Mary Lou Countdown — 16 Days To Go

Mary Lou Bruner

Mary Lou Bruner

Your Curmudgeon is in a frenzy. We can’t eat; we can’t sleep; we can’t concentrate on anything other than the fact that on 24 May — only 16 days from now! — there will be a runoff election to choose the Republican candidate for a seat on the Texas State Board of Education (SBOE).

This isn’t just any school board election. The leading candidate is Mary Lou Bruner — yes, she has a write-up in Wikipedia — which says:

[She] has been called the “looniest politician in Texas”, has been publicly ridiculed for her views. “I don’t know why I’m getting so much attention” Bruner said in an interview. “I’m just saying what I believe.”

Mary Lou’s opponent for the nomination is Keven Ellis, a chiropractor. They are both seeking the seat currently held by Thomas Ratliff, who is not running for re-election. Until 2010, that seat had been occupied by the legendary Don McLeroy, the creationist dentist, and as we reported earlier, Don McLeroy Endorses Mary Lou Bruner.

Mary Lou captured our attention — and our hearts — when a series of her statements and tweets were disclosed, revealing a strong preference for the biblical story of creationism rather than godless evolution, and that school shootings are the result of taking prayer and the Ten Commandments out of the classroom. There are other statements that we’ve mentioned before, but which we’ll repeat here for your enjoyment, and you can see even more in her Wikipedia write-up. Mary Lou has said:

• President Obama was a gay male prostitute when he was younger to support his drug habit.

• Many people believe the Democrat Party had JFK killed because the socialists and Communists in the party did not want a conservative president.

• “The GLBTQ agenda is one of the big reasons liberals want 3-year-old and 4-year-old children to attend public school Pre-K programs. The federal government wants to indoctrinate the little children” who will “become confused about their sexuality” and “rebellious.”

• Climate change has nothing to do with weather or climate; it is all about system change from capitalism (free enterprise) to Socialism-Communism. The Climate Change HOAX was Karl Marx’s idea.

• Much of what happens in the world is controlled by a secret group known as The Illuminati.

• It is a goal of United Nation’s agenda 21 and the One World Order to reduce the population of the world by 2/3

• The dinosaurs on [Noah’s ark] may have been babies and not able to reproduce. … After the flood, the few remaining Behemoths and Leviathans may have become extinct because there was not enough vegetation on earth for them to survive to reproductive age.

Your Curmudgeon is swooning. Who isn’t impressed by Mary Lou’s formidable grasp of science, history, and contemporary political issues? Not only that, but there’s also her heavenly beauty. With the fading of the careers of past Creationist Hotties, Mary Lou has become our new creationist poster girl. We look forward to her success in winning the McLeroy seat. Verily, she is the embodiment of ideal creationist womanhood.

Your Curmudgeon delights in reporting the activities of creationists in public office, so once again we say: Go, Mary Lou!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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9 responses to “Mary Lou Countdown — 16 Days To Go

  1. It must be really strange and scary to live in a world so divorced from reality as Mary Lou’s is.

  2. Eric Lipps

    [She] has been called the “looniest politician in Texas”, has been publicly ridiculed for her views. “I don’t know why I’m getting so much attention” Bruner said in an interview. “I’m just saying what I believe.”

    Er . . . Mary Lou, that’s why you’re getting so much attention, and why you’re getting the kind of attention you are.

    I’d be fascinated to learn just where she’s getting this stuff.

  3. michaelfugate

    I wonder if some of her wackiness doesn’t arise because she has been an authority over young children. It is so easy to know more about everything than they do – to always be “right”. For some people, this may transition into believing he or she knows more than everybody about everything.

  4. Texans must truly be really desperate, and stupid, to elect someone as wacky as this.

  5. The stupid with this one is strong!!!
    She will be the one selected to lead!!
    Most people do not like anyone smarter than them in office, which speaks volumes about the majority of texas voters.
    But the force is cloudy and the future may not be thus!

  6. waldteufel


    Indeed. I think you’re on to something here. Many years ago, I dated a woman for awhile who had taught first grade for several years, and although she was not nearly as whacked out as our dear Mary Lou, her thought processes were much as you describe. I came to call it the “Kindergarten Syndrome.”

  7. I’m reminded of the following quote:
    “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
    George Carlin

  8. Dave Luckett

    A cursory google finds only a number of comments that there appears to be no source at all for this vile piece of slander. It might be a half-perceived half-sentence she half-heard at a county fair or something. Nobody knows.

    They call freaks like her members of the “religious right”. What religion is that? It isn’t Christianity. Well, not the religion supposed to be founded on the precepts of Jesus of Nazareth and Paul of Tarsus, anyway. Matthew 12:36; Mark 7:22-3. Jesus called slander a defilement. The crazies love to quote Romans 1:20, but in the very same passage Paul rates gossip-mongering and slander as equal – yes, equal! – to homosexual acts in wickedness. And both of them were alike in denouncing hypocrisy.

    There’s a part of me that wonders whether there might be a God, but that He is what we make him out to be. If so, I shudder for this woman’s fate when the monster she worships comes to judge her.

  9. Mary Lou Bruner should be aiming higher than the Texan SBOE.

    Surely this marvellous woman will make a wonderful US Secretary of Education in the Trump cabinet!