All this talk of Neanderthals, plus the current effort of the Discoveroids to search for the ancient roots of their wisdom — see The “Ancient Roots” of Intelligent Design — and the lack of other news, have inspired your Curmudgeon to consult his archive of secret lore. There we found this:
It was a dark and stormy night — about 50,000 years ago. Oooooog, a Neanderthal, was crouched in his cave. Squatting beside him was his Neanderthal female, whose name was Booooog. They watched the rain as it lashed the surrounding forest. Oooooog and Booooog were terrified.
Suddenly, a flash of lightning lit up the sky, followed by a loud clap of thunder. “What is that?” asked Booooog. “What causes it?”
Oooooog, who was as frightened and mystified as his mate, nevertheless tried to comfort her by providing an answer. At first, he couldn’t think of anything to say — but then it came to him. He turned to her and said: “It’s a sign from the intelligent designer.”
“What are you talking about?” said Booooog. “That’s the craziest thing I ever heard.”
“It’s the only explanation,” replied Oooooog. “Can you think of anything better?”
Booooog thought for a moment. “No, I guess not. You’re the male; you must be right.”
Impressed by her man’s knowledge, she initiated a night of prehistoric romance. “You are my Oooooogity,” she exclaimed. “And you are my Booooogity,” he responded.
Your ever-discreet Curmudgeon must leave the happy stone-age couple at this point, but now you know, dear reader. That’s how it all began. And once it got started, it never died. To this day, the intellectual heirs of Oooooog and Booooog are continuing that proud tradition.
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