Rev. David Rives: Jonah & the Mid-Atlantic Ridge

The Drool-o-tron™ summoned us with its sirens and flashing lights. The blinking letters of its wall display said WorldNetDaily (WND). Our computer was locked onto WND’s presentation of the latest video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries.

WND’s thrilling headline was Did Jonah see mountains in depths of sea? It’s sub-titled: “David Rives illustrates scientific wisdom in Scripture.”

Jonah? The guy who was swallowed by a great fish? That is absolutely amazing. According to Wikipedia, undersea mountain ranges like the Mid-Atlantic Ridge weren’t discovered until recently. They say:

The ridge was discovered during the expedition of HMS Challenger in 1872. A team of scientists on board, led by Charles Wyville Thomson, discovered a large rise in the middle of the Atlantic while investigating the future location for a transatlantic telegraph cable. The existence of such a ridge was confirmed by sonar in 1925 … .

Is it possible that the existence of such formations was already disclosed in the bible? The rev says yes! The title of his 90-second video is Jonah’s Underwater Mountains, and it will stun you!

Jonah said: “I went down to the bottom of the mountains.” The bible has always been saying what we’ve only recently figured out. Everything worth knowing is in the bible! Isn’t that wonderful?

The rev isn’t wearing one of his bible-boy suits — just a blazer without a necktie — but he’s the cutest rev you’ve ever seen! . Go ahead, click over to WND and watch his video. You’ll be amazed!

As we always do with the rev’s videos, we dedicate the comments section for your use as an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. You know the rules. Okay, the comments are open. Go for it!

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “Rev. David Rives: Jonah & the Mid-Atlantic Ridge

  1. But Jonah didn’t need to go to all that trouble with the giant fish, he could have just caught a flight to Reykjavik: The Mid-Atlantic Ridge in Iceland

  2. Charles Harris

    Check out Rev John Pearrell’s article this week. He says Dawkins uses an ad hominem argument. But his article of July 31 says “Primary reason for choosing atheism is to justify wrong actions” which is clearly an ad hominem argument. This Rev has no clue.


  3. And jonah saw these mountains HOW!?!?! Thru the view port on the side of the big fish???? And if this is wonderful buyBull science then why didn’t the dimwit buyBull scholars tell the scientists to look for big mountains under the oceans???

  4. It’s both amusing and disturbing to see how these desperate people will twist any biblical story to try to give scientific credence to their iron age myth. They are clearly frightened of the modern day implications for their ancient fairy tale.

  5. Rev. Rives needs his Bible-Reading License revoked. It really bugs me that many centuries of theologians and Bible scholars had no problems understanding what even the ancients understood: the seacoasts often revealed (and the low-tides exposed) the same kinds of elevations and depressions found on land. They also understood that various islands were simply mountains anchored under water. Mariners understood the hazards of undersea mountains and recorded them on their maps–and the ancients even erected lighthouses nearby to mark such dangers.

    Thus, ancient poets and storytellers had no difficulty including such language in their songs and epics. Yet, because YECers like the Rev. have so little classical education or even basic knowledge of history, they are always trying to generate something spectacular out of various unsurprising features in the Hebrew scriptures that could easily be found in many other societies of the ancient world. So, I thank the S.C. (interesting be he) for yet another example to add to my notes.

    Does one have to be ignorant of science, classical studies, and ancient history to be a “creation scientist”? No….but it certainly helps.

  6. Case in point, and speaking of ignorance and illogical nonsense from “creation scientists”, I’ve collected some real doozies from Mark Armitage’s mind-numbing Youtube videos. You may remember him for his lawsuit against California State University after they fired him for a number of foolish and unprofessional behaviors on his part while servicing their laboratory microscopes. Apparently he’s trying to spin his 15 minutes of fame into a place of his own in the Young Earth Creationism industry as yet another hopeful entrepreneur. And what better way to do that than to play the martyr and attack born-again Christian Dr. Mary Schweitzer for allegedly “selling out to the evolutionists” by following the evidence where it leads instead of using her soft tissue discoveries to place dinosaurs contemporaneous with humans! (I’ve always said that “evil atheists who are scientists” are hated by YECs like Armitage but not nearly as much as YECists leaders hate Christians who refuse to drink the YEC cool-aide [sic]. Yes, I intentionally use that spelling so as to avoid bad-mouthing the powder-derived drink.)

    He’s even got one soliciting your financial support for his crowd-funded (he hopes) “dinosaur soft tissue research center.” If you feel like a few laughs or you just want to see a few of his neuron-destroying assaults on human dignity, I’ve listed my favorites excerpts and links at:

  7. The Good Rev (yup, this video is so well done he’s got my favour again) hasn’t explored all the possibilities yet. No matter what Third Prof says, obviously the ancients didn’t have scuba gear yet. Now click the link so kindly provided by Mega and scroll down a lot: you’ll find a picture of a diver wearing such gear. What does it look like? Exactly, a great fish! The Bible wins again. When Jonah was thrown overboard the Lord HImself gave him such gear. It’s a miracle! and hence not only the Heavens, but also the Depths of the Seven Seas declare His Glory.

  8. Mountain ranges are often created through continental collisions OR subduction of oceanic crust under continental crust.
    The Atlantic mid oceanic ridge is more a low relief band of basaltic lave flows.
    If Jonah’s whale went down to the mid oceanic ridge in its poor digestion wanderings, one has to wonder how o’l Jonah got a glimpse of said ridges
    at thousands of feet below sea level well below the photic zone where light penetrates.
    Oh wait I forgot.
    Its a miracle!!! hallelujah.

  9. Of course, if a man were swallowed by a “great fish” he’d be thoroughly digested in three days and three nights (Monstro the Whale, with his cavernous air-filled interior, doesn’t exist)–but not before suffocating to death.

  10. Dave Luckett

    Jonah echoes the beliefs of his time: that the earth was a disc suspended in a great sea. This sea was under the earth and arched over the earth in a kind of bubble held up by God. Hence, there were “fountains of the deep” that would rise up if they were unstopped; “windows of Heaven” that would let this enormous ocean in if they were opened. That’s what caused the flood.

    Well, it makes perfect sense. Water falls out of the sky, which is the same blue as the sea; water is often found if you dig. It must follow that it is both under our feet and above our heads.

    So Jonah was actually under the roots of the mountains, in the uttermost depths of the sea, actually under the earth. That’s why he also refers to Sheol, which was usually also thought to be under the earth.

    Get this: he doesn’t say that there are undersea mounts, although it wouldn’t have been impossible for him to have known of them. He certainly doesn’t say that there is a ridge in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. It’s conceivable that he had heard of the Atlantic: the great ocean that surrounds the earth. But as far as the writer of Jonah knew, it didn’t have a middle, because it went on forever.

  11. @Dave Luckett
    Yes. The “down to the bottom of the mountains” does not say anything about there being undersea mounts. If it had said something like “the mountains of the bottom”, then maybe. This belongs somewhere “Through The Looking-Glass”.

  12. Ceteris Paribus

    Fortunately, the adult David Rives now relies solely on the truth of his bible for all information about what happens on the depths of the waters. There had been dark rumors that at a much earlier age young Davie believed in science, and as a result cruelly dispatched his entire collection of rubber duckies on various ill-fated expeditions to explore the bottom of his bath tub.

  13. Charles Deetz ;)

    Round trip to the ridge in a fish in just three days? And he could see thru the fish? It isn’t enough of a miracle that he survived, that the Rev is just adding stuff on that is equally miraculous.

  14. As if the whole Jonah story wasn’t preposterous enough, Lil’ Davey ups the incredibility factor about five notches. And these biblical literalists actually expect people to believe these tales?!?

    I can really feel for you, Professor Tertius. These buffoons are making a mockery of your beloved book. And they don’t even realize it.