Separate Bathrooms for Creationists?

This is what happens around here when there’s not much of our kind of news to report. Hey — it’s Friday the 13th, so we can blame it on that too. Therefore, dear reader, if you can forgive your Curmudgeon for straying off topic, here’s something stimulating to think about.

Most of you are aware of the current controversy in the US about the usage of bathrooms. Wikipedia has an article about the North Carolina Public Facilities Privacy & Security Act, which says:

One contentious element of the law eliminates anti-discrimination protections for gay, transgender, genderqueer, and intersex people, and legislates that in government buildings, individuals may only use restrooms that correspond to the sex on their birth certificates. This has been criticized because it prevents transgender people who do not or cannot alter their birth certificates from using the restroom consistent with their gender identity.

With all the news coverage that has generated, we can’t help thinking about a similar issue that involves a much greater number of people — bathrooms for creationists. Think about it. Should creationists be required to use the same bathrooms as hell-bound secular evolutionists?

We know what you’re thinking: If separate bathrooms are provided for creationists, won’t that be expensive? We don’t think so. Remember, it was the Romans who shocked the world with municipal sanitation and their practice of frequent bathing. There’s nothing comparable in the bible, so bible bathrooms should be very easy to provide.

We assume creationists diligently follow the biblical instructions for sanitation, so they probably indulge in ritual bathing for religious occasions and washing their hands after touching dead people. They undoubtedly engage in foot-washing too. But that’s probably all they do, so providing for those special ablutions should be necessary only for church bathrooms. It wouldn’t be expensive to install creationist facilities in public places, because washing wouldn’t be necessary. The term “bathroom” wouldn’t even be appropriate.

Creationists should appreciate the ability to use, ah, restrooms reserved for their own kind. Access could be granted based on a profession of faith, the sort that’s required to get a job with Ken Ham’s operations. The rest of us would be denied access to those places, so we’d have to use the traditional facilities.

This is an issue that all creationists should support with great enthusiasm. If a small number of transgender people can generate so much public concern for their needs, the creationists should be able to quickly pass laws favorable to them in every state. Won’t that be grand?

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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8 responses to “Separate Bathrooms for Creationists?

  1. Creationists should be banned from all restrooms to prevent them from installing cameras…

  2. What about the trans-creationists? Someone may be born into a YEC adherent family, then one day realize they have been OEC all along and “come out of the water closet”.

    Has anyone done an estimate of how many separate bathrooms architects need to plan for to accommodate the “post modern potty” fad?

  3. Deuteronomy 23:12-14

  4. TomS, not everyone has memorized the Good Book. These are the passages from Deuteronomy 23 (King James Version, of course):

    12 Thou shalt have a place also without the camp, whither thou shalt go forth abroad:

    13 And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:

    14 For the Lord thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee.

  5. Ken Phelps

    So if I leave a turd on my porch, will Jehovah (and his witnesses) stay away?

  6. Charles Deetz ;)

    In all seriousness, this is driving me nuts. Just let people go pee. Wan’t a problem before, I think Obama admin directive is true to that. People’s inability to say/admit that they are just creeped-out by gender issues is making things worse, blaming the problem on molesters. Much higher risk of a priest being a problem in the boy’s bathroom, I’d say.

    And for us evilutionists who look at the facts, know that setting up bathrooms for some other animals by gender would be quite difficult. Even those are at least accepted as ‘designed that way’ by god, I assume.

  7. Do creationists read verse 14 above and think the Lord literally walks (or walked) through camps and didn’t pay attention to where he was stepping?

    If so, I’d like to warn the Lord that my kids didn’t pick up their Legos last night, so watch out if you’re strolling through my basement.

  8. There’s a reason for all this piddling around over utter crap. It goes with Unsound Science laws and putting the Ten Commandments where the Constitution says you mustn’t: