Earth Day? Bah! How About Uranus Day?

Today is Earth Day. If you find that thrilling, we’re happy for you, but your Curmudgeon’s interests are far more cosmic.

According to Wikipedia, Uranus, which we tactfully refer to as the Seventh Planet, was discovered by Sir William Herschel. He first observed it on 13 March 1781, and initially reported it on 26 April 1781 — 235 years ago. It’s the first planet discovered with a telescope. Creationism had nothing to do with it.

Because the world was made aware of Herschel’s discovery on 26 April, we think that’s the appropriate date on which to celebrate Uranus Day. And it’s only four days from today! That’s when we should get together with friends, raise our glasses, and declare: “Here’s to Uranus!”

This is an idea you can all, ah, get behind. As a creative challenge, you might want to suggest other slogans for Uranus Day. Tasteful slogans, of course.

Your Curmudgeon is pleased to offer this proposal as a service to all mankind.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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19 responses to “Earth Day? Bah! How About Uranus Day?

  1. Great to celebrate Young Earth Day, Flat Earth Day, Hollow Earth Day and Uranus Day! I think we know why God gave us Uranus, but why did God give men nipples?

  2. But, but, since Uranus is not mentioned anywhere in the bible, it must not exist.

  3. The Bible mentions the Morning Star and the Evening Star, which are the planet Venus, although it isn’t clear that they are identified. Some translations of Amos 5:26 name the planet Saturn. Of course, the Earth is mentioned, but not as being a planet. Other astronomical objects mentioned are the Sun and Moon and stars: a few individual stars and constellations (most famously in the Book of Job). I don’t think that there is any mention of comets or meteors or nebulae. I think that the mention of the Sun turning dark and the Moon turning red may be references to eclipses. Does that cover all of the astronomy in the Bible?

  4. I’d like to see Uranus renamed Caelus. He wears a flowing robe the color of the midnight sky spangled with the twinkling light of a thousand distant suns.

    Yay! Hambo’s Ark park destroyed in flash flood

  5. Why hasn’t anyone suggested the most appropriate words for a toast on Uranus day? bottoms up!

  6. Oh, it just occurred to me that the mentions of stars falling in the Book of Revelations may be meteor showers.

  7. The Bicycling Guitarist suggests: “bottoms up!”

    Nice! You get to ride in the float during the Uranus Day parade.

  8. Everyone knows the ark park didn’t flood. Thought it was fun anyway.

  9. Does the Ark Park carry flood insurance?

  10. Cnocspeireag

    You remind me of a time fifty years ago when not everything collectable was an investment opportunity. I was cleaning a basement of a scientific society. As a student on vacation, I was both reasonably careful and cheap. I found a heavy, disintegrating box under an inch of dust and revealed a yellowing label ‘Herschel speculum’. I was amazed that no one seemed particularly excited. Someone even suggested that there might be another one ‘down there somewhere’.

  11. What about asteroid day, cause when the big one hits we will all be kissing our asses goodbye.

  12. @Troy: Hey, Bro, you had me there for a moment. It was the “9 ON YOUR SIDE” that got me, since channel 9 is the ABC affiliate in Cincinnati, the closest city to the Ark Park. Then I thought, “How could it flood? It’s located atop a ridge.” And then again, there was michaelfugate’s Snopes post.

    Speaking of the Ark Park, I just drove past it last Monday, April 18. You can see it from I-65 if you know where to look, but it’s not obvious. It is big, though, although it’s about 3/4s of a mile west of the interstate just south of Dry Ridge, Ky. The photo in the Snopes post appears to be recent. That’s about how it looked last Monday.

  13. It’s built on a ridge? I guess that they don’t want to take any chances of it being embarrassingly tested by rising water.

  14. What happened to Ben Stein anyway? The first time I noticed him was in the early 90s as the nerdy science teacher on TV’s “The Wonder Years.” In one episode he kept saying “Uranus” and the students had fun with that. In 2008 he became the most well-known anti-evolution activist with that sleazy propaganda film “Expelled.” Critics graciously pointed out dozens of misconceptions – obviously fed to him by the Discovery Institute – but to my knowledge he never replied, either to admit having been scammed or to defend those misconceptions. Rather he seems to have kept a low profile, only occasionally repeating some of those sound bites, as if he hadn’t read the corrections. If I missed any updates, please let me know.

  15. RSG: The destruction of Ark Park would have been a better April fool’s joke, but it is still April.
    Ben Stein was in the Nixon administration in some capacity, so he is political/conservative before he became the droning teacher in Ferris Bueller’s day off. I’m not sure if anyone remembers the “Win Ben Stein’s money” where he’d compete with challengers asking the same questions. He is quite knowledgeable on a broad range of topics. This of course doesn’t make him dead wrong with his “Expelled’ b.s.
    I do find it interesting that there are Jewish Biblical literalists like Stein, David Klinghoffer, and Casey Luskin. Rather uncommon anyway.

  16. The ark image in the Snopes article shows quite an elaborate bow structure. Curiously, this is not described in the biblical instructions for the ark.

    Presumably there will be a description for visitors to the park of how and why Noah undertook to build the massive prow structure.

  17. Ask anyone to describe Noah’s Ark, and they are sure to mention things like how it holds lots of animals and how it floats on water. Neither of which is true of this thing. The Bible does not mention any propulsion or steering – no sails or oars or rudder – and that is true of this thing, too. One wonders why they bother with any resemblance to a boat.

  18. @FrankJ

    What happened to Ben Stein anyway? … [H]e seems to have kept a low profile, only occasionally repeating some of those sound bites, as if he hadn’t read the corrections.

    Let’s remember, Ben Stein worked in the Nixon White House before he became a famous economics instructor in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”. He may never have encountered reality, shame or humility before and doesn’t know how to process them.