More Mirthful Moments with Mary Lou

Mary Lou Bruner

Mary Lou Bruner

You all know about Mary Lou Bruner (pictured above), who will be in the May runoff election for a seat on the Texas State Board of Education (SBOE). It’s the seat that used to be held by Don McLeroy, the creationist dentist. He supports her, as we reported in Don McLeroy Endorses Mary Lou Bruner.

With the fading of the careers of past Creationist Hotties, Mary Lou has become our new creationist poster girl. We look forward to her electoral success, so we can use her as the embodiment of ideal creationist womanhood.

We learned about some more of her words of wisdom at the website AL.com, part of the Alabama Media Group, which publishes several newspapers in Alabama. There we found How Noah killed off the dinosaurs. It was written by Joe Rogers, described as a staff editor for The New York Times. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

The most intriguing candidate by far this election season is not running for president. She’s running for the Texas State Board of Education. Her name is Mary Lou Bruner, and in photos she comes across as pretty much the default image of somebody’s mother, or grandmother.

She is far more than that to us. Then Rogers says:

She is no fan of what she considers federal overreach into education. If elected, she says, “I will stand for Texas values – your values.” But you have to dig a little deeper to find her version of Texas values, because she doesn’t list them all on the campaign website. Nor does she list them on her Facebook page anymore, because, well, some folks found them a little odd. Or more than a little.

We’ve previously described some of her views, so you’ve already seen them. Let’s read on:

Mind you, some of it was just garden-variety Confederate mythology and Christian fundamentalism, like her belief that slavery wasn’t really a factor leading to the Civil War and that school shootings are the result of taking prayer and the Ten Commandments out of the classroom, and a strong preference for the biblical story of creationism rather than godless evolution. Shoot, maybe you believe in all that. A lot of people do.

That’s certainly true in Alabama. Rogers continues:

But she did turn a few heads with her explanation for the extinction of dinosaurs: It was Noah’s fault for not fully appreciating the limitations of his cargo:

[Rogers quotes Mary Lou:] “The dinosaurs on [Noah’s ark] may have been babies and not able to reproduce. … After the flood, the few remaining Behemoths and Leviathans may have become extinct because there was not enough vegetation on earth for them to survive to reproductive age.”

Rogers goes on to describe Mary Lou’s opinion of Islam, which doesn’t interest us, and then he comes through with some new stuff:

Among other Brunerisms:

“Climate change has nothing to do with weather or climate; it is all about system change from capitalism (free enterprise) to Socialism-Communism. The Climate Change HOAX was Karl Marx’s idea.”

“It is a goal of United Nation’s agenda 21 and the One World Order to reduce the population of the world by 2/3.”

“Many people believe the Democrat Party had JFK killed because the socialists and Communists in the party did not want a conservative president.”

Isn’t she wonderful? Rogers concludes with this:

At this point you may believe that the electoral process will take care of Mary Lou Bruner, and that the good people of Texas will send her back into retirement. But the good people of Texas gave her 48 percent of the vote in the first Republican primary. She’s in a runoff in May. There’s an old saying that goes, “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.” We may have a case study here.

There are five comments so far at the website where we found this item, and none of them are favorable to Mary Lou. At this point it looks like the folks in Alabama are intellectually superior to Mary Lou’s Texas constituents. Anyway, we hope she wins. We find creationists to be endlessly entertaining, so his blog needs Mary Lou.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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14 responses to “More Mirthful Moments with Mary Lou

  1. Unfortunately, Mary Lou is correct, In that she does indeed reflect good ol’ Texas values. When I look around my neighborhood, I see her unctuous and empty-eyed face everywhere. If she loses the runoff, it will likely be because she’s not backward and dumb enough. Texans like their politicians as backward looking, racist, and ant-thinking as possible.

    You, my good Curmudgeon, can rest easy in the knowledge that Ms. Bruner, or someone even crazier, will warm that State Board of Education seat.

  2. michaelfugate

    What does she think about contrails?

  3. We have different tastes, dear SC. My favourite creationist hottie is and remains

  4. michaelfugate asks: “What does she think about contrails?”

    She probably thinks they are gases emitted by Obama as he streaks across the sky on his way to sell drugs to gay demons riding on winged statues of the Pope. Or something.

  5. Charles Deetz ;)

    There are a bunch of other ‘kinds’ with special dietary needs that would have died on the ark, or after being released onto a barren mountain. Not to mention the hungry t-rex-kind teenagers ambushing Noah’s carefully cared for cargo after they were released. We shouldn’t have any sloths, one would think.

  6. Our Curmudgeon confesses that his illustrious

    blog needs Mary Lou

    Indeed! As Lenny Bruce famously observed, in his routine about why the Lone Ranger never hangs around to accept ‘thank yous’ from anyone,

    Without polio, Jonas Salk is a putz

  7. For those who take their instruction from the Bible about the Ark: The Bible says that the animals were taken “male and his mate”. An infant does not have a mate.

  8. @TomS:
    The Bible says that the animals were taken “male and his mate”. An infant does not have a mate.
    Hmm, if this is so, it doesn’t necessarily one of each sex, does it? Maybe Noah didn’t sex check the animals as they boarded, or maybe the deity wasn’t concerned about it to begin with?

  9. @TomS – I’m sure if you play “scrounge the Hebrew dictionary” you can find a circumstance where the word for mate can actually mean “betrothed” or some such sh@t. And of course animals are well known for arranged marriages, so the parents certainly sent the young ones onto the ark with intent to couple.

  10. texas, missesippi, thick as oaklahoma, alladamnbama, florida, Mersery…glad the wall aint up yet as we need educated workers from somewhere.!!!!

  11. Actually if she had pursed lips (and you know she does most of the time), she looks a LOT like Dana Carvey’s “Church Lady”. Even the hair style down to the part and color. “Well isn’t that special…SATAN!!!”

  12. Her district comprises the area known best for its depiction in the movie “Bernie.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bernie_(2011_film) It’s a great film and highly recommended. The real Bernie is out of prison and living in Austin now.

    I’ve spent a lot of time in that part of the state, have family there, and yes – it is just as depicted in the movie. Most people are nowhere near as crazy as Mary Lou. But, they are also independent minded to the point of being secessionists, and the more criticism is heaped on her from outside the area, the more they will rally around her.

  13. I’m not sure at all why our SC or anyone else with a functioning frontal cortex would want this down home, peach cobbler eating (I assume, and yes peach cobbler is yummy), fourth rate Alex Jones to win is beyond me. Sure, she’s a source of guaranteed fodder for drooling stupidity, but thats precisely why I don’t want this myopic fool within 500 miles of any educational decision making board. I’m not clear as to how anyone would look forward to her wielding influence as such.

  14. Welcome to the world of the rubber-room religious right.

    What’s really frightening is that plenty of people, and not just in Texas, really really really believe such drivel.