! – Ol’Hambo might have infected me) that I have tears in my eyes indeed. I’m just not sure yet if those tears come from pity, from schadenfreude or from fun. Perhaps a mixture.
    What we see here is Ol’Hambo’s very own version of

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jubilee_(Christianity)

    and

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indulgence

    A fundie going catholic …. yeah, that brings some more tears to my eyes. Let me honour Ol’Hambo:

  3. Hambone assures us: “In today’s day and age over two-thirds of young people by college age are walking away from the church and often the faith.” I hope he’s right; it sounds like a good idea to me.

  4. Ham:
    “More than ever, we need to equip parents and the church, especially to teach young people to stand on the authority of God’s Word from the very beginning”

    David K rightly says, “I think this is called brainwashing, 1984 style.”

    I think the following quote of Ken Ham says “brainwashing” even more clearly —
    “These young people need to be taught how to think biblically with a firm foundation, beginning in Genesis.”

    I would edit that line as follows:
    “These young people need to be taught how to think biblically with a firm foundation, beginning in Genesis.”

  5. It’s pretty disgusting that he’s stooped to guilt-tripping old folks into giving him all their money. He’s clearly fishing for someone with lots of money and very little family to give him a few million dollars in one nice lump. I think it’s a good sign though, as it shows the mentality he caters to is dying out and the only ones he can hope to appeal to (in a “give us your millions” way) are the very old.

  6. Hey, this is totally unrelated but how do I send an email to the Sensuous Curmudgeon? I cannot work out how to do it and I have a letter to schools from the Discovery Institute that he/she might be interested in reading.
    Any help, please?

  7. @GerryC: I think we’d all be interested in that letter. Please share.

  8. I smell another excellent article for this nice blog!

  9. Why can they only operate with the generosity of their supporters? Doesn’t Yahweh own the cattle on a thousand hills.

  10. The generosity of the supporters is for the benefit of the supporters. When you give alms to a beggar, you should thank the beggar for providing the opportunity to do good …

    Er, excuse me, there is a difficulty, for doing good works is not efficacious.

    How does it differ from selling indulgences?

  11. Doctor Stochastic

    Is he suggesting pork bellies?

  12. cnocspeireag

    “In today’s day and age over two-thirds of young people by college age are walking away from the church and often the faith.” What’s wrong with education in the US? How did they miss the other 30% or so?

  13. Dave Luckett

    I love the little slippage:

    “we are working to strengthen the church”

    No, they’re not. Ken Ham and sons are not the church. Most Christians, and even quite a few evangelicals, won’t have a bar of them. What Ken Ham Enterprises is working to do, both in this instance and generally, is to strengthen the financial position of Ken Ham.

    Do you want to know what would strengthen the church? Not what Ken’s about. Ask him: where are the poor that you have helped, the hungry that you have fed, the homeless you have housed, the ragged you have clothed? Where are the widows that you support, the orphans that you care for? How many broken soldiers do you shelter? What do you do for prisoners, or for those sick in body or in mind?

    Those are important questions. Just as important is this one: how do these outgoings compare with what AiG and your other enterprises pay you and your family members, in real terms, in cash and in kind?

    “Working to strengthen the church”, yet. Ham’s doing just exactly the reverse. Every pitch like this one weakens it a little more. I suppose I should be applauding. It’s just a personal quirk, a relic of my upbringing, that it makes me angry instead.

  14. @cnocspeireag
    That is 2/3 of the people of college age, not of people going to college.

  15. Ironically, even if someone wanted to invest in saving souls with a religious theme park, the ark experience would be a poor investment. 30 years out is the ark park still going to be a flourishing tourist attraction? I suspect it will be more like Holy Land USA. The fact that Hambo has successfully hawked what seems to me the most boring experience in the Creation museum gives his endeavor a glimmer of hope, but I know eventually it’s going down.

  16. Charles Deetz ;)

    Very typical language from a ministry appealing for moola. Lots of these groups make appeals to churches directly, sharing how they help with their mission, to get them to donate, or pass along their request to their people. Even the brainwashing statements are de rigueur.

    What is confounding to us is that Hambo’s appeal that extreme creationism is a solution to capturing those who the churches are losing. You don’t reel people in with the nutty stuff.

  17. Hambo at his carnival barker best!

  18. It should be recognized that there IS a certain demographic that remains enthusiastic about the Hamite endeavour. The rate of donation to Ark encounter has picked up considerably after they actually started building the thing, and the stated goal of 29.5 million may be reached within a couple of years (they passed 20 million this summer). I earlier calculated that it would take considerably longer, but there has turned out to be a reservoir of fundie cash that Ham is now tapping into, big time.

    I take it for granted that post-Ark, he will be begging for even more cash to build the next “phases” of Hamboland. I believe the Tower of Babel is going to be the next addition to the park. But that may be a slightly harder sell to fundamentalists. Can we imagine the fundraising campaign “Help build the Tower of Babel”? Some evangelicals may be slightly uneasy about that one … the Ark was built on Yahweh’s command, but the Tower of Babel was NOT!

  19. I can’t attach the Discovery Institute letter here so I copied and pasted it below. It may not be formatted correctly but you will be able to get the gist of the letter. “The Wedge” at work, methinks.

    “Dear Superintendent XXXX,

    In 2008, the Louisiana State Legislature passed the Louisiana Science Education Act (LSEA) to accurately and objectively teach controversial scientific topics. We are staff members at Discovery Institute, the nation’s leading non-profit organization that promotes objective education in evolution-instruction in public schools. The LSEA is loosely based upon model legislation developed by scholars working with Discovery Institute. Recently, opponents of the LSEA, especially those in the media, have promoted an immense amount of misinformation about the aims and intent behind the LSEA. This letter is to clarify the true purpose of the LSEA,
    what it protects, and what it does not protect.

    Passed by an overwhelmingly bipartisan majority of the Louisiana State Legislature, the LSEA aims to instill the values of freedom of inquiry and scientific objectivity. The LSEA encourages an objective scientific presentation of the scientific evidence for and against controversial
    theories taught in the curriculum. As seen in Section (B)(1) from the LSEA below, this includes topics such as evolution, global warming, or human cloning:

    B(1) The State Board of Elementary and Secondary Education, upon request of a city, parish, or other local public school board, shall allow and assist teachers, principals, and other school administrators to create and foster an environment within public elementary and secondary schools that promotes critical thinking skills, logical analysis, and open and objective discussion of scientific theories being studied including, but not limited to,
    evolution, the origins of life, global warming, and human cloning.

    As regards evolution, the LSEA permits teachers to teach about both the scientific evidence for and against Darwinian evolution, but does not protect the teaching of religious alternatives to evolution like creationism. A copy of the LSEA is attached, and Section D of the law states:

    D. This Section shall not be construed to promote any religious doctrine, promote discrimination for or against a particular set of religious beliefs, or promote discrimination for or against religion or nonreligion.

    According to a number of federal court decisions, creationism is illegal to teach in public schools.1 Since creationism is a religious belief, its teaching is not protected by the LSEA.2

    Intelligent design (ID) is different from creationism. The theory of intelligent design holds that certain features of the universe and of living things are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as natural selection. But the LSEA says nothing about ID, and merely encourages “critical thinking skills, logical analysis, and open and objective discussion of scientific theories being studied.” In that regard, the LSEA only protects objective instruction regarding topics that are already part of the curriculum. Since ID is not part of the curriculum anywhere in Louisiana, ID does not come under the law.

    The best way to use the LSEA is to teach both the scientific evidence for and against neo-Darwinian evolution in public schools. Please note that simply discussing the scientific evidence for and against Darwinian evolution is different from affirmatively teaching some alternative viewpoint, like creationism or intelligent design.

    Finally, please note that “open and objective discussion” of evolution does not imply merely critiquing evolution. Objectivity requires that students learn about both the evidence for and against evolution. We have included with this letter some FAQs which discuss further how to best teach the evidence for and against evolution.

    The science curriculum of the State of Louisiana is standards-based and founded upon the philosophy that “[s]cience education in Louisiana must prepare students to become informed citizens who have acquired the necessary scientific and technological knowledge and skills to function responsibly in the global community of the 21st century” and therefore “[i]t is essential that everyone involved in science education provide an opportunity for all students to become scientifically literate and reflective of the inherent nature of scientific knowledge, methods, and processes.”3 The LSEA is an ideal tool to fulfill these educational requirements of the Louisiana state science framework.

    We would be happy to assist to you and your colleagues with further information in this area, and would be glad to recommend supplementary curriculum materials as well for properly implementing the LSEA. We hope you will contact us further after you have reviewed this material.

    Thank you for your time.

    Sincerely,
    Sarah Chaffee
    Program Officer, Education and Public Policy
    Center for Science and Culture, Discovery Institute

  20. HK, it’s all in how you sell it. Even calling it the “Tower of Babel EXHIBIT” takes some of the sting out of building the verboten tower.