Today’s letter-to-the-editor appears at a website with which we’re not familiar — The Examiner. Their About Us page says: “Launched in 2008, Examiner.com is a dynamic entertainment, news and lifestyle network that serves more than 20 million monthly readers across the U.S. and around the world.” The letter is titled Why I am a creationist and not a evolutionist. They have a comments section.
The letter-writer isn’t a politician, preacher, or other public figure, so we ordinarily wouldn’t embarrass or promote him by using his full name. But this one is a bit of an exception. First, because his name is one we just can’t ignore — Dale Stuckwish. And second, because he’s the author of a book: Biblical Cryptozoology Revealed Cryptids of The Bible (Amazon listing). Amazon’s “About the Author” section tells us:
Dale Stuckwish is a Christian who loves to study the Holy Bible. He also loves to study Zoology. He loves to read and study about fossils and dinosaurs. He gives God the glory and thanks for the opportunity in writing this book about cryptozoology. He loves the Lord with all his soul, heart, and mind.
The book is available in paperback for only $15.99 and it’s a whopping 92 pages long. The publisher is Xlibris, which describes itself as: “the leading supported self-publishing services provider.” However, despite using a vanity press, Mr. Stuckwish doesn’t qualify for our list of Self-Published Geniuses, because we can’t find any press release that he’s issued to promote his book, so we’ll deal with him only as the author of a letter-to-the-editor. Excerpts from his letter will be enhanced with our Curmudgeonly commentary and some bold font for emphasis. Here we go!
I was once an evolutionist that believed animals and plants evolved over millions of years and that dinosaurs died out 65 million years ago because men said it was so.
Egad — how foolish to believe something merely “because men said it was so.” What changed his mind? Stuckwish tells us:
But that all changed when I got saved by receiving Jesus Christ as my personal Lord and Savior by faith in Him alone [bible quotes and references].
[*Swoon*] This is so inspirational! Let’s read on:
What I believe as a creationist:
• The Word Of God (KJV) from Genesis 1:1 to Revelation 22:21.
• It took six literal (24 hour) days for God to complete His creation [scripture references].
• The universe and the Earth were first things created [scripture references].
• The moon, stars and other celestial objects were created on day four of creation [scripture references].
• God created “kinds” of animals and plants. For example there are many variations of dog kinds not species. Species was a man-made term first used by Charles Darwin in his book The Origin of Species (short title). A beagle does not look like a collie but they are still the same kind, called dogs. You cannot breed a cat (feline) with a dog (canine) to produce a cat/dog hybrid.
• Dinosaurs were with man before the Flood and with man after the Flood, when they came off the Ark.
We had to skip several items, but you can read the letter to enjoy the whole catalog of beliefs. Stuckwish continues:
As a creationist I denounce the evolutionary tree of life that says every thing came from one common ancestor. As a creationist I denounce that the universe as being 14 billion years old and the Earth being 4.6 billion years old.
Here are more things Stuckwish denounces:
As a creationist I denounce the hominid line of ancestors that evolved into man, such as Australopithecus, Piltdown Man, Java Man, Nebraska Man, Neanderthal Man and many others.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA! He bravely denounces Piltdown Man and Nebraska Man. This is the last item on the list of things Stuckwish denounces:
As a creationist I denounce uniformitarianism, Darwinism, or any other evolution theory man has developed.
Okay, dear reader. That should be enough to motivate you to buy the Stuckwish book. Your life will never be the same again.
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