Journey into the Drool Zone

[30-second sound clip] You are about to leave reality and travel into another dimension — a dimension that exists beyond the laws of nature, unknowable by evidence and reason — a wondrous land of Oogity Boogity! There’s a signpost up ahead: Next stop — The Drool Zone.

This isn’t something we could have found with our usual news sweeps, and it doesn’t qualify for our list of Self-published Geniuses because there is no press release. It’s only through the tireless efforts of one of our clandestine operatives — code-named “Blue Grass” — that we were informed of a paradigm-shattering book.

The title is Truth and Consequences (Amazon listing). Hey — it’s only $31.63 in paperback. What a bargain!

The publisher is something called iUniverse. Yes, it’s a vanity press. Their website says: “iUniverse is a self publishing company that makes it possible for writers to achieve the dream of becoming a published author.”

The author is Ralph E. Carlson. Amazon provides no information about him. For that, we have to go to the author’s own website. There we learn:

Ralph Carlson has a bachelor’s degree in metallurgy, and he holds an MS and PhD in mathematics from the University of Pittsburgh. He has been employed by Bettis Atomic Power Laboratory, Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, and Grove City College. Now retired, he and his wife, Kay, have three adult children.

The only way to learn what the book is about is at the author’s website. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

Have you ever asked the question, does God exist? Have you ever wondered about the source of life on earth — and in particular, human life? Creationism, intelligent design, and evolution are three approaches to answering these questions. While evolutionists are adamant that their claim has been proven to be a scientific fact, it turns out that their so-called “proof” uses an invalid logical argument. Hence, at this point in time, evolution is merely a conjecture and not a scientific fact.

Gasp — evolution is merely a conjecture! Let’s read on:

Instead of attempting to answer these questions through inductive arguments, Truth and Consequences offers a different logical approach that restates the questions as propositions. A proposition is a statement that is either true or false. Then the consequences of their respective truth values can be analyzed.

Wow — a whole new way to think about science! Not by Inductive reasoning, starting with observable facts, but by Deductive reasoning, starting with propositions. This is exciting! We continue:

The first proposition is: an Infinite Intelligent Entity (IIE) exists. If that proposition is true, it leads to a second proposition: the IIE created life on Earth, and in particular, human life.

Huh? How does the first proposition lead to the second? Perhaps that will be explained as we plunge deeper. Here’s more:

If both propositions are true, it leads to a third proposition: there is life after death.

Again, we don’t yet see how the preceding proposition implies the next, but let’s move along:

If any of these propositions are false, the bottom line is that it leads to a dead end.

No problem there. This is our last excerpt:

Ultimately, if these foundational propositions are true, it leads to a fourth proposition: Jesus lived some two-thousand years ago. By continuing to build on these propositions and follow their conclusions, we can better discuss not only the existence of God as such but also contemporary issues like modern-day threats to Christianity in America.

So there you are, dear reader. If you want to learn more, you’ll need to buy the book. But be warned: Once you enter The Drool Zone, there’s no going back.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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15 responses to “Journey into the Drool Zone

  1. Doesn’t give how many pages in this significant tome. I suspect it’s less than 100 pages with big print. But in his favor, his wife and/or daughter or other relatives give him high marks for this outstanding work.

    Interestingly, Amazon lists the book for $31.63, whereas the iuniverse site lists it for $12.95 (paperback), or just $3.99 (ebook)!

  2. “This is exciting!”
    Sort of. It’s any attempt to use Euclides’ systematical approach, except that Ralph suddenly has thrown mathematical rigor into the dustbin.

  3. I love the reviews (on author’s site):

    Connie: What a capacity for knowledge. He’s brilliant.

    Nancy: Everyone should read this book.

  4. If he’s right, which Jesus do you like best?

    I prefer the Jesus that sings lead vocals for Lynyrd Skynyrd.

  5. “Infinite Intelligent Entity (IIE)” I like that! So much better than “God”, which conjures images of primitively dressed ignorant natives dancing around a ceremonial fire offering sacrifices for a good hunt.
    Amidst an unending sea of self published geniuses, how does “Bluegrass” do it? Perhaps “Bluegrass” is infinitely intelligent!?

  6. Sorry dimwit, but philosophy proves NOTHING!!!! So long as you are using word salad all you are doing is making BS sound intelligent! WHERE IS the PROOF of anything!!!!

  7. The author has everything totally backwards. It’s true that if there’s an afterlife, six day creation, and all the rest, then it’s necessary for his “Infinite Intelligent Entity (IIE)” to exist. But it’s bizarre to say that if his IIE exists, then everything in the bible must be true.

  8. Mike Elzinga

    Actually, “If wishes were horses, beggers would ride” makes more sense.

    Ralph E. Carlson’s “deductive logic” is more like, “If pigs could fly, there would be no tornados.”

  9. @mnbo
    It reminds me of the More Geometrico of Spinoza.

  10. I’m still thinking on this…
    As a PhD in mathematics you’d think he’d tread carefully around “Infinity”. Infinity isn’t a real or an imaginary number. I hear the popping of his metaphysical balloon and all that remains is hot air.

  11. And how do propositions lead to other propositions?

  12. Eric Lipps

    Ralph E. Carlson saith:

    While evolutionists are adamant that their claim has been proven to be a scientific fact, it turns out that their so-called “proof” uses an invalid logical argument. Hence, at this point in time, evolution is merely a conjecture and not a scientific fact.

    What, exactly, is the “invalid logical argument” he’s talking about? He doesn’t seem to say, at least in this quote.

    As for Ralph’s four “propositions,” everything hinges on the first one being true. If it isn’t, everything afterward collapses, even assuming that the first actually does lead to the second, the second to the third, and the third to the fourth—which itself is a transparently invalid logical argument.

  13. If something is mathematically proven, then it is not a fact. Facts are contingent truths, things which happen to be the case: “Bismark is the capital of North Dakota.” “Water is H2O.”

  14. Amazon has another listing for the book where you can get it much cheaper than $31.63 [ ]

    Kindle $3.99
    Paperback $11.77
    9 Used from $7.69
    16 New from $7.13

    This listing says the book is 101 pages and has two “reviews”, one 5-star and one 4-star. Not too surprising, the 5-star review is from the author. Though I found it odd that his “review” shows him as being a “Verified Purchase” of the paperback version, meaning he bought a copy of his own book from Amazon. Really?

  15. Proposition #1: Carlson is a trained mathematician.
    which leads inevitably to…
    Proposition #2: Carlson is an expert on religion and evolution.

    Likewise, at the DI
    Proposition #1: (insert name here) is a trained lawyer.
    which leads inevitably to…
    Proposition #2: (insert name here) is an expert on evolution

    Or, at AIG
    Proposition #1: (insert name here) is a trained gynecologist.
    which leads inevitably to…
    Proposition #2: (insert name here) is an expert on evolution

    Or at ICR
    Proposition #1: (insert name here) is a trained astronomer.
    which leads inevitably to…
    Proposition #2: (insert name here) is an expert on evolution

    The logic is unassailable.