Creationist Wisdom #664: Science Gulag

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Journal of New Ulm, Minnesota. The letter is titled The language of creation. The newspaper has a comments section.

Because today’s writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. He may own a machine shop, but that doesn’t qualify for full-name treatment. His first name is Phil. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

The instructions for building and operating a human being are written with just four letters, abbreviated A,T,C and G representing four chemicals arranged like steps that are strung along in a thin helical ladder. This ‘DNA’ ladder is about two meters long but only two nanometers wide, and it’s all packed into a tiny ball (nucleus) about five micrometers in diameter.

With that unpromising beginning, Phil then goes on at great length with a series of analogies, to help us grasp the size and complexity of our DNA, starting like this:

To put this into perspective, imagine a 3,100 mile long clothes line rope that has instruction sentences (genes) written on it, some short, some long. Now take all 3,100 miles of rope and pack it into an average sized two story house, make it into about 10,000 loops that are not tangled and can be spooled. …

Skipping the rest of that, Phil says:

Recently, Karolinska Institute stated that the “grammar” of the human genetic code is more complex than the most intricate languages in the world. Only thing that comes closer in complexity would be high level computer languages, but even those pale against the genome code because human written code goes only in one direction, one character/word at a time. The genome has information that be read in forward or reverse, three dimensional code that overlaps other code, and more.

[*Begin Drool Mode*] Ooooooooooooh — it’s so complicated! [*End Drool Mode*] Let’s read on:

I’ve been subscribing to ‘Science’, ‘Scientific American’ and ‘Science News’ for four or five years, and this year started with ‘Nature’ and ‘GeoScience.’

Very impressive! What has Phil learned? He tells us:

It seems like every single issue has some commentary or conclusion that all life forms have “evolved’. Never is there any mention of evidence for ‘Intelligent Design,’ even though ‘Science’ states (in very small print) they publish material in which a consensus has been reached as well as the conflicting minority views.

Hey –they also don’t mention evidence for Moon-landing denial, flat Earth, astrology, or crop circles. This is an outrage! Phil continues:

It appears the atmosphere within academia is the same as that described by Solzhenitsyn during the Stalin days. A conference hall meeting concluded with a tribute to Stalin, everybody stood up and applauded. The clapping went on and on even though hands got sore and arms were aching, people wore fake smiles. Then after about 11 minutes, a factory director stopped clapping and sat down, immediately, so did everyone else. Secret service men were in the crowd too, and noted who was first to stop clapping. That night, he was arrested and sentenced to ten years in prison. His interrogator reminded him: ‘Don’t ever be the first to stop applauding.’

Gasp! We never realized it before, but Phil is right! And now we come to the end:

Woe to the molecular biologist who dares to “stop clapping” (suggest Intelligent Design); he’ll most likely be shipped off to some type of scholastic Siberian gulag.

It’s not as bad as Phil would have us believe. America is a land of opportunity for creationists. There probably aren’t any jobs available with the Discoveroids these days, because they’ve been letting people go, but Phil’s hypothetical molecular biologist could probably get a job working for ol’ Hambo, or maybe a bible college. Only a hell-bound Darwinist would consider such places to be scholastic gulags.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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7 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #664: Science Gulag

  1. I always love it when a creationist goes overboard in the analogies.

    Life is so much more complicated than anything that is designed. Therefore, it must be designed.

  2. Mark Germano

    I used to subscribe to Sports Illustrated, but the Stalinists coaches banished me to baseball Siberia because I couldn’t hit a curve ball.

  3. Being an expert on Stalin’s Russia I wonder what Phil thinks of the Lysenko Affair?

  4. Dave Luckett

    The usual, again. False claim to authority, argument from incredulity, persecution complex. Nothing to see here.

  5. Since his understanding of science is very poor, I can belieive he thinks a silly story to scare kids is also true.

  6. winewithcats

    Clearly, Phil has never attempted programming in Funge-Space.

  7. Creationists are some of the biggest whiners around. If they can’t get a respectful hearing for their ideas, they figure it must be because those evil evil-utionists are suppressing The Truth©. It couldn’t possibly be because their “theory” belongs in the same class as the idea that Joseph built the pyramids, as (former) presidential candidate Ben Carson said.