Creationist Wisdom #653: On Your Knees!

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in The Buffalo News of Buffalo, New York. It’s titled Embracing biblical values is only way to save America. The newspaper has a comments feature — with 76 comments so far.

Unless the letter-writer is a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name, but this time we’ve got a preacher. It’s The Rev. Daren Drzymala, founder of Straight Path Music Ministries. Excerpts from the rev’s letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

Now that the Iowa caucus is over and the rest of the primaries have begun, the question is: Do the Republicans or Democrats have the answer? As a conservative and fundamentalist preacher, I state: No.

No? Then what’s the answer? The rev tells us:

What America needs is a Bible revival for survival.

Thrilling, huh? Let’s read on:

America needs to return to biblical values: the sanctity of life for unborn children, a return to traditional marriage between a man and a woman, teaching young people “saved sex” till marriage, not “safe sex” and

Sorry to interrupt that sentence, but we couldn’t control ourselves. “Saved sex,” not “safe sex” That’s fantastic, and the rev is right! You gotta save it!

Okay, what else does America need? The rev’s sentence continues:

and the need to teach scientific creationism, not secular humanism, or atheism, or socialism.

He’s right again — creationism is the answer to socialism! It’s so obvious!

The rev’s letter is short and sweet. Here’s the rest of it:

America needs to fall down on its knees and turn to Jesus Christ. If we don’t do this, we will cease as a nation of “greatness.”

Okay, dear reader. You heard the rev. On your knees!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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21 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #653: On Your Knees!

  1. Ah yes. . . . Biblical values . . . Slavery, genocide, incest, human sacrifice. Yes, kiddies! We’ll surely go to the theological place of eternal punishment unless we get on our knees and profess and practice those biblical values!

  2. How trite. Doesn’t appear from the comments that the good Rev. is getting a whole lot of support. It also must have been a very slow day to have “The Buffalo News” publish this exemplary letter.

  3. michaelfugate

    He must be reading a different Bible than the one on my shelf….

  4. Fortunately I always have lived in “nations not of greatness”.

  5. Talking to a local preacher I asked about hating gays and divorced people.
    He claims (which jesus denies) that jesus fulfilled the OT so it don’t apply, but jesus said divorce is evil, and the preacher said but jesus’ death fulfilled the entire buyBull including the NT! And it went silly from there as he was essentially said we don’t have to do the buyBull stuff,,except what he have to follow!!
    I have NEVER met a xtian that has ever lived by buyBull values!!!! Except for the ones he makes up.

  6. Cyano de Bacteregerac

    On your knees! Head on the ground! Butt in the air! Ala is ackbar!

  7. Do you know that the basic part of isLame is that the world is flat!?!?!? This is shown by the silly BS of having to face east to bow and pray. This is ONLY valid in a flat earth, as you always face MECCA no matter what the direction on a sphere and because we are on a sphere you also always show your butt to Mecca as well.
    Yes the islame, xtians and all other religions are correct in that prayer is VERY important….it reinforces the BS in the pee brains of the sheeple so that they can be certain that their hate, bigotry, and intolerance is the proper behavior.

  8. One of the spurs to mathematics in Islam was the solution to the problem of the shortest direction to Mecca on a spherical Earth.

  9. L.Long spouts some nonsense:

    “This is shown by the silly BS of having to face east to bow and pray.”
    Except that in Indonesia – with the biggest population muslim of all countries – all muslims pray to the west.
    As a result of emigration from Java to Suriname from 1880-1940 all Surinamese muslims prayed to the west until the 1950’s – when they realized that and about 3/4 turned to the east because that’s the shorter distance (which only makes sense on a spherical Earth).
    Yup – there has been a schism in Surinamese islam. As a result there are east-praying muslims and west-praying muslims.

    https://beritabelanda.wordpress.com/tag/oostbidders/
    http://www.starnieuws.com/index.php/welcome/index/nieuwsitem/31392

    Call that silly BS if you like; there is a lot more to it (namely the ambition to get rid of Indonesian animist influences).
    Not to mention that muslims living north of Mekka pray to the south and vice versa.
    In short – you’ve got your facts about islam about as right as the average creationist his about evolution.

  10. Eddie Janssen

    If you are on the equator and you face exactly east or west you do not face Mecca. If you are on the Greenwich meridian and you face north or south you do not face Mecca.
    Maybe I miss something but there are quazillion positions where you miss Mecca all together.

  11. I was on a Royal Brunei Airlines jet on one occasion (don’t ask!) and found that there was a special doohicky built into the seat back screen to indicated the direction of Mecca. During the long flight, it moved. Naturally.

    The other remarkable innovation was the prayers before takeoff. Obviously, they were effective.

  12. The Good Rev says:

    America needs to fall down on its knees and turn to Jesus Christ. If we don’t do this, we will cease as a nation of “greatness.”

    Wait. If we will cease to be great, then that means we’re great now. But we’ve been dropping to our knees less, and yet we’re still great.
    So why do I want to drop to my knees again?
    Oh, and Cyano de Bacteregerac, I believe the proper response is “Aloha Admiral Ackbar!”

  13. “Fall down on its knees,” to the reverend’s imaginary god. Hey, I got my own fervent imagination that can conjure up its own gods, thank you. Pass. as to Mecca more silliness to make sure everyone is kept in line. Are you one of us? The answer again is hell no!

  14. Doctor Stochastic

    Biblical values like Pi=3?

  15. I suggest that one who is interested in the practice of facing Mecca can find information in the Wikipedia article “Qibla”.

  16. America needs to return to biblical values: the sanctity of life for unborn children, a return to traditional marriage between a man and a woman, teaching young people “saved sex” till marriage, not “safe sex” and … the need to teach scientific creationism, not secular humanism, or atheism, or socialism.

    (1) What does teaching creationism have to do with abstinence before marriage?

    (2) “Scientific” creationism? Ain’t no such animal, just a bunch of people masquerading (poorly) as scientists and peddling religion with a threadbare covering of scientific-sounding nonsense.

  17. What does creationism have to do with socialism?

  18. Well mnbo it does show you can’t read as I did say TOWARD MECCA so as to cover ALL directions.
    The main reason they are against animalism is because the ahole muslins think they are right and all else are wrong, and they LOVE butchering thousands of animals per year for no good reason.
    so my facts are a lot better then all creationists.

  19. Maybe I can’t read, L.Long – but then again you might not know what you write yourself. I quote:

    “This is shown by the silly BS of having to face east to bow and pray.”
    Nope. They don’t face east. They face towards Mecca and that has exactly zero to do with a Flat Earth – which was exactly what you claimed.

  20. “If you are on the equator and you face exactly east or west you do not face Mecca. If you are on the Greenwich meridian and you face north or south you do not face Mecca.”
    Excellent, EddieJ! You win the internet. Guess what? Muslims know that too. So no – Surinamese muslims do not pray exactly eastward or westward. The angle is not large enough to call it north-east or west-east though.
    Looking for nails at low tide, perhaps?

  21. There is a site which gives the direction to Mecca. For example, the direction from Medina to Mecca is nearly exactly south.
    http://www.qiblalocator.com