Creationists Explain Extinction of Homo Erectus

According to Wikipedia, Homo erectus is “an extinct species of hominid that lived throughout most of the Pleistocene geological epoch. Its earliest fossil evidence dates to 1.9 million years ago and the most recent to 70,000 years ago.” You have probably been wondering: What caused their extinction?

We have the answer, dear reader. It comes from the Institute of Creationist Biology in Barcelona, Spain. If they have a website, we can’t find it, but their research is reported by Information Nigeria, which says that it “is currently rated as one of the Top 20 websites in Nigeria, with over 2.8 Million Facebook fans, over 130,000 twitter followers and over 40 Million monthly page views.”

Their headline is Homosexuality Led To Extinction Of Homo Erectus Species, Creationist Scientist Claims. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

A new study emerging from the Institute of Creationist Biology in Barcelona, Spain, claims Homo erectus, a forebearer of humanity which went extinct nearly 2 million years ago, disappeared because of their atypical s*xual [sic] preferences.

Shocking, absolutely shocking! We’re told:

According to new archeological evidence emerging from the Palau Pe Dang site in Indonesia, these ancestors of modern humans possibly favored interbreeding with their own gender, leading to a steep decline of their population, believes leading researcher and Christian minister, Emmanuel Fortes.

There’s no reference to that “new archeological evidence,” but they provide a link to this item at the website Nigerian Scoop which says pretty much the same thing, except for this:

A 2011 phrenological study done by the Institute of Creationist Biology in Barcelona on the largest existing collection of Homo erectus craniums also proved the Homo erectus brain was “extremely orientated towards sexual activities […] of possible deviant and unlawful nature” revealed the study.

Wow — the Spanish creationists used Phrenology. Very impressive! Returning to the Information Nigeria article, they quote Emmanuel Fortes (about whom we can find nothing in English), who informs us:

“A majority of specimens discovered on the site were found to be of the male gender” explains evolutionary biologist and Christian minister, Emmanuel Fortes. “A volcanic eruption at the time covered the group with ashes as they were sleeping. The position of the skeletal remains clearly shows unusual s*xual [sic] practices between male specimens of the group,” he explained during a press conference this week.

Fascinating! The volcanic eruption preserved them in the act! Let’s read on:

According to an analysis of global genomes published this week in the journal Science, Homo erectus DNA sharply declined within the human gene pool 2 million years ago, a phenomenon currently unexplained by mainstream science.

Brace yourself, dear reader. The creationists have some information you’ve never seen before:

“DNA studies done on LGBT community members worldwide clearly show the remnants of the Homo erectus DNA in much stronger percentiles than in heterosexual groups, a fact mainstream scientists dismiss as pseudo-science, but the numbers are there for everyone to see” explains assistant director of the Creation Science Museum, in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Why hasn’t this been reported by the mainstream press? Here’s the final paragraph from Information Nigeria:

Evolutionary biologist and creationist minister, Emmanuel Fortes, strongly believes the recent data should not be taken lightly. “If humanity strives to survive, we must understand the lessons of the past,” he explained during the four hour-long conference. “Homo erectus disappeared because of its unruly defiance of the natural laws of the Earth and thus, destroyed itself. This is a clear warning to humanity that the practice of such unnatural acts will lead to our ultimate destruction as a species,” he warned.

So there you are, dear reader. The American press is obviously keeping this news from us, but fortunately, the word is getting out. What would we do without creation science?

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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19 responses to “Creationists Explain Extinction of Homo Erectus

  1. I think it was demonstrated years ago that it was longevity that turned Homo Erectus into Homo Disfunctionalus.

  2. Homo arschficherinis was an evolutionary dead end.

  3. Evolutionary biologist and creationist minister
    Oxymorons don’t come any better than that…

  4. The Onion couldn’t come up with an article to top this even on April first!

  5. Gay primates too .Curiously, Wallace documented in The Malay Archipelago that primates don’t occur south of there in Australia and New Zealand.
    Apparently Indonesia was a gigantic den of iniquity for quite a while.

  6. docbill1351

    Gay primates? You mean the Vatican?

  7. I can understand the bit about Homo erectus going extinct because they were all gay. What I can’t understand is how in that case they managed to transmit their DNA to the modern LGBT population.

  8. We’ve gone from “God did it” to “Gay did it”.

  9. “…interbreeding with their own gender…” This is astonishing news! That or “breeding” may not mean what the author thinks it does.

    “…deviant and unlawful nature.” Really? They had laws? How would that work exactly if everyone was doing it? Although, I guess if they used phrenology to discover it, it must be true.

  10. realthog,,,,,,,,,best question of the day……

  11. Evidently Spanish creationists think Homo erectus should be renamed Homo sexual.

    But if “sexual activities […] of possible deviant and unlawful nature” were the cause of erectus’ extinction, how did they manage to survive for a million years before dying out?

    Oh, but I forget: these are creationists, who think the entire world is only a few thousand years old.

  12. I wonder how much research Emmanuel Fortes had to do in order to arrive at his breakthrough conclusion that a gay species is doomed to extinction.

  13. The Institute of Creationist Biology in Barcelona and Emmanuel Fortes evidence should not be taken lightly. In fact, they have actual photos, taken by Homo Erectus no less, at the time in question in the aforementioned cave! And the photos are in color, so who could possibly deny Fortes’ expert analysis?

  14. Do they accept that Homo erectus was real? Was it a monkey or was it human or some transitional form?

  15. @DavidK

    I assume the photos have been published by Gawker.

  16. Homo erectus was gay to the point of going extinct but yet they managed to pass their gayness genes on to the present LGBT community. Not only that but according to the article the volcano caught them in the middle of a gay orgy. I mean this is really LOL worthy.

  17. Derek Freyberg

    A quick Google search finds no Creation Science Museum, in Salt Lake City, Utah; and why is the “assistant director” anonymous (unless the article is so badly written that Fortes is the assistant director of the museum, along with being a “leading researcher and Christian minister”)

  18. It can surely not be a matter of blind undirected chance alone that Emmanuel Fortes is–inter alia–an anagram of the following disturbing concepts:

    Females Mounter
    A Resentful Memo
    Females Rout Men
    Ms Funereal Tome
    Fleeter Anus Mom
    Use Me Fart Lemon

    Coincidence? I don’t think so…