Rev. David Rives — The Bible Knows Best

The Drool-o-tron™ aroused us with its sirens and flashing lights. The blinking letters of its wall display said WorldNetDaily (WND). The Drool-o-tron™ had found the latest video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries.

Our computer was locked onto this headline at WND: Remember: Father Knows Best. The actual title of the video is Superior Knowledge in Every Way. The rev reminds his fans of the old radio show and later TV series titled “Father Knows Best.” He says that title is true! And the bible knows best because it’s the word of god.

He declares that the bible contains more accurate science, history, and prophecy than you can find anywhere else. Where science seems to disagree with the bible, we must remember that science is always being revised, but the bible is never wrong!

Hey — he’s right. Science books are constantly being revised. You wouldn’t consult a science book from 50 years ago, or even 10 years ago. We want the latest edition because science is always changing. But the bible never changes!

The rev is wearing one of his bible-boy suits without a necktie. He’s the cutest rev you’ve ever seen! The video is shorter than his usual 90-second presentation — it’s only a minute long. But what a minute! This one is a life-changer! Go ahead, click over to WND and watch it.

As we always do with the rev’s videos, we dedicate the comments section for your use as an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. You know the rules. Okay, the comments are open. Go for it!

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Rev. David Rives — The Bible Knows Best

  1. we must remember that science is always being revised, but the bible is never wrong!

    But wait! I was reading only yesterday that the savants at WordNutsDaily have indeed produced a revised version of the Bible, complete with at least one known forgery . . .

  2. In short…THE BUYBULL knows nothing!!!!!!
    99% of it has been shown as myth or out-right lies!
    And one of my challenges to xtians….
    Show me something really REALLY good that is ORIGINAL to xtians?
    Waiting…Still waiting….

  3. The Good Rev’s logic is irrefutable. Finally I have seen the error of my ways as a teacher math. The Bible knows best, the Bible is divinely inspired and hence pi equals three. We must rewrite all the math books.
    Oh – and bats are birds, let’s not forget that one either.

  4. Don’t forget the sun orbiting a flat earn, or that salt loses its flavor, or snakes and donkeys talk, or . . . .

  5. I’m working on that now, Megalonyx.

  6. Waldteufel, I didn’t know about the talking donkey. I wonder if he sounded like Eddy Murphy?

  7. Troy:
    “Waldteufel, I didn’t know about the talking donkey. I wonder if he sounded like Eddy Murphy?”

    Well, there’s this:

  8. But the bible never changes!

    Really, how come I see all of these different versions of the Bible listed in Wikipedia and this is just letters A-C:

    American Standard Version
    American King James Version
    Amplified Bible
    An American Translation
    ArtScroll Tanakh (Old Testament)
    An American Translation
    The Beloved and I: New Jubilees Version of the Sacred Scriptures in Verse
    Berkeley Version
    Bible in English
    The Bible in Living English
    Bishops’ Bible
    Catholic Public Domain Version
    Children’s King James Version
    Christian Community Bible, English version
    Clear Word Bible
    Common English Bible
    Complete Jewish Bible
    Contemporary English Version
    Concordant Literal Version

  9. @Bert Younger:
    Just look at the ways that the King James Version has changed.

  10. I hope there are no devoutly religious folk reading these posts. I’d hate to have one of them accuse any of us of blasphemy, For in Leviticus 24:16 we have:
    “And he that blasphemeth the name of the Lord, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him.” It isn’t just the ISIS loonies who feel justified in killing those who don’t accept their religion. Devout believers in the bible can find justification for killing blasphemers in passages like the one above.

    Before I start another religious discussion with any devout christians, I’ll try to sound them out on their views about blasphemy and stoning people to death.

  11. @Hideo Gump: Yeah, it must be a real dilemma for the Pro-Life types. That, and capital punishment in general.

  12. Ceteris Paribus

    @retiredsciguy: No dilemma at all on the capital punishment question. It appears that the death penalty applied only to “blasphemers”. In the case of Cain and Abel, Cain’s homicidal act on his brother netted no punishment at all other than banishment from Eden. And rumor has it that where Cain settled down, the land of Nod, had some of the hottest babes on the flat planet.

  13. The death penalty for “blasphemers”, “apostates”, “heretics”, etc. is alive and well (sozusagen) in Saudi Arabia.

  14. @michaelfugate – Thanks for the link to the story about Ashraf Fayadh. I think Saudi-Arabia needs its own chapter of the Freedom From Religion Foundation.
    Unfortunately, anyone promoting FFRF in that country would likely be put to death.

    I like FFRF – they are a non-prophet organization!