Creationist Wisdom #640: God Is in Control

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Daily Record of Ellensburg, Washington. It’s titled Global warming alarmists belong in comics. We usually don’t discuss global warming around here, but the letter has a lot of other stuff too. The newspaper has a comments feature.

Because today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. His first name is David. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Archeology has uncovered evidence which indicates that the Bible book of Genesis is comprised of the oldest written documents in the history of the world.

Not really. The Epic of Gilgamesh pre-dates Genesis by about a thousand years, and that’s just one example. Egyptian hieroglyphs predate the bible too, but let’s not quibble. [Addendum: Wikipedia’s article on Ancient literature lists dozens of texts that are older than Genesis.]

After that whopper, David says:

Credible scholars tell us that Genesis was compiled by Moses from ancient written documents, identified 11 times in Genesis by the term toledoth, a history or a record, going all the way back to Adam, saying, “This is the book of the record (toledoth) of Adam.” Genesis 5:1.

Yeah, okay — that’s what “credible scholars” tell us. This is good, huh? Let’s read on:

Genesis says that mankind was given dominion over animals, birds, and fish, not over the weather. The flood gave us fossil fuels, but was not caused by them. God promised not to destroy all flesh again by a global flood.

Hey, the Flood gave us fossil fuels — hooray for the Flood! David continues:

Those who advocate controlling Earth’s temperature, are peddling a pipe dream, saying that “scientists” support their suppositions, when many credible scientists dispute this. Global warming hand-wringers, wearing coats, should be in the comic strips instead of the front page, except for the damage they do to beneficial businesses. I can sympathize with them, however, because if I didn’t believe that God controls the world’s temperature, I would worry too. But the Bible makes me think that he does.

Ah, God is in control of the temperature. No worries! Here’s more:

We preach evolution and survival of the fittest and then wring our hands about vanishing species. If the so-called upward progression really happened by chance, it will correct itself by chance. Without a creator, little remains but anxiety.

David has no anxiety, but you do, don’t you, dear reader? Moving along:

Social engineers exclude God from the public sector, little realizing that this is the very root of global warming worries, and other problems, such as STD, violence, substance abuse, despair, and suicide. Earth is a mere speck in our solar system, an infinitesimal dot in our galaxy, and of little moment in the universe.

Wow — what a catalog of problems we have because God is excluded from the public sector. And now we come to the end of this exciting letter:

Without a Divine Creator, intelligent human beings should be anxious. However, God does still govern in the affairs of men and nations. But, of course, a carbon tax will certainly slow down global warming, and snapping one’s fingers will definitely keep the elephants away. Many thinking people believe the global warming hype impugns credible science.

And David is one of those “thinking people.” But you already knew that, didn’t you?

Copyright © 2015. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #640: God Is in Control

  1. And David is one of those “thinking people.”

    Perhaps. But from his writing, it is difficult to discern just what he’s thinking.

    ****************************
    Proofreading mode:
    Fourth paragraph — Egyptian hieroglyphs predate the bible too, but let’s not quibble After that whopper, David says:

    A period is needed after “quibble”.

    (Yours is a “Blog of Record”, Curmie. When scholars refer to it 300 years from now, it’s important that it be in perfect form. I’ll do what I can to help, and thus, I quibble. It’s what I do.)

  2. retiredsciguy says:

    A period is needed after “quibble”.

    Thanks. I’m having a bad day.

  3. Well, give David a break. He got one thing right in his otherwise ignorant rant: “Earth is a mere speck in our solar system, an infinitesimal dot in our galaxy, and of little moment in the universe.” But the sky fairy is so clearly incompetent in other areas, I’m sure we shouldn’t leave handling the thermostat to him/her/it (how ever blessed his/her/its name may be).

  4. Hey David. Here’s some other stuff that predates the Bible.
    “University of Edinburgh paleontologists have uncovered hundreds of footprints left on the Isle of Skye (west coast of Scotland, Hebrides) by giant plant-­eating sauropods 170 million years ago during the Jurassic.
    The Scotsman, Dec 1 2015…….oh dearie, dear.

  5. Och Will says: “Hey David. Here’s some other stuff that predates the Bible.”

    We must be fair to David. He’s talking about written documents. However, I just amended the post to add a link to a Wikipedia article that lists dozens older than Genesis.

  6. michaelfugate

    I think David meant “discredited” whenever employing “credible”.

  7. Archeology has uncovered evidence which indicates that the Bible book of Genesis is comprised of the oldest written documents in the history of the world.

    I’ve just been reading about the “Egyptian Book of the Afterlife” and Egyptian religion, which preceded the other religions, christianity, judaism and islam by over 1000-2000 years. The Egyptian religious beliefs, both mono- and poly-theistic, form the groundwork for these later religions. For instance, In this text one can find the basic 10 commandmants ideas that Moses “borrowed.” So maybe that’s what this David is unwittingly referring to.

  8. Ceteris Paribus

    David says:
    “Credible scholars tell us that Genesis was compiled by Moses from ancient written documents”

    And if Moses cut and pasted any of those ancient written documents to make the Genesis project, Jesus is going to be soooo mad because He still needs them to finish writing the final Apocalypse chapter.

  9. The oldest elements in the Bible are not found in the book of Genesis. The oldest original complete passage might be the “Song of the Sea” in Exodus 15. Another candidate is the original folk-tale that forms the framework for the book of Job, and maybe the book of Ruth, which would have little reason to be in the Bible aside from its ancient provenance. The “Aaronic Blessing” (Numbers 6:24-26) is the oldest fragment known from archeological evidence, being found on a phylactory scroll datable to about 800 BCE.

    The very oldest elements might date as far back as 1200 BCE – although that cannot be established securely. That’s certainly very venerable, but not nearly as old as the Epic of Gilgamesh, which can be securely dated to the end of the third millennium BCE, and only as old as most scholars date the “Catalogue of Ships” in the Iliad, 2. The “Chapters of the Going Forth by Day”, sometimes called “the Egyptian Book of the Dead” contain very early elements, certainly dating before 1500 BCE, and probably before 2000.

    David’s bold pronouncements about scholars accepting single Mosaic authorship is merely a demonstration that he hasn’t the faintest clue about it. I suspect that his impressions of the state of Biblical scholarship derive from sites like Creation Ministries International.

    It’s true that the further reaches of the Documentary Hypothesis have come under increasing attack in recent years. Attempts to assign every word of the Pentateuch to one or another of four or more writers and a redactor are clearly far too speculative. But the demonstrated reasons to accept multiple authorship and a date of 600-400 BCE for the result are indisputable. Only fundamentalist Jews and Christians now think that Moses wrote the whole thing – and they don’t think that because the Bible says he did. It doesn’t say that. Neither did Jesus. They think Moses wrote it because it gives it more authority. They crave authority.

    In fact, practically everything David says he knows about the Bible is wrong. The same applies to his pronouncements on public policy. He wants a theocracy, a polity where the tenets of a religion rule. Which religion? David would answer, “Why, mine, of course.” Every other fundamentalist of slightly or radically different stripe would make the same reply.

    How would it be decided which of them shall prevail? By the usual method, naturally: fire and sword.

    Over my dead body. But of course loons like David would be delighted to accommodate me, had they the means.

  10. I always delight in seeing evangelicals yank the steering wheel out of poor god’s hands right after declaring him all knowing and all powerful. He controls the universe, but not Wallstreet. Is there a fine degree of granularity that no deity is able to have any effect on? Could this explain the need to hit the reset button every so often? Could this behaviour be similar to the frustration a chess player might feel when they realize they cannot just arbitrarily change the colour of a square during a match? This can lead to dramatic arm sweeps, clearing the playing pieces from the board entirely. The deity admits defeat and just hits reset.

  11. We preach evolution and survival of the fittest and then wring our hands about vanishing species. If the so-called upward progression really happened by chance, it will correct itself by chance. Without a creator, little remains but anxiety

    What do you mean by “we,” David?

    And it’s revealing that a creationist thinks the “upward progression” of evolution is something to be “corrected.” See you in the trees, David.

  12. Next time David gets sick and runs a fever, he can just deny it. No need to see a doctor. No need for antibiotics. God is in control.

  13. The church my mother took me to explained the conundrum mentioned by Dean (God “controls the universe, but not Wallstreet”) by declaring that Satan is the god of this world. The church claimed to be set apart, “in the world, but not of the world.” This idea had the advantage that they messed with the lives only of their own members and did not enter politics or even vote. By the way, the church also followed Rob’s recommendation and trusted God to heal their illnesses. In fact, the wife of the chief apostle died of a condition that could easily have been corrected by surgery if her husband had not exercised such strong faith.

  14. Let me summarize.
    David doesn’t get history.
    David doesn’t get the Bible.
    David doesn’t get Evolution Theory.
    David doesn’t get global warming.

    Is he applying for a honourable mention in the Guinness Book of Records?

  15. “The flood gave us fossil fuels, but was not caused by them.”

    Fossil fuels didn’t cause the flood! Who knew?