A New Kind of Creationist

News from the real world seems to have silenced the creationists today. They never criticize or even talk about fanatical terrorists because those people are fellow creationists, so there’s not much for us to write about.

To lighten the mood, we found something rather odd in the delightfully named Maidenhead Advertiser, a weekly newspaper located in Maidenhead, in Berkshire, England. Their headline is Circus skills taught to Burchetts Green students on special treat day.

We know — you’re wondering: How did our news sweep turn up a story like that? Be patient. You’ll soon see. Here are some excerpts, with bold font added by us:

On Tuesday pupils at the Burchetts Green Road school in all years took part in various workshops which included learning how to tightrope walk and spin plates on sticks.

Don’t leave us yet, dear reader. Here it comes:

Kevin the Clown entertained pupils throughout the day as well as balloon creationist Mr Dali, who made a balloon animal for each child to take home.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA! A balloon creationist!

The two remaining paragraphs are about the school festivities. Delightful, but of no particular interest, so that’s where we’ll leave it.

And now, because there’s no other news, we we hereby declare another — no, we won’t use our customary term today, but you know what it is. We’re open for the discussion of pretty much anything — science, politics, economics, or even astrology, theology, mythology, and sociology — as long as it’s tasteful and interesting. Banter, babble, bicker, bluster, blubber, blather, blab, blurt, burble, boast — say what you will. But avoid flame-wars and beware of the profanity filters.

We now throw open the comments to you, dear reader. Have at it.

Copyright © 2016. The Sensuous Curmudgeon. All rights reserved.

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13 responses to “A New Kind of Creationist

  1. A balloon creationist!

    Wot? No hot-air jokes here yet?

  2. Eric Lipps

    Pop that balloon!

    No, don’t pick on the poor kids; exposing them to creationism is bad enough.

  3. That’s what we have the Logos Institute for.


    The highlights:

    Does Genesis 4 show that other human beings have been created but Adam and Eve?

    Thought the first 11 chapters of Genesis unquestionably are written in prosaic, historical language God chose to reveal man just a few of the most important facts about the somewhat more than 2000 years of human existence – and the biggest part of this revelation deals with the Creation, the Fall and the Flood.

    Fact is, Cain could have been 100 years old or more when he murdered his brother (remember that, because the patriarchs lived for several centuries – for instance Adam died when he was 930 – in those days being 100 years old was comparable with 20 years old now.
    Moreover Adam and Eve could have had 50 or more kids at the time Cain slayed Abel. They already could have had 300 grandchildren.

    How many people had descended from Adam at the time God set a mark upon Cain?

    They were the dozens, hundreds, possibly thousands on Earth – all descendants from Adam (1 Cor. 15:45) and Eve, the mother of all living (Gen. 3:20). No way reason or inspired revelation forbids a literal explanation of Genesis; on the contrary, they require it.

    End quote.

    Even Ol’ Hambo will have a hard time to beat this.

  4. Charles Deetz ;)

    The balloon creationists on this day are those making the tragedy in Orlando all about themselves, their agenda, or their ‘deepest’ insights into the event. Drives me f’n crazy. It is not about Obama, not about Trump, guns, islam, Benghazi, whatever. A guy hated, and he killed mercilessly. The amount of hate we have in this country, and weaponry, it is amazing it doesn’t happen every day. An outlier, a horrible horrible outlier. The ones who get to claim the day are the victims and all gay people who feel the pain the killer caused to their community.

  5. Dave Luckett

    No offense, Charles Deetz, but this is not an outlier event, as an event. This is the worst of its kind, so far, it’s said, but it’s something that happens most months in the US. They happen for all kinds of reasons, but this particular one is not caused by generalised anomie or alienation or political extremism (as such) or clinical insanity. It was caused by religion. One specific religion.

    Sure, there are crazies of all religious stripes. We have this extreme bigot, for example: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/friendlyatheist/2016/06/12/christian-pastor-celebrates-nightclub-massacre-theres-50-less-pedophiles-in-this-world/

    So no, I’m not excusing any of them. Anderson should be hauled in front of a jury to see whether free speech covers words like these:

    “…the good news is that at least 50 of these pedophiles are not gonna be harming children anymore. The bad news is that a lot of the homos in the bar are still alive”

    Because that sounds awfully like incitement to mass murder to me.

    But nevertheless, even though some of the filthiest, vilest, most depraved vicious wannabe thugs on the planet in the ranks of the Christian right, nothing on this scale was perpetrated by any of them. Of atrocities committed for religious reasons, this, and Charlie Hebdo, and the Paris massacres, the Brussels massacre, the London and Madrid massacres, 9/11, and countless others, were the expression of Islam. Sure, the Christian crazies would like to see gays being thrown off tall buildings – but only the Islamic regimes actually do it.

    We have a problem with all fundamentalist religions, and I’m not for a moment denying it. But we have a clear and present danger a quantum leap nearer and more immediate, and its name is Islam.

  6. I really hate to be the one to, ahh…burst his balloon, but alas, I fear our Curmudgeon has misread the article in question here.

    Although in the UK we do indeed have a smattering of American-style ‘Creationists’ (or Buffoon Creationists, if you will), the term is not prominent in public or political discourse here, and the reference in the article to a “balloon creationist” means nothing more than “someone skilled in creating things out of balloons”, with no religious crack-pottery involved. This is confirmed by a visit to the website of the entertainer involved: Dali Ballooni.

    I suppose, in the other direction, similar ambiguity could arise if one were to describe the likes of Hambo and Rev. Rives as Biblical Contortionists to celebrate their extraordinary ability to twist words into illogic-pretzels of Gordian complexity…

  7. Aarrgh! A sentence in above post is hideously twisted like a balloon animal! For “nothing more that”, read “nothing more than”. Apologies!

    [*Voice from above*] Because of your disrespect regarding the Curmudgeon’s understanding of the news from Maidenhead, you shall endure 24 hours of torment by crabs from the Seventh Planet.

  8. “nothing on this scale was perpetrated by any of them”
    No Dave? No christians involved with Wounded Knee?

    “only the Islamic regimes actually do it”
    Really? Ask Federico Garcia Lorca how free gays were under the totally catholic regime of Franco in Spain.
    Also ask the gays send by Stalin to the Gulag from 1933 on.

    I suppose it’s also because of islam that he was violent and mentally unstable.


    “She said he “seemed like a normal human being,” adding that he wasn’t very religious and worked out at the gym out often.”

    “a clear and present danger a quantum leap nearer and more immediate, and its name is Islam”
    I’ll think of it when I see my female counterpart again tonight. She’s a muslima. Thanks for pointing out the risk I have run for 13 years – no, actually 26 as my ex-wife also was a muslima until we divorced. No matter that they unambiguously condemn such violence – Taqqiya of course.

  9. a “balloon creationist” ? Proof indeed that creationists are full of hot air…

  10. See? I knew one would turn up eventually.

  11. Dave Luckett

    The soldiers at Wounded Knee were not motivated by religious feelings of any sort. Nor was Stalin. The comparison is irrelevant, not to say ludicrous.

    Franco’s treatment of gays was deplorable, but it did not include execution, judicial or otherwise, which it does this day in Iran, or Palestine, and elsewhere in the Muslim world. Franco died in 1975, and his laws were swept away in 1979 for good.

    Just exactly what would it take for you to be prepared to concede that no matter what happy relations you might enjoy with some Muslims, there is a substantial proportion of others who take the Qu’ran, the Hadith and the Sunna seriously when they forbid the faithful to befriend the unbeliever, instruct them to strike off their heads, to lie in wait for them and kill them, and who believe that Muhammad’s example should be followed in all things, including his waging of jihad by the sword?

    It simply astonishes me. Here we have a liberal-sounding westerner, all for peace and rational discourse, but incapable of condemning a violent barbarism arising from fundamentalist religion, and quarreling with one who does condemn it. Why? What on earth have you against the idea that versions of religions that actually produce and practice mass murder must be opposed? And opposed here and now, where these deeds are actually being performed, no matter what has happened in the past?

  12. Again about H. floriensis “hobbit” and the latest related fossil find.

    There is an extended discussion about the significance of this find, by John D. Hawks on his blog:


  13. Charles Deetz ;)

    @Luckett, Even though we all happily throw gruff and insults at ALL creationists (and a little collateral damage to balloon creationists), I think we wouldn’t paint all Christians just as bat-sh*t crazy as Ken Ham. Hambo is in his own plane of crazy, and it would be bad form to blame all christians for his behavior and beliefs. Apply above metaphor to Muslims, repeat as necessary until you see thing my way 😉