Everyone knows about the Ark Encounter project, a religious theme park under construction in northern Kentucky, promoted by Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo), the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia. The last time we posted about it was Big Thrill — Opening Date for Ken Ham’s Ark.
But what you didn’t know — until now — is that another theme park will be opening soon. We call it Uranus Encounter, and it was inspired by ol’ Hambo’s park. If Hambo thinks he can get millions of people to visit his Ark, then how many more visitors can we expect to see our park, which features a realistic model of the Seventh Planet?
Hambo’s Ark is land-locked. It rests on a concrete foundation and it’s supported by scaffolding. Like Hambo’s Ark, our replica of the Seventh Planet is also firmly fixed in place. If the Ark “replica” won’t float, it shouldn’t be a problem that our replica of the Seventh Planet doesn’t fly through the heavens. The big difference is that Uranus is real, and the Ark is mythology.
Hambo has announced the opening date for his Ark — it’s 07 July, which he says has biblical significance. Uranus Park will open sooner. Our target date is 01 April — which also has meaning. And, like Hambo’s Ark, we’ll have a gift shop and other places where you can spend your money. We’ll also be selling lifetime visitor passes. We’re keeping the location a secret for now, but it’ll be far more convenient than Northern Kentucky.
And so the competition begins! Ask yourself, dear reader — would you rather pay money to see Hambo’s Ark, or the Curmudgeon’s replica of the Seventh Planet? The answer is obvious, isn’t it?
We’re open to suggestions as to how we can make our park an even better experience for our visitors. So let us know what you think.
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