Answers in Genesis: Leisure Time on Noah’s Ark

You are about to travel into another reality, a reality not knowable by evidence and reason because it isn’t bound by the laws of nature, but by the wonders of Oogity Boogity! It’s a journey into the realm of miracles and mysticism, where all you need is faith. Oh look — there’s a signpost up ahead. It says: “Welcome to Northern Kentucky” Your next stop — The Drool Zone!

We find ourselves at the website of the creation scientists at Answers in Genesis (AIG) — the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo). They just posted Downtime on Noah’s Ark. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Noah and his family members must have worked very hard to care for the animals during their year-long stay on the Ark. But no matter how many long hours they put in, they must have had some downtime to relax and recuperate. Have you ever wondered what they might have done during these times?

We used to think that they spent all of their time shoveling poop, but we recently figured out that they had a way to deal with it — see Waste Disposal on Noah’s Ark — Solved! With that nasty problem out of the way, we have no idea what they did all day. We’re eager to learn what AIG thinks. They tell us:

Since the Bible tells us very little about what happened on board the Ark during the Flood, we can attempt to make educated guesses based on what the Bible reveals about the individuals and their world. For example, based on Genesis 4:21, we know that they could have had access to musical instruments. Perhaps one or more of the family members spent some time playing music.

Huh? Genesis 4:21 (King James version, of course) tells us:

And his brother’s name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ.

That makes no sense. Jubal was a descendant of Cain. Wikipedia has a brief article on him: Jubal. He wasn’t on the Ark, but maybe Mrs. Noah (who has no name) brought her family organ on board. Let’s read on:

It is likely that one or more of the Ark’s passengers was adept at working with wood. Thus, it is not a stretch to think that someone may have spent time building wooden items, such as furniture or crafts. Maybe one of them enjoyed painting and another liked making fabrics and clothing. Did they play games together, tell stories, or talk about what the world might be like after the Flood?

It wasn’t a pleasure cruise, so our guess is that they spent most of their time leaning over the railing and throwing up, but we don’t have AIG’s special insight. They continue:

As a righteous man, Noah would have wanted his family to worship and serve the Lord. Perhaps they set aside regular times to worship the Creator who had spared their family from the global Flood.

Whatever those speculations are worth, this is the article’s final paragraph:

At the Ark Encounter, we have been considering the family’s downtime while on the Ark, for we plan to depict each of the family members in various settings. On the third deck, guests will have an opportunity to visit the living quarters of Mr. and Mrs. Noah, as well as for their three sons and daughters-in-law. Each couple will have their own room designed to feature items that highlight their possible various hobbies and interests.

Wow — there was so much space on the Ark that each couple had a private room! Isn’t that wonderful?

Well, dear reader, we think you can do a better job of suggesting leisure time activities on the Ark than the creation scientists at AIG. How do you think they spent their days?

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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25 responses to “Answers in Genesis: Leisure Time on Noah’s Ark

  1. How do you think they spent their days?

    Well, it was probably much on their minds that they had a whole world to repopulate, so . . .

  2. My understanding is that Noah was a fond of alcohol, so I’m guessing he used the animal waste to power his still. Unfortunately the fruit he used was the only food source for the unicorns which is why they aren’t around today.

  3. Shuffleboard, of course.

    And in the evenings, probably Parcheesi.

  4. Hmm, let’s see: eight people and some 100,000 beasts (minimum). I doubt there was any leisure time at all. But since the story is a myth anyway, Hambone’s free to make up anything he wants (as he’s been doing for lo these many years!)

  5. Don’t miss next week’s article on Answers in Genesis!

    Just what DO the elves do during the summer when they aren’t busy making toys in Santa’s workshop?

  6. if Noah and company had a male donkey and a female horse, they might have bred one of the world’s first mules. In the same vein, they might have tried various other pairings. Dog and cat to produce a dat? Maybe the jackrabbit and the antelope begat the jackelope. The possible pairings would been enormous, and enormously entertaining.

  7. Correction — that’s jackrabbit and antelope. My apologies for the error.

  8. @Hideo Gump
    Correction — that’s jackrabbit and antelope.

    An understandable error, in context. The other word must have been much on your mind as you typed.

  9. michaelfugate

    watching Gilligan’s Island reruns – think of all the useful gadgets they could learn how to make!

  10. I doubt they would have been leaning over the railing much. After a few days, bodies (both animal and human) would have been all over the place. Would have probably made the condition forcing them over the rail worse, not better.

  11. Speaking of the Ark, Last night I had the opportunity to get a boatload of … ballast … from the Hamster himself. It was an evening full of the same old nonsense we have come to expect from the Ayatollah of Apalachia.
    I beg the indulgence of his Curmudeonlyness to allow a link to my own sorry excuse of a neglected blog: http://dreadtomatoaddiction.blogspot.com/2015/11/an-evening-with-ken-ham.html

  12. Hambo said:

    Since the Bible tells us very little about what happened on board the Ark during the Flood, we can attempt to make educated guesses

    (* loud buzzer sound *) AAAAAANNNNNK! We have a hypocrisy foul on the play. Hambo is speculating on facts not in evidence. He’s using “historical science” and he wasn’t there. Fifteen day penalty til he can post anything new on his blog.

  13. The usual load of non-literal embellishment that is the foundation of the “Literal Interpretation”.

    He should pretend to be an authority on Entomology and do a piece on how they talked the termites out of consuming the ark. Could be his crowning achievement! In Crazyology.

  14. Let’s see now…. waterskiing? Nude sunbathing on the upper deck? Fishing? Probably lots of fishing.

    God told them to take two of each kind of animal onto the ark, but he didn’t say anything about letting them off. Ever wonder what happened to the dinosaurs? Maybe Ham ought to have a stuffed dino head on the wall in Noah’s quarters.

  15. It is likely that one or more of the Ark’s passengers was adept at working with wood. Thus, it is not a stretch to think that someone may have spent time building wooden items, such as furniture or crafts. Maybe one of them enjoyed painting and another liked making fabrics and clothing. Did they play games together, tell stories, or talk about what the world might be like after the Flood?

    “It is likely”; “it is not a stretch”; “maybe.”

    Imagine what creationists would say if supporters of evolution used such language. No, wait–one doesn’t have to imagine: they pounce on every such usage as proof–proof, I tell you!–that “Darwinists” have no real evidence and are merely speculating, or outright making things up.

    The difference, of course, is that genuine scientists (as opposed to the quacks at Answers in Genesis and similar creationist thunk tanks) actually base their ideas, tentative though they may be, on genuine evidence and are prepared to abandon particular ideas which turn out to be contradicted by such evidence. Creationists, on the other hand, start with the Bible and then cherry-pick and distort evidence to make it all fit the Genesis account. The only times they abandon an idea are when it becomes tactically necessary to evade some legal ruling or to tippy-toe away from an exposed fundamentalist fraud (e.g., the infamus “Paluxy footprints”).

  16. It sounds as though Ham has just woken up to how boring his animal-free imitation boat will be. He must be looking for extra attractions (?) that will possibly deter some of his connees from asking for their money back. A bit like the zip wire at his so-called “museum”, and about as relevant.

  17. The whole truth

    Eric Lipps, I don’t know if creationist thunk tanks was deliberate or a slip of your finger but I like it.🙂

  18. After I’m done wondering what Noah and his family did in their free time, I’m going to concern myself with how Paul Bunyan clipped his toe nails. I mean, what’d he have, giant toe nail clippers or something?

  19. @Richard Bond:
    Yes, I think you’ve pegged it.

  20. Charles Deetz ;)

    Cow Pie Bingo

  21. Given the tight environmental conditions, I can readily envision all these survivors engaging in a game of never ending craps.

  22. I recall reading that things have been going downhill since “The Fall” so I’m going out on a limb and guessing that at least one of them was a highly skilled engineer who build Tokomaks (or whatever the ancient equivalent was) in his or her spare time – you know, to power the waste disposal system and other labour saving devices that we’ve lost the technological ability to create……

  23. michaelfugate

    cursing god for talking them onto a boat with a gazillion animals who need to be fed and water and whose manure needs to be shoveled and all it does is rain, rain, rain…

  24. Someone had to take the dogs for a walk, but where did they take them?

  25. Tom S says: “Someone had to take the dogs for a walk”

    Did you know that there isn’t a single favorable reference to dogs in the whole bible?