Creationist Wisdom #671: Every Word Is True

Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears in the Tennessean of Nashville, Tennessee, the state capital. The letter is titled Gideon Bible should be official book. It’s the first of three letters at that link, so although the newspaper has a comments feature, so far none apply to this letter.

Because the writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, we won’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. He uses only his initials — which are D.D. — therefore not only is his first name unknown, so is his gender. We’ll assume it’s a man. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!

The Tri-Cities in Tennessee was named America’s fifth-most Bible-minded city. People were considered Bible-minded if they had read the Bible in the last week and believe strongly in the accuracy of the Bible. With Chattanooga found to be first in Bible-minded cities, we can be proud Tennessee is probably the No. 1 fan of the best-selling book in history — the Holy Bible.

That’s good to know, and we’re happy for the folks who live there. It helps to explain why, other than Louisiana, Tennessee is the only state that has enacted the Discoveroids’ Academic Freedom bill. But where is DD going with this? Patience, dear reader, he’s getting to it:

I was saddened that last year efforts to make the Holy Bible the official book of Tennessee while passing the state House, failed in the state Senate.

We wrote about that — see Bible — Official State Book of Tennessee? DD is saddened — but he has hope. He says:

I am happy to hear Sen. Southerland has renewed his push this year to make the Bible the official book of Tennessee.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! DD tells us:

I support making the Gideon Bible the official book of Tennessee to honor both the Gideons and the Bible. The New Testament they gave me in school has changed my life. They are headquartered in Nashville and have given out over 2 billion Bibles and New Testaments over more than 100 years.

Hurray for the Gideons! Let’s read on:

Other books inform; only the Bible transforms. Millions have given up drugs and crime after reading the Bible.

We never heard that before. DD continues:

God has given us truth in every word of the Bible and the truth can’t be improved on.

Hey — do you think DD might be a creationist? While you’re pondering that, here’s the end of his letter:

Reading, believing and living up to the Bible commands such as “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is the only sure way to live up to Tennessee’s official slogan: “Tennessee — America at its best.”

An interesting letter. Thanks, DD.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

add to del.icio.usAdd to Blinkslistadd to furlDigg itadd to ma.gnoliaStumble It!add to simpyseed the vineTailRankpost to facebook

. AddThis Social Bookmark Button . Permalink for this article

12 responses to “Creationist Wisdom #671: Every Word Is True

  1. “Gideon Bible should be official book.”
    It already is. Of Gideons International.

    “Other books inform; only the Bible transforms.”
    Well, the Bible wasn’t the only book that transformed me into the hardcore atheist I am now, but it certainly was instrumental.

    “Bible commands such as “do unto others as you would have them do unto you”
    Yeah, except that exactly this command isn’t unique to the Bible. It can be found elsewhere too.

  2. DD asserts: “Millions have given up drugs and crime after reading the Bible.” And the data on which you base this assertion is what, DD? The voices in your head?

  3. Tennessee is “America at its best” at doing what exactly? There are only 8 states with even worse homicide rates than Tennessee (37 states have lower homicide rates, and Tennessee is tied with 2 other states). http://www.deathpenaltyinfo.org/murder-rates-nationally-and-state#MRord

    Tennessee can also boast about having the 4th highest crime index in the nation. http://www.usa.com/rank/us–crime-index–state-rank.htm

    Tennessee has the 12th highest poverty rate, and the 12th lowest high school graduation rate. http://www.usatoday.com/story/money/business/2015/01/03/24-7-wall-st-most-dangerous-states/21214169/
    http://247wallst.com/special-report/2014/09/23/americas-most-and-least-educated-states/4/

    All of this would seem to place Tennessee no higher than in the bottom 8 percent. But perhaps that is what DD actually meant by his “best” ranking.

  4. Reading, believing and living up to the Bible commands such as “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is the only sure way to live up to Tennessee’s official slogan: “Tennessee — America at its best.”

    One could make an almost endless list of biblical commands that D.D. would find very difficult to believe and live up to. Most of which carry severe penalties.

    The “golden rule” is problematic as well. If, for example, I went up to a co-worker and gave her an unsolicited smooch, I would be slapped or reported to HR or both. The defense that I was only following the golden rule, and doing unto her as I would have her do unto me… would only get me in further trouble. I get the gist, but it is highly dependent on both the parties wanting the same things done, or not done, unto them.

  5. SC did you read the second letter, Legislature highlights contradictions. It contains this gem “Thankfully, the promoters of the Bible as the state book have agreed that the Bible is only a historical and not a religious book.”
    My, oh my. I see great things in Tennessee’s future.

  6. Paul S asks: “SC did you read the second letter, Legislature highlights contradictions.”

    No. I can only handle one of these things at a time.

  7. “…the best-selling book in history — the Holy Bible….”
    Is it really?? If the gideons buy 5000 copies and give them to everyone, that is only 1 sale, not 5000!!! And this goes for all the churches and religious groups. So how many buyBulls are bought at BOOKSTORES as individual sales?!?!?!?

  8. @Zetopan
    Yes, your points are well taken, but per D.D.’s urging, if the book were the official book of Tennessee AND if everyone read it and ignored everything else, those numbers would magically drop to zero. Chattanooga and Tennessee would be the new eden on earth, without a doubt.

  9. @L.Long
    You’re taking him literally.

  10. And the only thing that should be taken literally is the Bubble, not the ones who refer to it without reading it too much.

  11. RetiredSciGuy

    If the bill were to be enacted, the Bible would be right up there with the Barrett M82/M107, the official state rifle of Tennessee. Furthermore, our good friend and fellow commentator Tomato Addict will no doubt be pleased with Tennessee’s official state fruit.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Tennessee_state_symbols

    I didn’t see Jack Daniels on the list, though, even though Bud Light must be the official beer of NASCAR — or something. Maybe it’s the official beer of Spring Break or the Daytona 500, and I’m getting it confused.

    Well, at any rate, here’s a toast to “Official State whatevers”! Long may they keep our state politicians occupied!

  12. Doctor Stochastic

    Including “and” and “the”?