Creationist Wisdom #629: Evolution Hates You

Today’s letter-to-the-editor — like the one we wrote about yesterday — appears in the Knoxville News Sentinel of Knoxville, Tennessee. It’s titled Creation must be accepted by faith. The newspaper has a comments feature, but you can’t see them (if there are any) without a subscription.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. But after Googling the name of today’s writer, it looks like we’ve got a preacher — David Manzano, Retired Pastor of the Roane Community Seventh-day Adventist Church. Excerpts from the rev’s letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

The science of statistics indicates that the theory of evolution rests on a statistical impossibility, yet people choose to believe it.

And what would that statistical impossibility be? The rev tells us:

According to Richard Dawkins and others, there was nothing. That nothing produced the big bang and there came into existence all that became all the matter of the universe. Is that not the “magic” a letter writer applied to the belief in creation?

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! The rev thinks Dawkins is a cosmologist. As with yesterday’s letter-to-the-editor, today’s writer is also disturbed by this earlier letter, but it’s two weeks old and you can’t see it unless you’re a subscriber to that newspaper. The rev says:

The law of gravity is constantly experienced and observed. This is not true of evolution. Where in nature do we observe one kind of something that is in the process of changing into a new, superior version?

Here ya go, rev:

Penguin

Let’s read on:

Genetic modification is being done. It is not the result of natural processes. It is the result of human study of biology that leads to intelligently designed experiments and processes.

Wow — there are no naturally-occurring mutations! The rev continues:

The [earlier] letter says, “Several small stable organic molecules formed spontaneously.” The process continued until there were “the two sub-units of a basic protein-making machine beginning the non-random march toward life.” Non-random means the process was directed. Science cannot reproduce this process. This “creation magic” must be accepted by faith.

Oooooooooooh — non-random means directed! Hey — the Moon’s orbit around the Earth isn’t random. Neither is the process identified by Darwin — natural selection. According to the rev, it’s all Oogity Boogity! Here’s more:

Most of the evil in the world is done by people. Why do people do such evil? For a person who believes in evolution, it is evolution that hates you and is the cause of all suffering and evil.

Aaaargh!! And again we say Aaaargh!! That wasn’t enough. Once more: Aaaargh!! That was exhausting. [*Curmudgeon pauses to recover his composure*]

Okay, here’s the last of it, and we readily admit that we don’t understand this at all:

An evolutionist must admit that it is the process of evolution that has produced all the religions of the world and that religions are increasing. Learn to know God. Begin by reading the Gospels. God loves people.

So there you are, dear reader. God loves you; evolution hates you. That was one wild letter!

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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21 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #629: Evolution Hates You

  1. For a person who believes in evolution, it is evolution that hates you and is the cause of all suffering and evil.

    I’m a little confused. If something doesn’t exists, as the rev claims regarding evolution, how can it hate you? As to the growth of religion the good news in the USA the number of atheists and agnostics has been increasing. So why do people do evil in the world? From reading moronic letters like this one from the rev!

  2. Why is it that people who know nothing insist on sharing it with us?

    If they had any self respect they would at least look of the Theory of Evolution in Wikipedia so they would know what they were talking about.

  3. Oh, and regarding “Learn to know God. Begin by reading the Gospels. God loves people.” it is a bit disconcerting that they follow up on this with “and if you do not believe me, you will burn in Hell forever.”

    I expect they think this is proof of god’s love.

  4. Most of the evil in the world is done by people.

    He’s right, you know. I’m surprised he’s not blaming it on Satan.

  5. michaelfugate

    Do you ever get the feeling that people like the rev believe every noun is an agent? The subtleties of language don’t exist.
    I could imagine if there wasn’t a language barrier, they would feel no dissonance living 2000 years ago.

  6. We used to have a pet dachshund who would occasionally bite me. Is that an act of non-human evil? And I am not sure whether he believed in evolution or not? .

  7. For a person who believes in evolution, it is evolution that hates you and is the cause of all suffering and evil.

    I would normally be inclined take the anthropomorphism in this statement as a figure of speech. However, given the rev’s simple-mindedness, I suppose he meant it literally. It is congruent with his simple anthropomorphic beliefs about his god.

  8. Its amazing how fast ID breaks down into GAWD DID IT!!
    But then as we all know ID = gawd to these people.
    But if gawd is imaginable and can be an uncaused cause and eternal, then why can’t the universe be an uncaused cause and eternal?

  9. L.Long asks: “why can’t the universe be an uncaused cause and eternal?”

    Because there wouldn’t be any need for the Lake of Fire.

  10. L.Long & SC: You’d also seem rather silly claiming “The universe loves me and thinks I’m special.”

  11. Although, I am starting to look like I’m created in the image of the universe, ever expanding around the middle.

  12. “An evolutionist must admit that it is the process of evolution that has produced all the religions of the world and that religions are increasing.”
    According to creacrap Evolution Theory is the theory of everything, from the Big Bang to the rev writing his letter. As for “religion is increasing” – I have noticed before that creacrappers tend to reach a point that they themselves are hardly aware anymore what they actually write.

  13. michaelfugate

    I always thought humans were part of nature, and if we aren’t, doesn’t that make us gods?

  14. micahelfugate wonders

    doesn’t that make us gods?

    Only some of us. And in my case, I was fortunate to find the equally-divine Olivia…

  15. Megalonyx fantasizes: ” I was fortunate to find the equally-divine Olivia …”

    BWAHAHAHAHAHA! She tells me that evolution really does seem to hate you, as it left you so far behind.

  16. Ceteris Paribus

    The retired pastor asserts:

    “An evolutionist must admit that it is the process of evolution that has produced all the religions of the world and that religions are increasing.”

    The pastor does actually have a valid point there. Given evolution as a fact, it was inevitable that at some point the very same human brains which produced the horrors of Daylight Saving Time, 3.2 beer, and the argumentum ad Hitlerum, would go on to inflict the world with ever increasing thousands upon thousands of religions.

  17. Rikki_Tikki_Taalik

    @Jason

    We used to have a pet dachshund who would occasionally bite me. Is that an act of non-human evil?

    Given that your wiener dog (heretical wolf kind) was a result of artificial selection performed by humans I’d have to say no.

    And I am not sure whether he believed in evolution or not?

    Nope, every wiener in it’s heart knows about the Uncaused Paws.

  18. I think retired Rev Davy’s letter merits consideration for the longest collection of non sequiturs award. And as Steve Ruis says, it would be nice if just once one of these folks showed some indication that the actually knew what they were talking about. From his letter, we know Rev Dave knows nothing about statistics, cosmology, the origin of life, and genetics and evolution.

  19. The Rev really hit upon a Great Truth here:
    “An evolutionist must admit that it is the process of evolution that has produced all the religions of the world and that religions are increasing.”

    Consider the fact that non-believers have regularly been (and in some religions, still are being) removed from the gene pool. Evolution at work, removing those of us with the “Skeptical Gene.”

  20. Most of the evil in the world is done by people.

    Er . . . most of the evil? Who, or what, does the rest? Has the good rev watched a few too many episodes of Zoo?

  21. @Eric Lipps
    How about Satan?
    And then there is
    I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things. Isaiah 45:7