Rev. David Rives — The Flood Really Happened

The three-day holiday weekend is starting out to be great! The Drool-o-tron™ alerted us with its sirens and flashing lights. The blinking letters of its wall display said WorldNetDaily (WND). The Drool-o-tron™ had found the latest video by the brilliant and articulate leader of David Rives Ministries.

Our computer was locked onto this headline at WND: Noah’s flood upends entire evolutionary doctrine. You gotta admit it, dear reader — that is an intriguing headline!

The actual title of the rev’s video is “Why You Should Believe in Creation, not Evolution — Geological Record.” He patiently explains that evolution requires gradual geologic activity and lots of time. Evolutionists foolishly assume that the slow rate of changes they see today were the same in the past. However, the Flood described in Genesis accounts for all the evidence we see in the world today — rock strata, fossils, mountains, the distribution of species around the world — everything!

Not only that, but the biblical account of the Flood gives specific information: dates, the duration of the Flood, even the age of Noah at the time. It’s accurate recorded history! The scope and detail of the rev’s information will astound you!

The rev is casually dressed for this one, but that doesn’t matter. There’s no way to deny it — he’s the cutest rev you’ve ever seen! This video is a long one. It runs four and a half minutes before the commercial at the end. It’s definitely worth watching. We urge you to click over to WND and see it for yourself. There’s no better guide to geology than the rev!

As we always do with the rev’s videos, we dedicate the comments section for your use as an Intellectual Free Fire Zone. You know the rules. Okay, the comments are open. Go for it!

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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21 responses to “Rev. David Rives — The Flood Really Happened

  1. I would really like to tie these people down and give them an injection of truth serum and find out if they really believe the $hit they say. I sometimes think that they are simply cynical individuals that just spout drool to control the masses of followers and raise more money.

  2. John Oliver, in his usual brilliant style, does a marvelous send up of these creeps. He communicates with one of them and describes the exchange, then he actually incorporates a church of his own devising and it becomes certified – said church is called “Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption”. You can see it all at:

  3. So…. Rives makes a list of observations of the natural world, then states without any evidence whatsoever that one would expect all of these things if the flood actually occurred. I wouldn’t have expected any of them, other than many animals would have drowned. For example, Rives states with a straight face that if a global flood occurred, one would expect an ice age. (an ice age not documented anywhere in the bible, but…) etc. etc.

    He also throws out a couple of odd things, such as, if there was a flood one would expect a genetic bottleneck. That’s actually true, one would expect it, but there is no such bottleneck. So is Rives disproving his own message, or is he just that ignorant?

    Rives just has to be home-schooled, with no further eduction. He doesn’t mention degrees or anything about his education even on his own website.

    He is such a waste of a good telescope.

  4. John Oliver, in his usual brillianht fashion, does a marvelous sendup of these creeps. He communicates with one of them and describes the exchange which shows how money grubbing they are. Then he actually establishes a tax exemp church, called “Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption”, to show how easy it is to set up such a scam. You can see it all at:

  5. waldteufel

    In previous videos, the cutest rev ever displayed his almost total ignorance of cosmology, physics,and biology. In this video, the little cutie displays his amazing ignorance of geology, paleontology, and . . . .

    So much cuteness and so much ignorance. What a package!

  6. Was there anyone, before modern science, who inferred from the Biblical story of the Flood, that there was an Ice Age or a genetic bottleneck in humanity?

  7. Eddie Janssen

    Maybe the rev can explain what the animals ate in the first weeks after they left the Ark (besides each other ofcourse…).
    And no, green stuff that had been left over from the first weeks of the Flood is not the answer.

  8. michaelfugate

    manna from heaven?

  9. Eddie Janssen

    I would not be surprised at all if they came up with that answer.

  10. Don’t forget that the Flood lasted for a whole year. I don’t think that the two elephants would have been happy eating rotten trees.

  11. Oops. How did that happen? Start again:


    The alarming thing is that it’s probably the cuteness that makes the credulous believe what Rives is telling them, on the grounds that surely a fresh-faced, well spoken young fellow like that is more trustworthy than a grizzled old fogey like, perhaps, many of us here and most especially, may the Good Lord forbid, a woman.

    Most people learn by the end of adolescence, if not far earlier, that the reliability of other human beings is independent of their external appearances — their packaging, if you like — but it seems that substantial numbers never do. Hence the ability of, say, a complete dunderhead like Rick Perry to attract electoral support because he has “presidential hair” (the first time I heard the term I thought it was a joke, but . . .); hence the dismissal of Trump by so many not because he’s the ignorant, malignant, bullying, narcissistic bigot that he is but because of the weird color of his face. In both instances the physical characteristics are completely irrelevant and yet, Lombroso-like, many people use them as a basis for character assessment.

    I’ll bet you a dollar to a dime that Rives and his backers — and the WorldNutsDaily — are quite aware of this failing of human reason and are capitalizing upon it by packaging the rev to be as cute — and therefore supposedly as reliable and honest — as he can possibly be.

  12. Well, Noah’s are was really discovered in 1959, so this story goes:

    Noahs Ark Was Found In 1959, But Nobody Knows This

  13. Eric Lipps

    I’d love to see these people explain how the flood accounts for the presence of kangaroos in Australia and nowhere else (not counting those exported as zoo animals and the like, or born in captivity).

  14. @DavidK: Have “they” stuck it in the same hanger with all the UFOs?

  15. Charles Deetz ;)

    @Eric Lipps, not only that but nearly all marsupials in Australia. Must have nested in each others pouches for the trip from Mt. Arrarat.

  16. @abeaastwood

    Yes, the area 51 hanger holds the fossilized ark along with all the little green men.

  17. Realthog is an optimist: “Most people learn by the end of adolescence, if not far earlier, that the reliability of other human beings is independent of their external appearances — their packaging, if you like — but it seems that substantial numbers never do.”
    Since television discovered politics every single election has shown you wrong. For instance Nixon only became president after he had learned the importance of his exernal appearance.
    The Good Rev understands it very well.

  18. As usual, everyone’s comments here are spot on. Curmy, you have done a spectacular job of attracting such a great crowd of intelligent followers. Special shout-out to Ed: “[Rives] is such a waste of a good telescope.” Classic!

    About Rive’s “ideas” — it’s interesting that he talks of “genetic bottlenecks”. Aren’t genetic bottlenecks all about evolution? How does Rives reconcile that with the account(s) of creation in Genesis? (Assuming he understands the implications of genetic bottlenecks — big assumption, that.)

    I’d also like to hear Rives’ explanation of how “The Flood” caused mountains. That’s a real head-scratcher.

    (Apologies if this posts twice — first time tried it hung up.)

  19. @DavidK

    The same article can be found as a single page, rather than irritatingly split up into 11 pages, at

  20. Two words disprove the Noah’s flood nonsense: Lake Suigetsu.

  21. Thanks!
    The Wikipedia article says that the lake has been dated back to 52,800 years, which is close to the limit of radiocarbon dating. Of course, the interest in the lake is not for its incompatibility with its persistence under a world-wide flood. It privides a independent calibration of radiocarbon.