Ken Ham Is Surprised, Shocked, and Saddened

We know it distresses you, dear reader, to learn about something that has upset Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. He’s famed for his creationist ministry, Answers in Genesis (AIG), and for the mind-boggling Creation Museum.

A holy, all-knowing man like Hambo should be in a continuous state of spiritual ecstasy. Nevertheless, our duty is to report what we learned at ol’ Hambo’s website. He just posted Surprised, Shocked, and Saddened over Statistics on Twenty-Somethings. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

If I told you the following statistics about a certain group of people, who would you guess I’m talking about?

• Over 40% say they are not born again.
• 35% declare the Bible has errors (or they don’t know if it has errors).
• Close to 90% attend or attended public school.
• Over 45% say that Sunday school did not teach them to defend their faith.
• 45% say homosexual behavior is not a sin, or they don’t know if it is a sin.
• 40% believe “gay couples” should be allowed to “marry” and have legal rights.
• 20% say there are books (other than the Bible) that are inspired by God.
• 65% believe that if you are a good person you will go to heaven.

Egad — what a horrible bunch of statistics! What contemptible group of people would say such things? Hambo explains:

Would you be surprised to learn that this nationwide research was conducted with people in their 20s?

Gasp! How can this be? Let’s read on:

And would it shock you even more to discover that these same people regularly attend our churches today (at least three times a month)?

Oh no! This is horrible! Hambo continues:

Then you should be saddened to realize that these millennials in our churches (those born between the early 1980s and the early 2000s) are largely biblically illiterate, and they are going to fundamentally change the church and culture if their beliefs continue to take hold.

This is an outrage! Here’s more:

At the end of 2014, we commissioned America’s Research Group (ARG) to analyze the state of the 20s age group (and also the 40s) in our churches in the USA, and what we discovered was shocking (and I believe it reflects the state of the church in the Western world in general). The survey’s results greatly sadden me.

It’s no wonder Hambo is saddened. Those people will never be customers for Hambo’s creation museum or his “life size” replica of the Ark! Moving along:

Our research also conclusively showed that the issue of the age of the Earth/universe was one of the major factors that has caused this generation in American churches to doubt that the Bible can be trusted.

It’s all because of those wretched Darwinists and their millions of years! Another excerpt:

Aren’t you as deeply troubled and tremendously burdened as I am when you read these sad statistics about the millennials who attend our churches? Looking at this 20s age group in our churches today, we need to recognize that the future leaders of society will come out of this group. The spiritual state of these young adults provides a glimpse into the future of America!

And it’s a truly frightening glimpse. What’s to be done about this abominable situation? The remaining half of Hambo’s post discusses three books he wrote. You can click over there to read that for yourself. Here’s how the article ends:

I challenge parents (particularly dads) to take the leadership in their children’s education and recognize what needs to be done to help the children God has entrusted to them to build a biblical worldview.

We know that you all join with your Curmudgeon in wishing Hambo well in his great task.

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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22 responses to “Ken Ham Is Surprised, Shocked, and Saddened

  1. 65% believe that if you are a good person you will go to heaven.

    Heresy, burn them at the stake for not knowing that following Hambone is only way into heaven!

  2. Biblically illiterate? Not hating on the gays? Attending church? The horror! Let’s get those poor souls into the most Biblically literate group in the country (go atheists!) and get them out of those pews before they contaminate something.

  3. Derek Freyberg

    Meanwhile, the Hamster continues bravely to lead the First Church of the Extremely Credulous into building a non-floating ark in Kentucky.
    When I saw the caption for this post, I thought it was going to be something about the AIG vs. Kentucky litigation on tax credits; so I guess I will have to be “surprised, shocked, and saddened” as well.
    Hey, did you notice that Kenny boy uses the Oxford comma?

  4. Well, this dad has taken the leadership in the education of his children, which means I’m keeping them as far away from any church as I can, until they have reached an age where they can think and decide for themselves if the tales of Ken Ham and his ilk are anything worth believing.

    As to the results of this survey, I can only see progress!

  5. • Over 40% say they are not born again.

    I’m surprised that over 50% consider themselves born again. Ham should be ecstatic!

  6. Derek Freyberg
    “Meanwhile, the Hamster continues bravely to lead the First Church of the Extremely Credulous”

    Is that the name of his church? I thought it was the Fundamentalist Union of Christians in Kentucky.

  7. “65% believe that if you are a good person you will go to heaven.”

    Does that mean:
    a) 45% believe that if you are a good person you will not go to heaven?
    or
    b) 45% believe that if you are a bad person you will go to heaven?

  8. Only if your math is bad, Mark (100-65=35). Sorry, couldn’t resist.

    No, the other 35% believe that your arrival at the Pearly Gates isn’t contingent on whether you were a good person or a bad person or simply indifferent. If you said the Magic Words of Conversion, you go to Heaven.

  9. All of those future wage earners, all that disposable income, not committed to Ken’s financial future. The numbers should be expected to cause a negative emotional response from K.H.

  10. If I told you the following statistics about a certain group of people, who would you guess I’m talking about?

    • Over 40% say they are not born again.
    • 35% declare the Bible has errors (or they don’t know if it has errors).
    • Close to 90% attend or attended public school.

    I’m shocked, shocked, that almost 60 percent say they are bawn agin and that 65 percent are sure the Bible is absolutely inerrant. I’m reassured that 90 percent attend or attended public schools where they won’t have to accept fundamentalist dogma as true science and history or be verbally and/or physically abused. (Having for several years attended a Seventh-Day Adventist elementary school, I can testify–yea, brethren, verily–that this happens routinely.)

  11. Just to be clear, unlike Casablanca‘s Capt. Renault, I actually am shocked at these things. And depressed.

  12. Eric Lipps says: “I’m shocked, shocked, that almost 60 percent say they are bawn agin and that 65 percent are sure the Bible is absolutely inerrant.”

    Don’t forget that those polled were all regular church-goers.

  13. It’s pretty clear that, absent propaganda from parents, no one (except perhaps Hambone) would believe in any god, anywhere, any time. I think it’s also pretty clear that if there were a great and powerful Oz who thought people should like her/him/it, he/she/it could fiddle new human children’s neurons so they would adore it/her/him for life.

  14. I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings to ol’ Hambo but it isn’t going to get better for him. As people receive ever more improved education, the facts will get in the way of his whacky views.

    Its the beginning of the end for these nutjobs.

  15. Again, a staggering lack of originality. All this whingeing was spelt out years ago by William Jennings Bryan, in the speech he was manoeuvered out of delivering at the Scopes trial but gave elsewhere in the week between then and his death: https://paulbraterman.wordpress.com/2015/09/26/the-scopes-monkey-trial-part-2-evidence-confrontation-resolution-consequences/

  16. “who would you guess I’m talking about?”
    Nice, reasonable and educated people who can feel empathy.

    “Aren’t you as deeply troubled …..”
    No. I feel hope. And have one more reason to laugh at Ol’ Hambo.

    “I challenge parents (particularly dads)…”
    Ah! I’m a dad. Or rather in this context I was one, because my son will turn 21 very soon. Don’t worry, he thinks Ol’ Hambo is a loon and/or fraud as well.

  17. abeastwood:
    ” I think it’s also pretty clear that if there were a great and powerful Oz who thought people should like her/him/it, he/she/it could fiddle new human children’s neurons so they would adore it/her/him for life.”

    Very good point. The Great philosophers of the Ages (GPAs) have been debating the concept of free will forever.

  18. her/him/it, he/she/it
    May I suggest: “them”, “they”.

  19. What Ole Hambo doesn’t like to tell people is that fundamentalism is actually a modern movement, made up by folks like him who are afraid of science and other changes. As such it also contains the seeds of it’s own destruction, as can be seen in Ole Hambo himself. As he himself has said many times, if even one word is not true, then none of it is true to the fundie. Well, whether it is a million years or noticing the the crucifixion scenes don’t all match up, all it takes is one brick out of place and the whole edifice crumbles to the ground. Ironically, “wishy washy liberal” faith is much more robust. There the faith is a much more general picture and one that is expected to evolve and change — and is in fact expected to evolve and change.

    Fundamentalism is the most egocentric religious position because they claim to understand every jot and tittle of the mind of God! Exactly and perfectly. Rejecting fundamentalism is not about “rejecting god” as Ham would have it, but rather rejecting the massive egos of clowns who Ham and Hovind who claim to know everything god thinks before he/she/it/them thinks it.

  20. @Paine-
    Yes.
    It ought to be pointed out how YEC, and espcially the embellishments, is a new idea. And that one has to accept the whole package is setting oneself up.
    For example:
    Is it really important to believe that Noah’s Flood was universal?

  21. TomS, I’d make one further amendment: “It is really important to believe that Noah’s Flood was universal, keeping in mind that there’s nothing in the original language of the text to say that it is?”

  22. Dave Godfrey

    I note that Mr Lie manages to hawk no less than three of his kindergarten-level books in his post. He’s never one to miss the opportunity for a sales pitch.