Oook, Oook! Rush Limbaugh and Harambe

Yesterday we wrote Oook, Oook! Klinghoffer and Harambe. The day before it was Oook, Oook! Ken Ham and Harambe. Today we have the reaction of Rush Limbaugh, described by Wikipedia as “an American entertainer, radio talk show host, writer, and conservative political commentator.”

You can read the transcript of Rush’s entire commentary at his website: The Politics of the Gorilla Story. It’s all over the internet, so by now you may have already read about it. Most of it is irrelevant to our concerns, so we’ll give you only what we regard as the best excerpts, with some bold font added by us for emphasis:

We’re gonna get to the gorilla business. That’s easily explained, too. Folks, you remember when the two fish, what kind of fish were they, I keep thinking dolphins or porpoises, way back in the nineties, a couple of them got caught in sea ice, way far north of where they should have been, and the whole country became captivated with, will they find their way out? What can we do? Can we cut holes in the ice so that the porpoise, the dolphins, whatever they were, can we guide them out? Can we do something? Can we save them? Everybody became captivated.

We don’t remember any of that, and it’s not important. Then he says:

To show you how silly it got. For a time Black Lives Matter even got upset about this because they originally thought the parents and the boy were white. Then when they found out that the parents and boy were black, then all hell broke loose and they had to back off and take a different tack on this. (interruption) What are you laughing at? That’s exactly what happened. You denying that? You didn’t know that?

You didn’t know Black Lives Matter got involved? (laughing) It was Black Lives Matter versus gorilla lives matter versus do any life matter, human life versus animal life, what matters most. Easily explainable in our really screwed-up culture and society today.

That doesn’t interest us either. Let’s read on:

So a four-year-old child happens to plunge into the gorilla pen at the Cincinnati Zoo before anybody notices it. And in order to save his life, the zoo people made the decision to kill the gorilla. Now, I am totally aware of why so many people think that the zoo made the wrong decision. I totally understand American pop culture today. I understand our society. I understand where it is.

I understand that, in our culture today, that gorilla, compared to any human being, is the essence of innocence, even a four-year-old child. In fact, many on the left, don’t doubt me on this, you’re gonna think this is funny or crazy, but I’m dead serious. Many on the left compare that gorilla in the zoo with unfair imprisonment of human beings. That zoo is the equivalent of a prison, and of course those kinds of people think that we have too many people in jail in this country. That they are in jail because they’ve been railroaded, not because they’ve committed any crimes. That’s the first thing.

Rush understands. He continues:

By definition, these people cannot be familiar with Genesis, and if they were, they would dissociate themselves from it. They have absolutely no such training, foundation, or awareness of the primacy of humanity on planet Earth as created by God. Such a mind-set does not exist with them. It’s the exact opposite. Humanity is the problem. Humanity is not the solution.

Skipping a load of material, we get to the good stuff:

Don’t doubt me on this. A lot of people think that all of us used to be gorillas, and they’re looking for the missing link out there. The evolution crowd. They think we were originally apes.

Gasp! Here’s more:

I’ve always had a question: If we were the original apes, then how come Harambe is still an ape, and how come he didn’t become one of us? “Well, that’s why they’re all missing link, Mr. Limbaugh. Your question is absurd.”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! Rush is asking: Why are there still monkeys? He’s done it before. Anyway, the rest of the transcript is boring. You can read it all if you like. If we missed something memorable, let us know.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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23 responses to “Oook, Oook! Rush Limbaugh and Harambe

  1. To be honest, I gave up reading after the first paragraph. If he thinks that dolphins and porpoises, whatever they are, are fish I shudder to think what the rest of his article, whatever it is, is like.

  2. You were right, Jason. Of the rest only one half-sentence matters: “If we were the original apes, then how come Harambe is still an ape?”

  3. Rush is a clown and entertainer lacking in both intelligence and imagination. I guess that is why he is so adored by the Faux News crowd.

  4. Thanks mnbo, you have saved me time and my sanity

  5. It’s the cuddly racism and the bogus Christianity that really make the gorge rise.

    Why are there still Limbaughs?

  6. Mark Germano

    If the children of Rush Limbaughs come from Rush Limbaughs, why are there still Rush Limbaughs?

  7. Mark Germano

    Well said, realthog. We’ll said. 🙂

  8. @Mark Germano

    Great minds, etc.

  9. Realthog. Well said indeed.
    Limbaugh wants to know why are there still monkeys???????
    I knew he was a garbage bag but I didn’t know he was a creationist garbage bag. Hambone, Klupperduper and now LimpBaugh all joining the bottom
    feeder frenzy. I guess we should say thanks to SC for finding this new tidbit of creationism craziness, but somehow, this one just makes me really sad.
    Until now I didn’t realize rush was a religious, crazy, hater. I just thought he was your “run of the mill” junior college drop out with a drug habit, a contiuously engaged mouth and a microphone kind of hater. WOW. Based on the numbers of people who listen to him, it gives me a fresh new perspective on the GOP that extends way beyond just evangelicals, creationists and the poorly educated. There are many Texans who tune in to rush on the drive home every day
    Trump needs to add his two cents worth to this.
    I propose that we put Rush, Hambone and Klupperdupper’s names in the hat to be extras for Trainspotting II in the Edinburgh club scene for which a casting call for extras has been sent out
    by the producers. I mean, if they’re looking for kooks, who better? And I think rush would look really good with a spiky purple do and shades.
    Or Hambone for that matter.

  10. Ken Phelps

    “If we missed something memorable…” That’s one of the sadder things about this, there is no chance he will even come up with anything memorably stupid. It’s just stupid in a banal, derivative style. The “Take my wife… please…bada bing” of supposedly edgy political commentary.

  11. [Editor’s note: The following blood-stained document was retrieved yesterday from the ape enclosure at Cincinnati Zoo and, following a successful FOIA application, is herewith made public.]

    WE GORILLAS, who are truly the Privileged Primates of the earth, are often perplexed by the inexplicably savage behaviour and bellowing ignorance of our simian cousins, Homo insipiens. How is it possible, one must ask, that such a benighted creature, puffed up with such excessive amour-propre, greed, and folly was not long ago rendered extinct by the inexorable mechanism of natural selection?

    Some go further. Relying on ‘intuition’, some gorillas hold that such a pitiful and unnatural a creature as man simply could not have arisen by natural means alone. Instead, it is supposed that some supernatural Malevolent Designer, using unspecified powers of oogity-boogity, brought forth such an absurd admixture of half-baked rationality and blind self-destructiveness that is humanity as some sort of cosmic practical joke. Such advocates, who style themselves Crazymalign Proponentsists, delight in pointing out the utter instability of the species and its unsuitability for long-term survival, such as their incomprehensible method of selecting their leading silverbacks only from among the set of their most depraved lunatics and criminals. On the face of it, one can understand why there are among us some who fervently proclaim, “I ain’t no kin to Limbaugh!

    But ‘intuition’ must give way to rational empiricism, and it is incontrovertible (though deeply shameful) that no matter how ridiculous he may be—whether building large landlocked wooden ‘boats’ or else paying to visit such foolish fetishes—man remains our distant, primitive cousin. We should not overlook the fact that, in his brief span of evolution on earth to date, mankind has achieved some intermittent albeit fragile periods of enlightenment, and it is to be hoped that his primitive powers of rationality may yet improve and ultimately prevail.

    But it may equally be the case that man’s lunatic behaviour is nothing more than the normative death rattles of a species undergoing extinction. Even as I write, I can espy an infant of their species precariously balanced on the edge of our protective moat, dangerously dangling over the edge and now–

    [The manuscript abruptly ends here.]

  12. Megalonyx, this is a remarkable coincidence. I had been provided with a copy of that manuscript — which is obviously legitimate — and I was going to post about it. Now I don’t need to.

  13. Apologies, Curmy!

  14. @Megalonyx

    Absolutely splendid! Both funny and trenchant.

    One tiny point. Surely, for verisimilitude, it should be “I ain’t no kin to no Limbaugh!”?

  15. I demand a full DNA scan of Lush Limpbaugh — I’m pretty sure he ain’t no kin of mine!

  16. docbill1351

    El Rushbo makes $20 million a year being a white, raciest bigot. I guess if you can live with yourself it’s a good gig.

  17. El Rushbo makes $20 million a year being a white, racist bigot.

    Hey, that’s the free market — blessed be it!

  18. docbill1351

    Speaking of which, El Rushbo makes $20 million a year and he’s a real pig. It’s not like he has vineyards or art collections. He just has a sty in which he wallows. Seems like a waste to me.

  19. michaelfugate

    But that’s only 666x what a $15/hr worker makes!

  20. If the speed of light were 666x what the evolutionists say, then light could travel 666 light-years in one year, or almost 4 million light-years in 6000 years. That’s about as far as one can see with the naked eye.

  21. Eric Lipps

    By definition, these people cannot be familiar with Genesis, and if they were, they would dissociate themselves from it. They have absolutely no such training, foundation, or awareness of the primacy of humanity on planet Earth as created by God. Such a mind-set does not exist with them. It’s the exact opposite. Humanity is the problem. Humanity is not the solution.
    . . .
    Don’t doubt me on this. A lot of people think that all of us used to be gorillas, and they’re looking for the missing link out there. The evolution crowd. They think we were originally apes.

    I knew Rush was an idiot, but I didn’t know he was a creationist idiot.

    He doesn’t even actually understand what “the evolution crowd” actually say. Evolutionary scientists do not say, and have never said, that “we used to be gorillas.” On the other hand, as the reporter E. K. Hornbeck (a thinly disguised H. L. Mencken says in Inherit the Wind, “Darwin was wrong; man’s still an ape.” Certainly some loudmouthed blowhard media figures are.

  22. There is a good coverage of the question “How come there are still monkeys?” in RationalWiki.org:
    http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/How_come_there_are_still_monkeys%3F

  23. docbill1351

    When Trump is president there will be no more “naked” eyes, I can tell you that. They’re all gonna get covered up, all of ’em. Make America Modest Again!