Bad News for Ken Ham’s Ark Park

This news story may contain the craziest, wildest quote from a politician we’ve ever seen. We were alerted to it by one of our clandestine operatives — code named “Blue Grass.”

The news is in the Courier-Journal of Louisville, Kentucky (not far from ol’ Hambo’s Creation Museum). Their headline is Ark Park road left out of House plan. The newspaper has a comments section, and so far the comments aren’t favorable to Hambo.

“Ark Park” in that headline, of course, refers to the biblical tourist attraction currently under construction in Northern Kentucky by a subsidiary of Answers in Genesis (AIG) — the creationist ministry of Ken Ham (ol’ Hambo). But what about the road that was left out of the House plan? This sounds like a serious setback for ol’ Hambo. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Road improvements intended to accommodate heavy traffic headed to the Noah’s Ark park attraction in Grant County are among the projects deleted or delayed in the Kentucky House’s version of the state’s two-year road construction plan.

Deleted or delayed? Gasp! Don’t those fools in the legislature realize that Hambo’s “replica” of the biblical Ark is going to open soon? He’s been lobbying the lawmakers for years to get the roads ready. In December of 2010 we wrote: Noah’s Ark Park: Hambo Seeks More State Money. Back then, the same newspaper reported:

Developers of a creationism theme park have asked the state Transportation Cabinet to improve an Interstate 75 interchange in Grant County to accommodate the projected 1.6 million visitors per year.

After all the time that has passed, the state’s roads still aren’t ready for the expected, ah, deluge of drooling tourists. Let’s read on:

House Republicans charged that majority Democrats helped themselves in the plan – advancing projects in their own districts at the expense of Republican districts, including the ark park work planned in the district of Rep. Brian Linder, R-Dry Ridge.

Hambo’s Ark is in Linder’s district. He must be furious! The newspaper story continues:

The controversial project of the Christian ministry Answers in Genesis called Ark Encounter is set to open this summer. Linder said an existing interchange on I-75 and road will not be able to handle visitors expected to the attraction. The project was within Gov. Matt Bevin’s proposed road bill and the work must be done quickly, Linder said.

Okay, dear reader, now get ready. Here comes the quote we warned you about. To make it even more memorable, we’re not only putting Linder’s words in bold font, but also in red:

“This political partisanship has got to stop. … At some point we need to really stop worrying about who’s in control of the House and start worrying about who’s in control of the universe,” Linder said. “The only thing I can think of is either you’ve got something against me or you’ve got something against God.”

Lordy, lordy. It doesn’t get any better than that! Moving along:

But the House approved its revised two-year construction plan on largely party lines in a 56-40 vote. … Rep. Leslie Combs, a Pikeville Democrat who chairs the House budget subcommittee that developed the House plan, told Linder, “Yes, I do believe in God.” And Combs said she accommodated the requests of the few Republicans who came to her with requests for projects.

Then what happened to the road to Hambo’s Ark? Another excerpt:

Combs emphasized that a plunge in the gas tax rate prior to a year ago, when the General Assembly established a floor rate for the tax, has limited the available funds to spend on roads.

Well! What do you think, dear reader? Was it prudence, or impiety? It seems extremely unwise for the legislature to engage in fiscal blasphemy — especially regarding a symbol of heavenly wrath like the Ark. What climactic disasters will Kentucky experience as a result? We expect to hear from Hambo about this, so stay tuned to this blog!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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23 responses to “Bad News for Ken Ham’s Ark Park

  1. House Republicans charged that majority Democrats helped themselves in the plan – advancing projects in their own districts at the expense of Republican districts, including the ark park work planned in the district of Rep. Brian Linder, R-Dry Ridge.

    Gasp! People have other higher priorities with the state transportation budget allocations than pandering to Ham’s whims? How unchristian! I’m sure Ham will have something to say about this, maybe another lawsuit, maybe pleading with the governor, maybe an email from god, who knows?

  2. Perhaps god, upset at the bad press he gets from drowning all but eight people a few millennia ago, does not want a constant reminder of his actions so he has stopped the road from being built to sink the ark.

  3. That road improvement project was something like $2 million. If you Google Maps “ark encounter” you’ll find that Exit 154 off of I-75 takes you directly to State Hwy 36, and west to Ark Encounter Drive. Less than a mile from the exit. There’s also a Texaco Plaza nearby in case you run out of snax.

    Hwy 36 appears to be a two-lane road, and Ark Encounter Drive is a little smaller.

    As for 1.6 million visitors per year, this is a building that looks like an imaginary boat and maybe a petting zoo. Sure, they’ll have a spike of gawkers on July 7, but after that it will be the long, slow glide into bankruptcy.

  4. There will have to be some reason, some people to blame …

  5. “The only thing I can think of is either you’ve got something against me or you’ve got something against God.”

    Sometimes I wonder if people like Linder are aware of the strange noises that are escaping their heads.

  6. Red bold font doesn’t do that quite justice.

    Wow!

  7. Derek Freyberg

    That’s what happens when you are in a Republican district in a state with a Democratic-controlled legislature (or vice versa, I’m sure). Sad, but all too plausible.

  8. michaelfugate

    Wouldn’t Ken’s tax breaks have paid for the interchange?

  9. “There’s also a Texaco Plaza nearby in case you run out of snax.”
    I wonder if the Ark Park will allow outside snax to be brought in by the captive audience?

  10. “Sometimes I wonder if people like Linder are aware of the strange noises that are escaping their heads.”

    Or thinking they are saying something important, strange noises escaping their nether regions. . . .

  11. Hey Linder and Hambone too: if the alleged great sky fairy really wanted the road improved he/she/it could bloody well build it on their own,

  12. Maybe he isn’t getting a new road, but he’s got a Texaco and two motels in his 2% TIF zone.

  13. So,the same god who creates everything from universes to head lice is unable to create a little road or a big thing that’s supposed to be a copy of a boat built by a 5oo (or so) year old guy and his elderly sons? Oh, this is also the god who was unable to defeat a tribe in battle because they had chariots of iron. What an incompetent tool Hambo drools over.

  14. michaelfugate

    Faith and mustard seeds?

  15. Given the fact that you can still purchase tickets for opening day I don’t really think they are going to have too much of a traffic problem.

  16. michaelfugate

    I wonder if it will rain?

  17. Pete Moulton

    waldteufel: “Or thinking they are saying something important, strange noises escaping their nether regions. . .

    Considering where their heads are, it amounts to the same thing, don’t you think?

  18. “This political partisanship has got to stop. … At some point we need to really stop worrying about who’s in control of the House and start worrying about who’s in control of the universe,” Linder said. “The only thing I can think of is either you’ve got something against me or you’ve got something against God.”

    Therefore, line up to support road improvements intended to help out the Hamster’s boat show.

    In other words, vote for Ark pork or you’re against God.

  19. RetiredSciGuy

    Being aware of the state of public education in the Commonwealth of Kentucky, I can’t help but think there are better uses for Kentucky’s money than making it a tad easier for yahoos to see a fake ark.

    God could negate the need for road improvements with one well-placed lightning bolt and resultant fire. Hey — He already had a little target practice over at Ham’s Creation Museum zip line, didn’t He?

  20. Before they do road improvements shouldn’t they see if it’s going to be successful? It could receive a tepid response from the public. I’m thinking of another creation museum–the Wyatt museum–that’s kitty corner to David Rives ministry trailer. Despite having an actual piece of Noah’s ark along with the Ark of the Covenant, if you want to go it is only certain days of the week and “be sure you call ahead”.

  21. RetiredSciGuy

    @Troy: (Chuckle!) Been by it (the Wyatt “Museum”)– it’s in an abandoned re-purposed gas station on I-65 in Tennessee. Look it up on Google Earth; you can see it on “Street View”. I’m pretty sure that’s how I’ll “visit” the Ark Park once Google updates after it’s built.

  22. I’ve seen it. It gives me considerable respect for David Rives to pull off his racket in such low key accommodations. All he needs is a decent camera, a green wall, and a trailer in the sticks and the results are actually quite passable. I imagine there is a walk in closet full of Bible Boy suits. Another room with a couple of desk top computers, a tangle of wires, and that’s all it takes.
    I’m assuming that as-is traffic won’t back up I-75, if it does well yes they should do something. (Likely the delay will be families desperately digging in their pockets and purses for a sawbuck to pay for parking.) As for Google Earth, it still is a bare field, but someone did post a picture that shows the street view of some of the construction. I agree that’s probably the best way to see it. Reminds me of when I paid $30 to see the Crazy Horse statue in S. Dakota, which was visible quite nicely from the road.

  23. I don’t see that there will be any problem here. Visitors can arrive by boat, floating on the river of drool.