Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in The Buffalo News of Buffalo, New York. It’s titled Embracing biblical values is only way to save America. The newspaper has a comments feature — with 76 comments so far.
Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name, but this time we’ve got a preacher. It’s The Rev. Daren Drzymala, founder of Straight Path Music Ministries. Excerpts from the rev’s letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!
Now that the Iowa caucus is over and the rest of the primaries have begun, the question is: Do the Republicans or Democrats have the answer? As a conservative and fundamentalist preacher, I state: No.
No? Then what’s the answer? The rev tells us:
What America needs is a Bible revival for survival.
Thrilling, huh? Let’s read on:
America needs to return to biblical values: the sanctity of life for unborn children, a return to traditional marriage between a man and a woman, teaching young people “saved sex” till marriage, not “safe sex” and …
Sorry to interrupt that sentence, but we couldn’t control ourselves. “Saved sex,” not “safe sex” That’s fantastic, and the rev is right! You gotta save it!
Okay, what else does America need? The rev’s sentence continues:
… and the need to teach scientific creationism, not secular humanism, or atheism, or socialism.
He’s right again — creationism is the answer to socialism! It’s so obvious!
The rev’s letter is short and sweet. Here’s the rest of it:
America needs to fall down on its knees and turn to Jesus Christ. If we don’t do this, we will cease as a nation of “greatness.”
Okay, dear reader. You heard the rev. On your knees!
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