AIG: The Gorilla Connection — Oook, Oook!

The fact that humans are related to all other life on this world is regarded as a blasphemous lie by creationists, and nothing is rejected more strongly than the obvious fact that we’re closely related to gorillas, chimpanzees, and the other great apes. This is a frequent topic of the creation scientists at Answers in Genesis (AIG), the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo) — the Australian entrepreneur who has become the ayatollah of Appalachia, famed for the infamous, mind-boggling Creation Museum.

This new essay appears at the AIG website: The Gorilla-Human “Split”: Where Do Gorillas Hang On Our Family Tree?, sub-titled “Asking how far back our kinship with gorillas goes is a question about a fictional relationship.” You know it’s authoritative because it was written by Dr. Elizabeth Mitchell, a creationist gynecologist. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

How much time separated the origin of gorillas and chimpanzees? Enquiring evolutionary minds want to know! Why? Because they think humans share the chimp branch of the evolutionary tree of life, and they want to know how long it took for humanity’s uniqueness to evolve.

The creationist gynecologist knows that those evolutionists are fools! She tells us:

Evolutionary opinions about how long each step in this process took have varied greatly. Even where they took place has been hotly debated, thanks to the dearth of ancient African gorilla fossils. The 8-million-year age now assigned to nine fairly modern-looking gorilla teeth found in Ethiopia’s Afar Rift, reported in Nature in February 2016, has fueled the suggestion that the chimpanzee-human branch diverged from its lineage shared with gorillas much earlier than previously thought — and that it did so in Africa.

This is the paper in Nature she mentioned: New geological and palaeontological age constraint for the gorilla–human lineage split. You can’t see more than the abstract without a subscription, but who cares about what they say in Nature? Let’s find out what Elizabeth says:

Ethiopia’s Afar Rift is well known as the cradle of many fossils belonging to our supposed much nearer non-human ancestors, australopithecines like “Lucy.” The Chorora Formation, composed of volcanic debris and sedimentary rock, is believed by evolutionists to be the oldest part of the Afar Rift, far older than the layer in which Lucy was found.

Yes, our “supposed” non-human ancestors. We’re skipping most of Elizabeth’s very long essay. If you’re so inclined, you can click over there to read it all. We’ll just pick out the fun parts — for instance this:

In the investigation of evolutionary puzzles, scientists burdened by an evolutionary worldview generally ask “when” rather than “if.” This narrow-minded way of looking at scientific data is beautifully illustrated by the conclusions drawn from this Ethiopian gorilla’s teeth. Discovered in 2007, the age now assigned to these teeth and other Chororan fossils is based on “geochemical, magnetostratigraphic and radioisotopic results that securely place the Chorora Formation sediments to between ~9 and ~7 [million years.]”

Elizabeth, of course, attaches no credibility to such age estimates. Skipping a few paragraphs of her reasoning on that, she declares:

Furthermore, even the degree of similarity that exists between various primate animal and human genomes — easily understood as a consequence of sharing our common Designer — are calculated on the basis of methodology biased toward an evolutionary interpretation and are likely overestimated.

Evolutionists are sooooooo biased! Here’s more:

Of course, this extinct gorilla’s teeth have nothing to do with human origins anyway, since humans and gorillas and chimpanzees do not actually share a common ancestor. Nevertheless, it is instructive to take a brief look at the methodology used to determine their groundbreaking age in order to further understand the unverifiable assumptions in which they are rooted and the biblically accurate historical alternative explanation for their modern appearance.

Ah yes, the “unverifiable assumptions” of evolution, compared to the “biblically accurate historical alternative.” Skipping another ark-load, we come to this:

When viewed in the light of biblical history, we see that the enormous age assigned to them on the basis of unverifiable, worldview-dependent interpretations of dating methodologies is off — way off — as the Flood and its aftermath responsible for burying and fossilizing these gorilla teeth occurred only about 4,300 years ago … .

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! From here on, it keeps getting better:

Furthermore, we know from God’s eyewitness account in His Word that He created all kinds of living things in the space of just three days during the week of Creation about 6,000 years ago, designing them to reproduce “after their kinds.” This is affirmed by biological observations, for animals do not evolve into different kinds of animals but only reproduce and vary within their created kinds. All the original kinds of apes were created on the same day, Day Six of Creation Week. Representatives of all the created kinds God made were taken on Noah’s Ark at the time of the global Flood, and from them all the varieties of animals we see today descended. Thus, it is no surprise that the gorilla teeth from the Afar rift look quite modern, as all gorillas are varieties of the great ape kind God created in the beginning and are descended from those representatives of this kind that were on the Ark.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Moving along:

And we do not have to wonder about the biological relationship between gorillas, chimps, and humans: there isn’t one. Humans, gorillas, and chimps do share some genetic similarities. But genetic similarities — however they are calculated — are simply evidence of our shared common Designer. They are not evidence that humans and great apes share a lineage.

As a special treat for staying with us this long, dear reader, our last excerpt is the best:

Furthermore, their presence as fossils in sediment most likely associated with the time soon after the global Flood, in layers in Africa somewhat deeper than those in which human fossils are found, merely reflects the fact that, as we understand from Genesis, animals disembarking from Noah’s Ark spread out across the world much sooner than the people who descended from Noah’s family and delayed their dispersal into Africa and elsewhere until forced to do so by the incident at the Tower of Babel. The rock layers and fossils, divested of evolutionary interpretations, are, as always, consistent with the history we read in God’s reliable Word.

See? It all fits together. There’s no way to deny it, dear reader. Creation science is great stuff!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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20 responses to “AIG: The Gorilla Connection — Oook, Oook!

  1. “…we know from God’s eyewitness account in His Word that He created ….”
    And you heard gawds words exactly how? Did they just appear in your dim little head or could a crowd have heard it????

  2. As we geoscientists say, the creationist gynecologist represents the “type section” of utter moron. Her scribblings are pure creationist gold!

  3. And morons such as this can get a medical license? Seriously, a question should be added as part of medical licensing exams: What theory explains disease-causing microorganisms developing resistance to treatment? If the answer ISN’T Evolution, then you don’t get licensed because you’re too stupid to be a doctor.

  4. Derek Freyberg

    L. Long:
    As Hambo would say “Were you there?”

  5. One wonders why any creationist would bother to reply to an article in Narure, a publication not likely to be on the reading list of the typical AiG droooler.

  6. “…scientists burdened by an evolutionary worldview…”

    Interesting choice of words, ‘burdened.’ You kinda get the impression that
    Ken Ham & Company think every one of us is going to be backfloating in the Lake of Fire.

    Why does AIG persecute Christians who accept that the Theory of Evolution is the best explanation for the diversity of life on Earth?

  7. animals disembarking from Noah’s Ark spread out across the world much sooner than the people who descended from Noah’s family

    According to this argument, many very slow creatures spread much faster than many quite fast animals. Amphibians were, as a group, faster than reptiles, for example.

    Even more interesting, plants also differentiate in the geological column. Perhaps in the post flood era, cycads moved faster than flowering plants.

  8. And just how far back did the gorilla family tree split from the creationist tree? Oh, wait they’re still one, but the gorilla’s are trying to disown any association with creationists like Ham and Lizzy, it gives the gorilla a bad image.

  9. davidambrose

    I agree with David K on this one. I do my best to distance myself from creationists and imagine any self respecting gorilla would do the same.

  10. “…scientists burdened by an evolutionary worldview…”

    Yes, it’s such a “burden” (or should I say “cross to bear”) to rely on evidence and logic. Denial, illogic and blind faith in a old book of contradictions make science so much easier. Good one SC!

  11. Charles Deetz ;)

    the age now assigned to these teeth and other Chororan fossils is based on “geochemical, magnetostratigraphic and radioisotopic results that securely place the Chorora Formation sediments to between ~9 and ~7 [million years.]

    Three methods of dating called out. The gynecologist needs to disprove all of them. And the fact they all agree +-2MYA is worthy of her disproof, as well.

  12. Creationism proves once again — a mind is a terrible thing to waste.

  13. Surely by dismissing this evidence for evolution, she’s contracting her own position that gorillas and chimpanzees diverged from a common ancestor (the “ape kind” or whatever) that lived on Noah’s Ark.

  14. the Flood and its aftermath responsible for burying and fossilizing these gorilla teeth
    There is nothing in the Bible about “the Flood and its aftermatth burying”, or “fossilizing” or “gorillas”. (The English word “ape” in the KJV language referred to what we call “old world monkeys”. Gorillas, chimps, orangs, gibbons, and extinct forms were unknown of to the cultures of the Ancient Near East and Europe until at least a century or two later than 1611.)

  15. God’s eyewitness account
    This, too, is not said in the Bible. Nowhere is it said that Genesis is God’s eyewitness account. There is an ancient tradition that Genesis was written by Moses, perhaps dictated by God. But there is no identification of the narrator of the accounts in Genesis.
    What gives these people the feeling that they are authorized to put words in the mouth of God?

  16. @ TomS
    Good point. Maybe the authors of the Genesis account are now burning in the lake of fire for their blasphemy – not only for the pretense of speaking as God, but for coming up with such a crackpot story and attributing it to God.

    Very damaging to God’s reputation. Into the fire they go!

    I wonder what He does with souls who believed such things about Him? Hmmm.

  17. TomS wrote:

    There is nothing in the Bible about “the Flood and its aftermatth burying”, or “fossilizing” or “gorillas”.

    Tom, Tom, Tom! Doth ye knowest naught? The literal words of absolute and immutable Truth ™ in the Bible are literally and absolutely and immutably True ™ including words that are not there, implied and/or interpreted literally!

    So, we know, literally implicitly so, that there were green alligators and long-necked geese, some humpty backed camels and some chimpanzees. Some cats and rats and elephants, but sure as you’re born, the loveliest of all was the unicorn.**

    **deceased with the dinosaurs, alas.

  18. When viewed in the light of biblical history, we see that the enormous age assigned to them on the basis of unverifiable, worldview-dependent interpretations of dating methodologies is off — way off — as the Flood and its aftermath responsible for burying and fossilizing these gorilla teeth occurred only about 4,300 years ago … .

    Notice how “Dr.” Mitchell assumes that the Flood occurred because it says so in the Bible, and that it took place 4,300 years ago because that can be calculated (with a little hand-waving) from what’s said in the Bible, so that therefore mere physical evidence that certain events occurred millions of years ago must be flawed, or fake, or need to be “viewed in the light of biblical history.”

    It all boils down to “if it says so in the Bible it’s true.” That, however, is a statement of faith, not of fact. Its equivalent for evolutionists would be “If it says so in The Origin of Species it’s true”–but no believer in evolution is fool enough to say any such thing.

  19. When Hambo’s Xr. Georgia Purdum visited the David Rives Bible BoyShow she attempted to prove that humans and chimps only shared more like 60% rather than the current scientific estimate in the high 90s%. Her explanation was a bit cryptic, saying that the only reason the DNA is similar is because scientists align similar parts of the DNA. Now get this…to account for the 60% figure she was advocating she said that of course humans and chimps have similar DNA, they are both Mammals.
    I don’t see how this isn’t heresy to someone like Hambo. After all if humans are made in the image of God we shouldn’t have anything in common with animals at all.

  20. Same DNA test used2 convict felons show chimps more closely related2 humans than gorillas #Evolution http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S004058098571026X